Authors Note:

Alright. So for the last little while I’ve been a horrible person and not updating. This summer Art basically took over writing for the most part. And now, College is killing me. If you want to know what I’ve been up to, there’s a comic called RequiemCity that I’ve been working on. I’m going to try to take a bit of a part in a nano-NanowritMo so maybe I can produce a few chapters for that. D: Don’t hurt me!

Chapter 10

“You… want to… what?”

Jeremy’s voice was flat, almost daring me to repeat it again. This was his ‘nice’ way of telling me that my request was completely out of the question. But, mon chere, I shall convince him! Through words! And inappropriate touching! I flung a suitcase at him, having to whip it around once so it would build enough speed to actually do more than flop over.

Bombs away!

“Oof.” It thumped against his chest and he scrambled to hold it there, ending up dropping it onto his barely protected by converse feet. I didn’t make him take off his shoes in the house as it was too much work. He always tied his shoelaces twice around his ankles. I’ve never asked why he doesn’t just get shorter laces, it’s never really come up in conversation.

It would explain a lot…

Maybe half the reason he’s so clumsy is that he’s cut off all the circulation in his feet. “I said,” I pranced across the room, plucking and picking in one of the drawers in the kitchen, pulling out a map to brandish it like a sword. I pointed it towards Jeremy, standing dynamically. “Roadtrip.”

“You’re retarded.”

“What better way to express my love than to show up in person? Or-or at least find out if he’s moved on with his life, has a girlfriend, kids-a house with a white picket fence!” I waved the map about illustrating my point. I feel like one of the three musketeers.

They seemed pretty gay.

“You’re going to get arrested for stalking.” He muttered, picking up the suitcase and placing it aside. “This is asinine-this is-have you even thought through what this means? It means setting aside time to actually travel to whatever god forsaken place this man is living in-and-and you driving alone across the country-are you even listening to me?”

No?

I had already made it half way towards my room. I turned on my heel, leaning against the counter that separated my kitchen from living room. “Uh…”

“You weren’t listening at all.”

Heh?

I grinned at him loosely and shrugged. “It wasn’t anything important anyway.”

“How did you know it wasn’t important!” His voice rose, frustrated. “You weren’t listening!”

Touchy touchy.

But never touching –me-. “I know it wasn’t important because it was probably just you saying something to deter me from my quest. How can you deny me my love-my joy-my very heart and soul!”

“I know that I’ve said this before,” His fingers touched his temples, closing his eyes. “And that this is getting redundant, but. You’re retarded. How many times were you dropped on your head as a kid?”

“Several!” I had pranced into my room, throwing a dozen odd pieces of clothing over my shoulder and out the door into the living room. Ironing is not important when following love. For I would walk five hundred miles and I would walk five hundred more to be the man that fucked you with your face pressed up against the door!

Ba-da-da-daaa!

“Kade!” Jeremy snapped, stepping into the room. I assaulted him with my boxers, flinging them at his head. They caught on his glasses and hung briefly. He grabbed them half growling half groaning.

“Yes my dear?” I purred, trying to find matching socks.

“You’re just going to disappoint yourself. You may have the patience of a saint when it comes to getting what you want but-in all truth-I doubt he does.”

“I want to see for myself.” I nodded. Of course I wasn’t dumb enough to think that he was waiting for me with roses. In silky black boxers. And strawberries with whip cream.

Actually..

Screw the black boxers, I hope he’s wearing the strawberries and whip cream. “Besides, don’t you think he’d want to see his old friend?” I purred.

“No. honestly, no. He’s probably gotten over that part of his life and-and you’re just going to dredge it up and-and-…” I looked up at Jeremy, a short ache going through my chest. I watched his expression change, giving into me with a sigh. “You… want me to go with you, don’t you?”

Yes!

“… Well.. I was hoping..” I was surprised how softly my voice came out. I do care about his feelings and everything but when I want something I usually take the straightest point to get to it and if that meant having to use Jeremy a little..

I mean-

Come on. Someone needs to hold the map.

“This is insane.” I can’t recall how many times he had said this, or something similar to it. “I can’t take off work-we don’t know how long we’ll be gone-I’ll be fired.” Every excuse in the book passed his lips.

Hm.. how to make the excuses go away.

“Tell them someone in your family has died-or! Or you’re going into rehab.” I grinned, quite pleased with myself.

“R-Rehab?!” He yelped. “Why would I be in Rehab?!”

“Rehab for pr-oo-d-ez.” I pronounced it slowly for him, going back to shuffling in my drawer.

“I am not. A prude.” He grunted, taking the clothes that I had thrown across the room. He folded them one by one and placed them on the bed. “All I demand is a touch of commitment. Then I’ll do whatever they want.. well, not whatever.. they want..”

“Oh come on.” I rolled my eyes at him. “I know you. Vanilla as they come. Shouldn’t even know the phrase ‘whatever they want’ let alone use it.” I could feel the dull look boring into the back of my skull. “But! Anyway. Not rehab then, a funeral. That’ll get you at least a week off-Oo! Tell them that you have a Doctors appointment for something embarrassing! They won’t ask if it’s awful to talk about.”

Like an inappropriately lost gerbil.

“I’m not going to lie.”

