Oh, the Imperfection

Author: Ilze09

Summary: Jeice Barton’s life was perfect. Popular. Athletic. Smart. Who would have thought one meeting with a male exotic dancer could change everything?

Rating: R

Warning: Contains strong homosexual content.

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Fourteen.

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You know what feels really, really good? Waking up after a night of partying… without a hangover.

I realize just how good that feeling is when my eyes crack open to be met with the dim light shining in through the curtains of Dive’s small bedroom. I let out a deep yawn as I roll over, my arm reaching out as if attempting to embrace the person that should have been sleeping next to me.

But, as I already knew, he was nowhere to be found.

A light sigh escapes my lips as I sit up in the bed and peer around the room in a sleepy daze. Everything is the same as the night before, no sign of the owner of this room.

With a shake of my head, I roll out of bed and quickly locate my boxers. After slipping on the slight bit of fabric, I pad out of the bedroom and into the tiny space Dive calls his living room, just like I had last night.

However, unlike last night, I don’t see Dive sleeping alone on the couch.

The blanket and pillow the dark-skinned dancer had used still lay there, but there was no sign of the boy.

I sigh deeply as I look through the kitchen and bathroom before accepting defeat and slouching down in one of the chairs surrounding Dive’s kitchen table. I place my elbows on the table and allow my head to rest in my hands as I sigh once more.

He couldn’t even stay till morning? Am I that much of a burden on him that not only can he not stand sleeping next to me but he can’t stay staying in the same building? Why is Dive so confusing all the time?

I shake my head but look up suddenly as the sound of the front door opening catches my attention. I watch as Dave saunters into the room, shutting the door behind him and looking over at me with brows raised.

“Awake at last, sleeping beauty?” Dive asks with a smirk as he steps towards me and drops two takeout bags onto the table. I stare up at him confusingly. Dive is fully clothed, wearing a pair of tight-fitting black jeans and a plain white v-neck shirt. His hair is tied back in a ponytail, showing off his angelic features. A smirk is cracked on that chiseled face and I can’t help but blink in confusion.

“Where’d… you go?”

Dive chuckles a bit as he opens one of the bags and pulls out a small, Styrofoam container. He cracks it open and the smell of freshly baked pancakes wafts into my nose.

“Fetching breakfast, of course.” Dive chuckles a bit as he takes the seat across from me and pulls out his own container. He also displays two cups of coffee and a chocolate chip muffin.

I silently wonder how this suave bastard knew I love pancakes and that chocolate chip was my favorite kind of muffin.

“It’s nice to see you fully dressed, Mr. Barton.” Dive comments sarcastically.

The statement is enough to make me blush slightly but a shake it off as I shovel a bite of my breakfast into my mouth, “I just woke up, bite me.”

A chuckle escapes Dive’s mouth and he shakes his head, “I guess some people just aren’t morning people. Although, that’s a stretch. It’s nearly 11:30.”

I can’t help but groan. How’d it get so late?

We eat mostly in silence. The urge to ask Dive so many questions was bothering me, forcing me to bite my tongue. I wanted to interrogate him, ask him why he refused to sleep with me after we’re finished, ask him the identity of Gus Christianson, and, most of all, ask him who ‘Dive’ really was.

But I didn’t. I just ate my breakfast in silence and left to get dressed afterwards. As I pull my pants on, I feel the gentle vibration of my cell phone in my pocket and I pull it out. The words on my phone’s screen tell me I have one new text message. I open it quickly and skim over the words.

‘Left your car at Laney’s.’

Ah, Marcel, ever the conversationalist. Oh well, he’s probably in major pain from the hangover that he seems to get every weekend.

I rejoin Dive in the living room and stretch leisurely as he sits on the couch, flipping through some magazine he’d picked up while he was out.

“Am I driving you home?” Dive asks while he continues reading through the pages.

“Yeah.” I mutter quietly as I lean on the faraway wall, “I guess I don’t really have a choice.”

Dive chuckles as he tosses the magazine back down on the couch and climbs to his feet, “Don’t sound too enthusiastic.” The older man grabs the keys from the table and holds the door open for me.

“Hey, wait.” I finally state as something clicks in my mind, “Where’d you get a car anyways?”

The two of us descend the stairs of Dive’s apartment building as the dancer speaks up, “Borrowed it from a friend at work last night. He didn’t mind, it’s no big deal.”

