-1Life Ends With You

“You’re such a badass.”

“She is, isn’t she? One mistake after another. When are you going to get your self together and graduate with the mark you deserve? You’re not getting anywhere in life Thea,” said the second voice.

“Oh please. You guys are being hypocrites. And it’d be a shame to stop now, when I’ve started to make really good mistakes,” a third voice joining the conversation.

Three people were sitting cross legged facing each other in the park near to where they all lived. A boy with black hair and the girl to his right were nagging the third person in the group. Each putting in their statements while the other took a breath only to continue later. The third person, a girl, was playing with the grass and occasionally looked up at them and fired back a defending comment.

“Really Thea. We planned this from kindergarten. We’d always go to school together no matter what,”

“Hun, things change. You want to be a doctor I don’t,” Thea shot back.

“What do you want to be a high school loser? Don’t you want to graduate? Indigo a little help from the male section would be helpful,” replied the girl.

“Um… Ellie it’s no use. She’ s not going to listen. Although I don’t agree with your choice of work- to sleep with the entire city, Thea, in the end its all up to you what you do with your life. And its you who will get an STI,” replied the Indigo.

“ Thanks for the fortune telling. I need to go. Meeting some people,” replied Thea as she got up shaking grass of her and walking away.

Lately Indigo and Ellie had really gotten under her skin. They couldn’t understand that she didn’t want to go to university. They had started of hinting at a later education a few months ago but when realizing that it wasn’t getting through they flat out started to push her to apply. She had promised to consider it but her mind was already made up. They were just different.

A few blocks down Thea reached a small blue house. She was momentarily blinded when she entered due to the total darkness inside the house. Once her eyes got used it she made out a couch and a few people sitting around it.

“Ah, she has arrived. Thea my darling I believe we have some unfinished business from last week.,” said a guy sitting on the couch his mouth in a smirk.

“I guess so,” she replied and as she said this he got up, grabbed her by the hand and led her away from the group to a smaller room with a bed. The voices from the living room leaked away and all silence covered her as she felt the guy get closer to her. Closer and closer and closer.

Thea and Ellie were sitting in a small café whose owner had intended it to be Rock themed but had somehow mistaken the décor and it became more gothic styled.

“Where were you last night? I called you but no one picked up?” asked Ellie her voice worried.

“Had some things to do.”

“Who were you with?”

“No one. Don’t worry about it,” replied Thea stirring her drink. Ellie sighed, deciding to drop the subject.

“Indigo was kind of upset after you left yesterday,”

“Why ? He’s not my babysitter,” asked Thea.

“He likes you, you know?”

“He likes me as a friend. I’ve known his for as long as I can remember”

“He likes you as more.”

Thea looked at Ellie and said nothing. This conversation had taken on in a direction she didn’t like.

“I wish you’d give him some attention. He cares for you so much,” Ellie pressed on.

“We’re friends. We’re just there to talk to someone so we don’t go insane. Friends aren’t something we die over. You make it sound like having a friend means being in a relationship with them. Acquaintances are friends. Interaction is friends. Nothing more nothing less.”

“You don’t really believe that do you? It still hurts Thea. It hurts just as much as being in love. We worry, we cry, we endure, we take half the pain. So don’t sit here and tell me shit like that. Indigo has been there for you, for both of us and all you can call him is an acquaintance. Friendship is a relationship. It takes work and commitment and it is painful but in the end its worth it,” answered Ellie. Her voice rising with each word.

“It’s not though. Not for me friendship isn’t like being in love. Romance is something else.”

“Bullshit,” cried Ellie dropping her straw in her drink.

Thea stopped eating and stared at Ellie. She had never seen her so pissed off. This was a different side of the gentle and shy Ellie. Thea had not expected this outburst.

“Excuse me?”

You heard me. Bullshit. Friendship is very similar to romance. They are both frustrating, confusing and difficult and scary. Both are variations of one love. Variations. Both are the same desire to be close. To have someone who cares enough to love you and to shoulder the pain when its too much to bare. But I suppose you of all people wouldn’t know what love is, Thea.”

“Oh really? How so? Enlighten me please.” replied Thea who was slowly getting angry.

“Indigo is the nicest guy you know. He has never been anything but nice to you yet all you can say about him is that he’s just there so you don’t go insane talking to no one. You go from bed to bed with anyone who you meet. Not sharing anything but physical pleasure yet when someone who cares for you wants to get close you call them an acquaintance. I think you’re searching for something, maybe not love but something that means enough to make you stay long enough to feel something. To open up and feel what you’re missing out on. What are you scared of Thea?”

“You make it sound like I’m a freaking prostitute. I don’t sleep with everyone I meet and you can go tell that to your precious Indigo. I cant take any more of this. You make friendship sound like the Twirling Teacups at Disneyland. I have to go,” replied Thea while she got up and grabbed her coat to leave.

