Oh mirror mirror upon this dark, shady wall,
Tell me who is the emoist of them all.
It's me of course,
How can it be any other,
The other night I fucked your mother.

I try to be hip, emo, and cool,
And this angst makes me the tool,
For everyone in my third period class
Laughs at me, mocks me, 'cause my pants are so tight they show half my ass.
I tried covering up, but to no avail,
I tried standing up, but my life just fails

Ah, a safety pin is what I need to relieve the angst built up inside,
A scratch here, a scratch there, and then to perfectly time,
A wrist band too high, a wrist band too low,
For all to see, this very sad show,
If my need for attention, and need for at least one person to ask,
What I would tell them was done by my cat.

My cat so ferocious, my cat so mean,
To somehow give me these scratches scratched so perfectly clean,
My cat so careful, my cat so precise,
That when scratching upon me, the scratches are aligned,
So perfectly diced,
And my cat is so weak, only giving me a thin little scar,
It's injury to anger ratio wasn't up to par.

Oh man, hot topic, that's really the shit,
I get to check out the other emo guys and wonder if i can suck their dick,
But oops, my bad, i forgot theirs is non existent

Across the way, there is Ambecrombie and Finch,
Man, they have the hottest guys, I want to give their asses a pinch.
Look at those muscles and the well groomed hair,
Perhaps they like guys, as if,

My life sucks too hard to make that wish come true,
The wish of a dick, and perhaps if i could have one too,
Then i wouldn't be afraid to shower any more,
Because vagina's scare me, they're a deep dark hole,
And the only hole i want filled is my back door

I'm a Hot Topic whore, rocking in there all day long
Dinosaurs, guns, bangbang all night,
I'm cool now right?
With the best emo bands: Taking Back Sunday, MCR, and Hawthorne Heights.
Their screaming, whiny voices don't even bother my delicate ears,
With metaphors about smiling, bleeding, and smite
That everyone repeats over and over again
'Cause it must mean something if repeated a millions times and counting

Punch my throat, black out my eyes, 'cause i want to sleep tonight,
And Ohio is for lovers, amiright??
I'll bleed on your shirt, all the while smiling,
Sorry for that, gotta go, 'cause you slit my throat and I'm dying