I nod slowly as we step out into the warm daylight and head for the car. For some reason, it makes me smile a bit when Dive holds the passenger door open for me but the feeling quickly fades as the darkly tanned male turns on the ignition and pulls out of his parking lot.

“So.” Dive starts as he drives steadily down the road, “You never did tell my why you stood up for that kid last night.”

I blink at the odd question and lean my head against the window, “Did I need a reason?”

“I would think so. You stood up to that Jer guy, right? Isn’t he, like, the biggest badass in school or something?”

I shrug my shoulders gently, “I wouldn’t call him a ‘badass’ but he’s something like that.”

“Not to mention the two of you play football together. Isn’t standing up to him breaking the ‘brotherly bonds’ or some bull shit like that?”

A slight chuckle escapes my lips and I gently punch Dive on the shoulder, “Shut up, man. There’s no such thing as that. You’ve been watching too many lame football movies.”

Dive snickers a bit and shrugs, “Hey, I’m just trying to pick your brain, Jeice.” He chuckles once more before continuing, “Didn’t you say that the guy that was getting picked on was… gay?”

The other male’s words cause me to blink a bit before shaking my head. What was he insinuating? Was he trying to make it sound like I stood up for him because I felt some sort of camaraderie? Because I felt his pain? Because I’m… gay?

I roll my eyes and grit my teeth before quickly looking away from Dive, “That had nothing to do with it. I was just sick of Jer’s bullshit and finally had enough. That’s all the reason.”

Dive nods slowly but that smirk never leaves his lips. That fucking annoying, know-it-all smirk that he always seems to sport. I really, really hate how much that smirk turns me on…

However, deep down, I can’t deny just how much it angered me to hear Jer berating Mickey for his sexual orientation. Was it really because of that that I stood up for him? If it wasn’t for Jer using the word ‘fag ‘ then would I not have cared? Fucking Dive, always making me think…

“What’s with all the questions this morning anyways?” I quickly spit out, trying to change the subject.

Dive laughs a bit, “I’ve asked once question, and it’s hardly morning anymore.”

I roll my eyes, “Fine, can I ask one then?”

Dive chuckles lightly and shrugs, “Shoot.”

I nod and take a deep breath before continuing, “Why’d you leave to go sleep on the couch last night?”

The question seems to change the air in the vehicle. Dive’s smirk remains on his face, but I can see it waver following my words. There’s a faint glint in Dive’s eyes, enough to tell me his mind is working overtime.

I won’t lie; it feels good to finally be the one doing the interrogating.

Dive finally clears his throat and chuckles a bit, “I couldn’t sleep next to you.” He hesitates a bit before chuckling nervously, “You’re always rolling around and snoring, I don’t see how anyone could.”

With that, the dancer laughs loudly to break the silence but I simply roll my eyes and look away. There’s more to Dive than that. I can tell just by the way he hesitated, there’s something much more to it. Plus, I know for fact that I’m a silent sleeper. No, Dive is hiding something from me, and for some reason, I want to know what.

Finally, we begin to leave the city and enter the soft suburbs of Southwood. For most people, it feels good to see the familiar sights of their hometown. However, that’s not the feeling I get when I see the ‘Welcome to Southwood’ sign.

Instead, I am reminded of the cold sadness that seems to follow all its inhabitants. I remember the uncomfortable solitude of my household, and the pressures put on me by my fellow townspeople. I can sense the feeling of being trapped, of never being able to leave Southwood. It reminds me of a prison, only worse.

I sigh and shake the thoughts from my head as Dive takes a couple turns at my order and we finally pull into my driveway. There are no cars on the white pavement and I silently think to myself.

Finally, a small smile comes onto my face and I turn to Dive, “Want to come in?”

Dive blinks for a moment and looks up at the house, “Aren’t your…”

I chuckle a bit and open my door, “Dad goes to eat with a few of his friends on Sundays and usually isn’t back till late afternoon and Mom has some errands she always runs. House is empty.”

Dive chuckles a bit as he steps out of the borrowed car and follows after me as I pull my house key from my pocket and open the door. The inside of the house is littered with the familiar smell of the vanilla-scented candles my mother is in love with, and of the faint aroma of Dad’s whiskey. I lead Dive into the house and shut the door behind us.

The older man looks around the house his hands in his pockets before letting out a whistle of impressments, “My, my, the infamous Barton threshold. It’s quite a sight, rich boy.”