“I’ll lie for you.” I waved him off, darting past the man to grab the suitcase that still sat in the living room. “I’ll get Darius to lie-I’ll get Zach to lie-I’ll find some random person on the street-come on Jeremy you know I’ll never live to see the day without someone to watch my back.”

“And the world will be a better place.”

“Ooo that’s cold.” I shivered and sauntered up to Jeremy. He stiffened, not sure what I was going to do to him. I looked up at him placing both hands on his chest. “You’re going to have to warm me up after that.” Okay. So, not gunna fuck him, but… it’s okay to flirt with friends right? Right?

I’m right.

He started to blush, cheeks turning crimson against his papery skin. “Er-”

“Kidding.” I rolled my eyes. “Now.. come on. Fake a death. There’s gotta be someone in your family who won’t turn up in the city. Make up a cousin. Like your boss is going to do a background check on you to see if they really exist.” I laughed, and crossed to the bed, starting to pile the clothes he had folded into the suitcase.

“You’re… really set on this, aren’t you?” He let out a sigh, starting to break down.

“Not gunna budge. Going to go alone if you don’t come with me.”

I’m a stubborn bitch.

Once more, a sigh. He does that a lot. “And nothing I say is going to talk you out of this?”

“Nope. Not a word.”

It’s true.

“This isn’t fair to me you know.” He mumbled under his breath, running a hand through his hair. I know full well it isn’t fair to you.

But when has that ever stopped me?

“I’ll compensate you. I’ll figure out some way to cover your rent for the month or something.” Means I’ll have to fuck a few people that generally can’t get any from my age range on their own but if it means that I don’t have to travel on my own I’m game.

“I’ll.. I…”

Now, dealing with Jeremy is very easy, you can take one of two routes. You can guilt him into something, by say.. saying you’ll get into trouble if you do it yourself or say you’d do the same to him. Or, you can take the high route. I take the low route. It’s easier.

“If.. if I get fired. You have to find me a job.” He mumbled. “I can barely pay for rent as it is. If I lose my job I’m going to have to.. do something.” His eyes met the carpet, obviously unable to think of anything.

He’s a fairly simple person to read, the kind that wears his emotions on his sleeve. Even when he tries to put up a mask, it’s definitely a transparent one. “Don’t woorrryy.” I squealed, turning I took two long leaping strides and jumped on the man.

Yay! Got my way!

His thin long legs collapsed under him, sending him toppling onto the white carpet of my living room with me on his chest. Good god he’s bony. Like landing on a pile of pipes. “Oof.” I giggled and cuddled up to him, head resting on his collarbone. “I knew you’d say yes!”

“Of course you did. You play me like a fiddle.” He grunted, wheezing in a breath. He had censored himself. I could tell. He definitely wanted to add in God-Damn to that fiddle part.

I’m not much of a fiddler,

More of a floutist-or an organ grinder. Oo that was naughty. “Oh no I don’t.” I pressed my nose into the dip where his collarbone met in the middle. Once more, he stiffened. And not in the good way.

Such an awkward man.

“When should I be prepared to leave by?” He muttered through his teeth, taking great care to stare at the ceiling, looking anywhere but at me. Because I’m cute and got my way and he’s mad about it.

Haha. Gotcher will.

Better than his William. You can call it a William right? I dunno. Willie! There we go. “Tomorrow.” I cooed.

“Tomorrow?!” He choked and pushed me off of his chest. “I can’t take time off on that short notice.”

Oh yes you can.

“There was a death in your family, sudden an unexpected. You have to go comfort your mother, sister, brother, whoever.” I waved my hand.

“You’re too good at lying.” He grabbed the edge of the table beside the door, hauling himself up to his feet.

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” I grabbed his belt, pulling myself up using that. I felt him awkwardly bend his hips away from me, very aware of his more delicate bits that were quite near to my fingers.

I’m not going to touch them I swear.

Still pretty passive after dealing with my own. “So. You take care of that. I’ll drop by your house tomorrow afternoon and we sill start our grand adventure of awesome!” I struck a pose, jutting one hip out.

“… I’m going to regret this after the first hour of being stuck in the car with you.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I-… I can’t make any promises. If they refuse to give me the time-a-and I can only take a week-m… maybe two tops…”

“Tell them you live in like, England. That’s where the death occurred.”

“Do I look English to you? No accent. No nothing.” He grunted.

Stupid boy.

“Your family is British. They moved here when you were born because the cost of living was less and they could give you more so you were around normal kids and didn’t develop the accent. Duh.” I flicked my wrist.

“How-how can you even come up with that so fast?!”

“Lots. Of. Practice.” I snapped my tongue and blew a kiss at the flabbergasted Jeremy. He really doesn’t understand my masterful criminal mind.

I’m a Smooth Criminal.

Crotch grabbing and moon walking ensues. “So. Just tell them that and be ready at four. I want to find a place to stay by nightfall so.. we can get maybe four hours out of the city.”

“… fuck.”

Ooo Jeremy swore.

I strode forward and gave his chest a gentle pat. “It’s going to be okay lovely. We’re a dynamic duo. We’ll be sure to get out of this unscathed.”

“.. I will only be part of a dynamic duo if I get to be batman.” His tone was flat.

“Well holy gee willickers I’ll get my yellow tights!” I squealed and once more took off into my room, clicking my suitcase closed.

“.. I only hope you’re not serious about the tights.”

In twenty four hours, I’d be on my way to battle my most feisty foe.

Haven.