Sandy the Internet Martyr

Sandy the Internet Martyr was born on October 8, 1991, to a couple with a meager annual salary of 2 million pesos. She grew up sheltered from the outer forces of the world, trapped in the safety of her hotel room in Paranaque. When she was in her tenth year, her parents introduced a curios device called A laptop. This device, according to her parents, would allow her access to the outside world and there started her journey to understand everything the world provided (LOLOLOLOLOLOL).

Unfortunately, a dastardly plan to monopolize the Internet was formed by a man called BILL GATES, who placed a huge tax on the holy land of Google. Everyone suffered from his misdeed, and soon, the population of the Internet shrunk and Sandy was left blog-less once again.

She called on her Internet buddies and together, they formulated a way to infiltrate the headquarters of this terrible mastermind.

On the day the word OMG was bought by Google (gasp!), Sandy and her troop of Internet explorers—deadbecauseIkilledit, RedNinja64, cutestar-pinkangel and IMYHWH—set out on a epic journey to find the mythical motherboard to plant a virus in Bill Gates’ Macintosh-themed fortress.

For more than 100 online hours (without the offline for bathroom breaks), they continued to search for the motherboard. Finally, they were able to find it. (Yay! LOLOLOL)

Bill Gates found out and sent SPAM to distract the team. During the distraction, a virus attacked Sandy and as a result, Sandy was permanently booted off line. Suddenly a bright light emanated from Sandy’s CPU. It was a call from IMYHWH!! Apparently, IMYHWH was just God’s MySpace username which had over 500,000 friends. He gave Sandy a mythical hand. God bestowed upon her an extra life to bring her back to the world of the Internet. (Miracle! LOLOLOL)

With the element of Surprise! (LOLOLOL) she managed to overcome the Spam messages and viruses that had taken her friends byte per byte. Just as she was about to plunge the virus infected sword into the motherboard, Bill Gates laughed at her and said “If you do that, you too shall die! God hath tricked you! LOLOLOL :DD”

Sandy looked at her opponent and said, “OMFG I don’t care. For the world!!” With that, she plunged the sword into the motherboard and with that she and her surroundings vanished.

Since then, the internet became a safer, tax-free place thanks to Sandy the Internet Martyr. (LOLOLOLOL)