I roll my eyes as I motion for Dive to follow me as I head for the stairs, “Shut up, this is far from rich, asshole.”

Dive shrugs his shoulders as he follows me up the stairs. I lead the dancer down the hall before kicking open my bedroom door and stepping in, but not before spinning around and stopping Dive at the doorway.

“Now, it’s not exactly super clean so no remarks, got it?” I point a finger in Dive’s face and the dark-haired male laughs before agreeing.

Finally, I stand aside and let Dive step in. The dancer puts his hands in his pockets and looks around the room casually, nodding silently to himself. As I’d said, my room is a little disorganized. It’s not exactly messy but there’s some clothes lying around and few miscellaneous items scattered about. Still, my room looks rather plain, even compared to Dive’s undecorated abode.

The corners of Dive’s lips turn up as he looks at me and nods, “I like it.”

I chuckle a bit and throw my wallet and phone on the dresser, “Most people think it’s boring. I’m not real big on decorating or any of that shit so…”

“No, it’s nice.” Dive smiles gently at me as he takes another look around the room, “It’s simple and nice. I like it.”

The stare at Dive for a moment before shaking my head and nodding, “For some reason, I thought you would.”

Our eyes meet as I throw my keys down on the table then step towards the older man. That gentle, discerning smile is still on his face and his hands are still in his pockets when I wrap one of my arms around his slender waist and press my lips against his.

Dive’s lips greet my own gently and his hands slowly escape from his pockets and wrap around my neck and shoulders, his kiss merging into my own with its usual passion.

The older boy breaks the kiss quickly and smiles at me with bright teeth, “Is this why you wanted me in your room, Mr. Barton?”

I chuckle as I grip Dive’s waist tightly and begin backing him up towards the bed, “I’m showing you around. This is how you showed me around your place, isn’t it?”

Dive laughs but is given little time as my mouth once again covers his. He lets out a slightly surprised gasp as my tongue invades his mouth. It feels good to catch Dive by surprise finally.

The dancer continues to back up until his leg hits the edge of my bed and he tumbles backwards, landing on my mattress with me on top. I sit on top of the male, one leg on each side of his body as my tongue continues to explore the confines of Dive’s mouth.

I can feel Dive’s hands begin to trace down my chest and I know what he’s going for, but I won’t let him this time. It’s my turn to show Dive what I can do. I gently brush off Dive’s lingering hands and break the kiss. My lips begin to trace down Dive’s neck, taking the time to bite the boy’s neck just as he always had with me.

I continue making my way down the older man’s body, lifting up his short to nip and peck at his well sculpted abs and chest before making my way to his belt. I glance up at Dive, who is looking down at me with a small glint of surprise in his eyes, before going to work and unbuckling the boy’s belt.

Following the belt, I unbutton and unzip the stripper’s pants and gently, but clumsily, tug down the tight pants. I can feel Dive’s hands as they massage my scalp and work through my hair. How can that simply gesture turn me on so much? Do I have that same effect on Dive?

I swallow hard and shake my head. Now isn’t the time for thinking. I have to concentrate. I’m not exactly experienced with this type of… activity.

With determination on my face, I stare at Dive’s orange undergarments. I can feel butterflies building in my stomach as I use two fingers to tug down the boy’s thin covering, baring his length to the word.

I feel slightly intimidated as I look at Dive’s full measure. He’d always been so casual and sensual when it came to pleasuring me. I can’t comprehend how it could be so simple going about such a task.

Then again, this is my first time… blowing somebody.

With a gently shake of my head, I take Dive’s length in my hands and gently begin to massage his erect unit. I can hear Dive gasp slightly as I begin stroking his piece, slowly and methodically, just as he’d always done with me.

Dive’s hands continue to massage my hair as I finally nod once more to myself and move in. I slowly move my tongue up Dive’s unit, starting at the base and slowly making my way to the tip. Dive’s pleasure-filled gasp greets me as I reach the top and pull away, licking my lips. The taste of the boy’s skin lingers in my mouth and I marvel at the unfamiliar taste for a moment before moving on.

Next, came the difficult part.

I swallow hard as I take the man’s erection in one of my hands and slowly begin to open my mouth. I close my eyes as my head moves closer and closer to the intimidating length, but am suddenly stopped as Dive’s hands tightly grip my hair. The older man pulls my head up forcefully and I growl in pain before looking up at Dive.