“There you go, leaving when things get tough. Heading to another client I’m guessing.”

“I’m not a fucking whore. I don’t sleep with everyone. Frig” yelled Thea walking towards the exit sign.

“You make it really hard to care for you. Almost impossible. Almost” said Ellie quietly not turning to look at Thea.

“Then don’t.”

As she walked away she thought back to what Ellie had said to her. The more she thought about them the more guilty she became. She reached an intersection. Knowing she needed to turn right she kept walking straight instead. She walked and walked until finally she rounded a corner and a tiny pale green house came into view. She walked up the stairs and rang the door bell. It was a few seconds before the door opened. In the doorway stood a boy wearing a white t-shirt and loose jeans with a giant rip on one knee and bare feet. She looked up and met his eyes. He seemed surprised to see her. She had never come her on her own.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

“Hey. Um do you want to come in or…”he said after a few minutes. The rest of his sentence getting lost in the space between them. She never stayed anywhere for long. She nodded and he stepped away to let her through. He led her up to his room and as he closed the door she suddenly couldn’t stop the words from coming loose.

“Listen, Indigo I talked to Ellie and she said you were worried about me last night. I’m sorry you did but you really should. I’m fine I always am.”

“Yeah I suppose you are. I cant help it. You always go off and we never know where you are till we see you the next time. How can I not?”

“There are many reasons. “

“There are but reasons deceive. They are never enough. So I don’t want to know yours. I’d rather worry,” he replied as he sat down on the floor. His legs sprawled inform of him.

“Why do you care so much?” she asked as she crossed her legs on his bed.

He looked down at his hands. His hair falling in-between them, creating a curtain between her and the things he wasn’t willing to let her see.

“I don’t know some times. We’re friends. I’ve known you forever. It’s just an instinct. Maybe.”

“You’ve seen me grow up. Pass through the awkward stages and you still want to be my friend. Also forever is doubtable since we’re still not done living.”

“We’ve known each other longer than when we haven’t therefore for now it is forever. And you’ve seen me grow through those stages , do you still want to be my friend?” he asked looking up at her.

“We are friends.”

“Hmm. I have to ask something then since we’re on the topic. What is I don’t want to be just a friend?”

She stopped fidgeting and looked at him. He was waiting for an answer. She got up and said “I’m sorry I have to go. I have to meet some people?”

“No you don’t. You just cant answer. Do you really need to meet those people or do you want to so that you can escape my question?”

She turned away and started to leave as he got up and grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t. Just stay for once. Don’t leave again. Every time we meet you keep leaving me behind. Over and over again. Stay,” he said and he put his fingers over the doorknob.

Thea was trying to slow her breathing. He had never considered Indigo in that way. Ellie had been right, he did like her. She wished she had listened to her back at the café. She didn’t know what to do. She could feel the heat coming from his hand on her wrist. Her back still turned to him, she nodded without realizing it. He let go and she turned around to face him.

“Ellie told me that you might like me. I didn’t believe her.”

“Yeah, she’s known for along time.”

She looked up and him and he smiled. She relaxed a bit and poked him in the stomach. He laughed and poked her back. She flinched and he began tickling her. She squirmed and twisted but she couldn’t get away from him.

“Stop, stop I give up. Please stop tickling me. I’m so close to either dying or peeing in my pants,” she cried between laughs.

He stopped and lay down on his bed. She lay down beside him. She looked at him and ruffled his hair.

“You messed up my hair.”

“You deserve it. Plus it looks good when its so wild.”

“Thanks. I think that was a compliment but coming from you it could have a double meaning,” he said

“Shut up”

She turned on her side and looked him over. He was so tall and thin. His t-shirt too small exposed skin. He lay with his hands behind his head and his hair in his face. He looked so handsome. She had never noticed he had a nicest teal eyes she had ever seen and how his mouth was always in a secret smile and how his dimples only added to the stunning look he was going for. It was as if she was noticing him for the very first time. He seemed to notice her staring then and have her a questioning look.

“Checking me out or something?”

“Yeah.”
“And?” he asked expecting an answer. Thea reached over and moved his hair away from his eyes. She leaned over slowly. He seemed to realize what she was doing and started fidgeting. When her lips reached his he was suddenly still. Her heartbeat sped up and her breath hitched in her throat. She had been with to many men before this but nothing felt so nice and explosive. This was a totally new feeling and Thea hadn’t decided if she liked or was ready for it. Indigo seemed to be suffering from the same case of butterflies as her. He moved hands to her face and held them there. Finally they parted. Both satisfied.

“You have the loveliest case of blushing,” she laughed.

“I can say the same for you.”

“We’re so cheesy,”

“I like cheese.”

“Me too”