Chapter One

Love is not a gadget, love is not a toy. When you find the one you love, you’ll fill your heart with joy… or so says the lyrics from Tears On My Pillow.

So am I the one you love, or am I just a toy?

I walk into the ballroom, my eyes filled with uncertainty. Each step in advance is a mental torture and moment of regret. A second ago, I felt like Cinderella. Now I am just a damsel in distress, hoping to be saved by Prince Charming. But this isn’t fairytale in reality. He isn’t coming, and he never will. I know it because I have always been naïve, and this is not going to be an exception.

I remember the last letter he has written. He said he would come for me, and that he would show me his face. But a quarter hour has passed and he has yet to come. Is he trying to make a fool out of me, or is he really late?

“You look beautiful tonight,” a gentle voice says into my ears, and I feel my body stiffen. His enchanting voice is like a melody to the ears, just as I had expected.

Is he the one? Or am I dreaming? My Prince Charming, the one and only whom I know is special. Or at least I think he is.

As I slowly turn around, I feel a mixture of emotions. Anxiety, fear, anticipation and excitement… the butterflies in my stomach are rolling into a ball and ready to burst into beautiful fireworks. It has to be him!

And now my mouth is agape in horror and shock. My eyes widen in amazement as what I have long thought to be is finally revealed right in front of me.

“It’s… you?” I didn’t expect my voice to falter in such appall, or even sound that disgustingly, awfully, soft to me – like I have been waiting for this moment to happen all along. I would have wished to do so, if not for who this man is.

“Yes, it is me.” Even his usual, horribly detestable smirk is melting my eyes.

“But… wait a minute, are you serious?” I find my heart skipping with unknowing joy, which I refuse to show. He, my Prince Charming? This is outrageously impossible! Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine this person to be my soul mate. As far as I know, he himself is already impossible. All in all, I’d imagine him to be far less handsome, far less charming, and far less whatever-good-traits-you-can-throw-in.

He takes me by my hand, and I feel an instant pulse of electricity transmitted through his touch. His presence itself is unbearable enough, let alone the physical contact of his body.

“Why do you seem so surprised?” he asks as he leads me to the dance floor. I have never thought his voice to be so gentle and caring. I have always assumed people like him to be rough, insensitive and arrogant. Sons of wealthy parents never learn their manners, but I’d never expect this one to be different.

I look at him shyly, “because… because you’re supposed to be a jerk who knows not how to care about people’s feelings?” I find myself blushing like a ripened tomato.

He grins at me and pulls me in to his chest. Now I feel like evaporating into thin air. I can hardly breathe, especially with his strong cologne seducing my senses. Imagine the dozens pairs of eyes aiming for my back now, filled with intense jealousy and hatred – ready to hit bullseye. I can’t believe my life has turned into a fairytale. All along I had envisioned myself to be the poor, abused Cinderella with no fairy godmother or pumpkin ride to the castle. But now my life has changed, and it has changed a hundred and eighty degrees.

Or maybe… life will still be the same after it strikes twelve, after all.

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I must be dreaming.

As the head-splitting alarm pierces into the thin silent air, I reach out for the comforter on my face, only to realize that there is nothing. I let out a groan and scratch my head, feeling frustrated and annoyed. With my eyes still half-opened, I turn to my side to expect my alarm clock buzzing on my chocolate brown drawer – only to realize that there is no chocolate brown drawer, too.

At that very nanosecond, my heart almost stops beating.

Not knowing what is worse, I turn to my left only to see a half-naked boy, stretching his arms and yawning out loud.

Oh. My. God.

Immediately a ear-shattering scream rises from my lungs as I burst into a hysteric frenzy, throwing the pillow and anything nearby straight at him.

He shouts back in shock and tries to avoid my attacks, but ends up rolling off the side of the bed. “What the fuck are you doing?!” he yells as he finally gets up from the floor, wincing in pain at his bruised eye. He has hit himself against the corner of the drawer and now his eye is a blue-black colour. At that very moment, I almost could not help but suppress an evil laughter. Serve this bastard right.

“You’re an asshole,” I sneer at him, regaining my composure. “I can’t believe I did this with you. How could you do this to me?!”

“Did what?” he seems to be playing naïve. “Oh… you mean slept with you?”

I raise my hand, ready to lunge at him, but he catches it quickly and pulls me towards him. I end up having my face buried in his awfully toned chest. It is nearly suffocating.

“Fuck, you’re a whore,” I murmur, feeling helpless in his overbearing strong arms.

“Look who’s talking.” He straightens my shoulders and brings my face close to his, his arms still gripping tightly onto mine. I stare at him furiously. As angry as I am, I could not help but feel my face turn a hue of red. Why is he so goddamn gorgeous even after waking up with such awfully messy hair?

He gives the usual, awful smirk again, seeing how I have softened. I remember it clearly last night – how that expression almost melted my eyes. And now I live to regret it.

“You can’t do this to me,” All of a sudden I find myself on the losing end, realizing how much damage this has done on me. “You duped me into sleeping with you, you motherfucker. I can’t believe that you’re just the same as any other guy.”

“Oh, you mean you thought I was different? Like… special?” he leans in close to me. “Yes, I am. I am different.”

I back away from him, finding myself hating him more with each passing second.

He can’t be the mystery boy who writes to me. This is not who I’d imagined to be. It can’t be him! He’s not that kind of person…

“Get your hands off me,” I demand angrily, trying to break free from his hold.

“Why should I?”

“Please, stop it!” this time my voice is shaking as fear and anger conquers me. I struggle violently and scream and shout at the top of my lungs, but he refuses to let go. Instead he pins me down on the bed, and locks me in an unwilling position.

“You like this, don’t you?” he grins, expecting me to succumb to his distasteful way of handling girls. My heart is pounding vigorously against my ribs as fear and horror fills me completely. I am at a terrible loss.

“Let me go… please…” I plead, now choking on my tears. It seems like putting up a strong front is of no use now. My pride and dignity, they are ruined forever.

Then finally, he lets go. Warm tears stroll down my cheeks as I lie on the bed, feeling weak and tainted. My bare body has been exposed to a stranger whom I hardly know, and this man – he has got to be the worst stranger I’ve ever known.

“I’m sorry,” he apologises quietly. “I thought… you liked me.”

I look at him with tears in my eyes. I feel guilty and remorseful for what I have done. How I have ruined my life, and how it has turned into a complete disaster. Even if he is cute, handsome, pretty or whatever word to describe a good-looking guy, I still cannot forgive myself for losing my chastity to a man whom I barely know.

“I don’t ever want to see you again. Ever.”

I, Samantha Rosekins, have slept with the world’s no. 1 jerk, and he ought to be castrated and burned into ashes. It is my biggest mistake to have to believe in non-existent fairytale jokes.

If there are any better words to describe fuck, it would be what I am feeling right now.

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Author’s Note:

I hope the first chapter is all right. Please do drop a review and tell me how you feel about this story, I will really appreciate it. I hope this introduction is not too confusing for any of you though.