When I see the boy’s face, a cold shiver runs up my spine.

Dive is looking over me, towards the door to my room. My breathing begins to quicken as I see Dive’s wide eyes staring forward, and watch as his mouth moves slowly, “Uh… Jeice…”

With a feeling of fear in my chest, I turn around slowly towards my door. I stare forward like a deer in the headlight at the figure standing in the frame of my door. Wearing drooping pants and a slightly wrinkled flannel shirt, the old man’s eyes are just as wide as Dive’s. His cold eyes look the sight before him up and down before quickly averting his gaze and muttering something under his breath before retreating out of my room, slamming the door behind him.

My hands leave Dive’s unit to cover my mouth. I slide off of the other male and sit on the bed, my hands covering my mouth in shock as I mutter a nearly inaudible, “Fuck.”

Dive sits up quickly, pulling his underwear back on and begins to zip his pants once more, “Who the fuck was that?!” He shouts.

I groan and cover my face with my hands, “My grandfather. Fuck! I forgot he was staying here.”

“You forgot?!” Dive turns to me, but the look in his eyes is far from the fear and shock in mine. It’s more of an adventurous one. Deep down, I can’t help but think Dive is amused by this.

“God damn it.” I mutter quietly as I continue to cover my face with my hands, “God damn it, how could I forget?”

Dive shakes his head as he finishes clothing himself and sits back down.

I sigh and finally get to my feet. Without another word to Dive, I burst out of my door and run down the stairs before jogging into the living room. Just as I’d thought, my grandfather is sitting in the recliner, hunched over with his head resting in one of his hands. For a moment, I can’t help but marvel at just how much he resembles my father.

“Grandpa…?”

The old man doesn’t move. He’s simply staring forward, not looking at me. A look of shock and despair is in his eyes. This is just how I’d imagine my father would be reacting, moments before he’d disown me.

The feeling of fear and pain grows in my chest and I fight the urge to allow tears to run to my eyes. I cross my arms over my chest and step forward, “G-Grandpa, I… I didn’t…” Fuck, I have no idea what to say.

My grandfather finally shows signs of life as he moves, hunching over further so that his elbows are resting on his knees. His head shakes back and forth slowly before he stops and sigh, “Jeice…”

“Grandpa, it’s not… it’s not what you think…”

The old man shakes his head once more before speaking. His voice is hoarse but strong, just like my father’s. I can feel the bad feeling in my stomach grow.

“Jeice, I… I wanted to talk to you…” He began but his eyes never looked up to meet mine. The feeling of coldness I always seemed to get while in my house was very evident at this moment. “Jeice…” Finally, the old man lets out a deep sigh and once again covers his face with his hand.

“Grandpa, I-“

“I’m sorry, Jeice.” My grandfather finally blurts out and I stare forward in shock. He was… apologizing? With a little difficulty, the old man pushes himself to his feet and steps forward. His eyes were now staring straight at me, but they no longer resembled my father’s. Now they looked sad and distant, but still very bold.

“I’m sorry, Jeice.” The old man spoke once more before stopping and standing in front of me, “I’m sorry about everything.”

I blink strangely at the man that no longer resembled the cold, domineering person I’d always called my grandfather. Now he looked stooped and sad, and much more human.

“The way your father acts, the way your life is. I was coming up to… to apologize for everything. It wasn’t until I had that heart attack… that I nearly died that I realized everything. I raised your father just like he is raising you. I pressured him and forced him to be someone I wanted him to be. Never allowing him to be… truly happy. I was always cold, always distant. Affection wasn’t something I could show easily.”

The old man takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’d always treated people like that and it wasn’t until I nearly met my end that I realized that everything I’d put your father through, he was going to do to you. Jeice, you deserve to me truly happy. You deserve to have what you want and live your life by your standards. Not by the standards of your father. Not by the standards of your mother. Or by me. Or anyone else in your life. Jeice, you deserve to be happy.”

My grandfather sighs and rubs his eyes once more, “Years ago… I don’t know how I would have reacted to… what I just saw.” I feel coldness in my stomach once more and look away from my grandfather’s gaze, “But now… Now I only want you to be happy, Jeice. It’s too late for my own happiness, and possibly for the happiness of your father but you… there’s still time for you to be happy. If that… man can make you happy, Jeice… then you deserve it.”

