my body moves and i don't know it.
i'm pushing forward toward some goal that is currently and constantly obscured,
due to too much sunlight in the eyes and not enough insight in my mind.
the weather changes violently around me.
and now i find myself, here, on this sidewalk, walking with absolutely no destination.
i don't mind it.
i don't mind much of anything lately.
the car alarms, the ambulances rushing down the alleys,
no, they don't bother me at all.
i used to be so on edge all of the time, so aware, so certain.
every detail mattered SO MUCH, and now, they don't matter at all.
i keep walking. i still don't know where i'm going.
sidewalk faces blur in my eyes.
sidewalk people blur out of mind.
i find a dry place under an awning and stand there for awhile.
this will do.
this will do just fine.

nobody will notice me, the sad, sullen girl, soaked to the bone
with a mind equally drenched with thoughts too heavy for one day.
a bicycle will pass perhaps, splash murky water on my good dress,
but i won't notice. how can i? i've forgotten how.