Shut up.

Every time you touch me

Every time you break me

You’ve got something to say.

“Shhh . . . it’s alright” or “Don’t be scared”

Do you think I'm going to fall for that?

Again?!

Get your filthy hands away from me.

Let me go.

I don’t WANT to be sitting here on your lap.

Don’t want to be used

Like some toy or doll made

Only for your disgusting fantasies

Why can’t I say anything?

Why am I not allowed to talk?

Every “Stop” and “No” and “Let me go”

Results in a hand clamped over my mouth.

You tell me to shut up.

When I finally rip myself out of your grasp

I scream “STOP IT!”

Then you laugh

And laugh.

Chuckles of humor or disbelief

Or maybe it’s just a sick joy

They spill forth while you slap your knee in mirth.

What’s so funny?

You’re twisted

You’ve lost it

You’re insane.

I turn to run

But you grab me again

With dirty fingers that have been

Where they should not.

You open your mouth and speak

Saying “Don’t ever do that again” and “Stay here” and “Be a good girl, now”

Then you go back to stealing my childhood

With more reassurances and soothing words

I hate it.

And all I can say before you stop me is

Shut up.