I blink in confusion at the old man. Until now, my grandfather had always been cold and distant, nearly a direct replica of my father. Now, I can hardly recognize the sad old man that stood before me. Still, that couldn’t stop the tears that were coming to my eyes.

“Grandpa, I…”

“I’m not saying I understand everything, Jeice. All I know is that you deserve to be happy and if this is the route that leads you to that, then take it.”

I swallow hard and lean against the wall. I rub my eyes with my hand and shake my head, “I don’t know… I don’t know anything, Grandpa.”

I feel my grandfather reach forward and place a hand on my shoulder. His strong grip his reassuring and I look up into the knowledgeable eyes of the older man and I nod slowly.

“I don’t know what makes me happy…” I admit quietly, breaking the old man’s gaze and looking at the floor, “I don’t know anything…”

“Its fine, Jeice.” My grandfather continued, his grip on my shoulder loosening slightly, “Your secret is safe with me. Just do what you feel is right, my boy.”

I look up at the old man before me once more and can’t help but allow a smile to break out on my face. My resolve breaks a few tears finally slide down my cheeks. My grandfather sees this and smiles back before moving closer and wrapping both of his strong arms around me, embracing me with all his strength.

The feeling of another family member embracing me so tightly is foreign, almost strange to me. But the warmth in my gut feels so good that I return to gesture, wrapping my arms around the old man as he pats my back gently.

Finally, we break our embrace and the old man pats me on the shoulder once more, “Remember, your secret is safe with me. Just remember, do what you feel is right.”

I smile gently at my grandfather and nod, “Yeah, I got it. I’ll… figure it out… eventually.”

The older man nods before turning around and returning to his seat, “You might want to tell your… friend to leave soon though. Your father will be back shortly.”

I nod briskly before turning on my heel and rushing up the stairs. I step into my room and close the door behind me. Dive is sitting on my bed, looking through a few Polaroid pictures he’d apparently stumbled upon.

Dive smiles gently up at me as I re-enter, “Fun, fun?”

I roll my eyes and collapse onto the bed next to the male. I lay on my stomach and Dive gently pats the back of my head reassuringly. Do I look like a fucking dog to him?

“He said he won’t tell anyone.” I mumble quietly.

“That’s good.” Dive nods slowly as he continued to finger through the pictures, apparently not caring about my privacy, “I always did like old timers.”

I sigh as I look up and stare at the pictures he’d holding before blinking, “What’re you looking at?”

Dive’s slender shoulders shrug, “Some random pictures I found in your drawer.”

I choose not to ask Dive what he was doing looking through my drawer in the first place and instead look over his shoulder to stare at the picture. It’s a shot of me and Laney, taken probably a few months ago and some barbecue. I’m sitting on one side of the table with a hamburger in my hand, and Laney is lunging over the other side of the table, her teeth biting into my burger. I can still hear the people around us laughing as Laney hijacked my dinner. Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember why that girl’s my best friend.

“So, do you guys fuck?” Dive asks casually and I push him in aggravation.

“No.” I mutter as I roll my eyes, “We dated years ago, like in Junior High or something, but now she’s just my overly sexual best friend.”

Dive nods slowly as he continues flipping through the pictures. However, I quickly grab the Polaroid’s from his grasp and hold them out of his reach, “Look, my dad might be getting home soon so you’ve got to move.”

The older man chuckles and climbs to his feet, “If you say so.”

The nod and rise from the bed before brushing past Dive and leading him down the stairs. My grandfather is still in the living room and he waves awkwardly as he walk past and Dive stops in the doorway.

“We haven’t been formally introduced.” He chuckles and I groan in embarrassment, “The names Dive.”

My grandfather nods slowly but it’s evident that he’s very uncomfortable so I push Dive towards the door and open it quickly. Dive is laughing as he brushes past me and steps outside. As he steps out the door, he turns around and I know exactly what he’s expecting.

“I… I can’t. Not here.” I mutter before point outside at the number of houses lining the street. Dive blinks before looking back at me and nodding slowly. He stares at me for a moment before turning briskly on his heel and heading for his car.

I sigh as I watch him get into his car and pull out of my driveway. I don’t understand why it hurts so much to watch him go as it’s never really been hard to watch him leave before. I don’t realize why until I get to my room and once again collapse on my bed.

A deep sigh escapes my lips as I stare up at my ceiling and close my eyes, “That was the first time… we haven’t kissed before saying goodbye…”

To Be Continued…