A/N: SO SORRY for not keeping you updated! I've found a solution to my dilemma. I decided to kind of add the storyline of It's New To Me into Step Outside. I deleted INTM, but if you read the first 2 chapters of it, I put some parts of it into this chapter! Enjoy, and hopefully I could update sooner! AND...there's a song in this chapter that I didn't write. It's better if you actually listen to it while you read it the lyrics. It's called Breathe by Taylor Swift.

Chapter 11

Change

Nine days. It’s been nine days and Ashley still hasn’t called to hang out. The transformation I was seeing in her seemed to become more and more apparent with each passing summer day.

Even though it was like I was invisible to some people, my best friend Ashley walked in my shadow ever since the first day I met her. It was flattering that I was actually “cool” enough for someone to want to be like me, but it got a little annoying. At first it was showing some interest in the same things as me. Next it was getting the same haircut and then it was like she was trying to talk like me! Of course I never said anything to her about it because I might’ve been just imagining it.

Was it just a coincidence that she was starting to find her self-esteem the same time I was? It was like she no longer relied on my encouraging words and for me pushing her to do the things she wanted. She didn’t have to be pushed anymore because she was finally discovering her confidence. With that, my confidence just sunk down lower. Nobody wanted to be like me anymore, so it was as if I wasn’t good enough now.

Along with that newfound confidence she has found a couple of new friends to talk to. They weren’t the “popular” kids, but they were more outgoing than the people we usually hung out with. It’s not like she completely ditched me, though. She sometimes invited me along with her and her new friends, but I always declined because I didn’t do too well with new people. It hurt me a little because it was only sometimes. We used to do everything together. I don’t think I’m the more outgoing one anymore. Not this summer at least.

Change. I’m not good with it, but it’s inevitable.

I kicked off my softball cleats and shook my hair loose from its ponytail. I was regretting not hanging out with Sasha from the softball team. She had asked me if I wanted to go with her and Layla to the icecream parlor, but I refused because I didn’t know them that well. I know I should start meeting new people, but it’s still hard for me. I hated the fact that it was so hard for me to open up to people, even when they made an effort to loosen me up.

With a sigh, I turned on my computer monitor with the hope that Youtube videos would entertain me.

The doorbell rang and I perked up, hoping it was someone significant…

A huge smile formed across my face when I saw the one person who seemed to be cheering me up a lot these days. “Hey kid,” Matt greeted with a half-wave. “I was gonna call, but…”

I shook my head. “No, it’s cool,” I reassured him. “I just got back from a game.”

“Yeah? Did you kick ass?” he asked as I let him inside.

“We lost,” I told him sheepishly. “Jake and Christine are at work so…” my voice trailed off. I doubt he wanted to stay without either of them being here.

“Well, I actually came because I think you accidentally gave this to me when you let me borrow Matt’s fire books,” he muttered sheepishly.

My eyes widened when I saw him holding out the black notebook and I immediately snatched it from him. “Shit!” I exclaimed, feeling myself blush as I prayed that he hadn’t opened it. I was actually more surprised than embarrassed at first. My lyric book always seemed to be by my side, but I guess I haven’t been writing a lot lately.

“Is it a lyric book? Did you write all those songs?” he questioned, his dark eyes innocent, which was totally not him.

Feeling myself turn a deep red, I narrowed my eyes and clutched the book closer to my chest defensively. “You read it?!” I exclaimed, flabbergasted. “It says private on the cover!” I pointed out in a huff.

He let out a chuckle. “Which is why I read it,” he explained with no shame. “Anything that says private on the cover has to be good!”

Oh great! Now he knows some of my deepest secrets—in lyrical form. I bet he thinks I’m a loser.

“Did you write all those?” Matt asked, nodding towards me as he looked down at my notebook.

“Maybe,” I mumbled in a hard tone, still angry with him. Hasn’t he ever heard of privacy??? Okay, I did read my sister’s diary a few times before, but still.

“Aw, don’t be embarrassed, kid! They’re good!”

My eyes shot up at him in surprise. He read it, so I was pissed, but he also complimented my writing, which sort of neutralized my feelings towards him right now. “You think they’re good?” I repeated in a small, meek voice that was filled with amazement.

He shook his head and those eyes told me that his answer was genuine. “There was this one song…” he continued as he looked up in thought. “I forget what it was called, but the lyrics were…I know he’s living in hell every single day. So I ask is there some way for me to take his place.”

Did he memorize that? I thought, bewildered. Nobody has ever read my song lyrics or complimented them. Not to mention memorize them.

Matt spoke before I could say anything. “Those lyrics were just…” he shook his head as if he were trying to find the right word to describe it. “It’s…solid.”

The corners of my lips twisted up from the simplicity of his words, but they still meant the world to me. “Thanks,” I said softly.

My eyes met his gaze once again and I knew that he had an idea on who that song was written about.

“Will you play it for me?” Matt questioned seriously all of a sudden.

That suggestion almost knocked the wind out of me. He was so full of surprises. “I-I can’t,” I stammered. “I’m not even done with it.” But there were more reasons why I couldn’t do it.

“You promised you would play me something,” he reminded me in a lighter tone. “Play me that song about Romeo and Juliet,” he suggested teasingly as he let out a laugh.

I blushed again. “I wrote that a long time ago!” I exclaimed defensively, trying to keep my voice hard.

He grinned crookedly, his eyes still having a hint of amusement. “I thought it was a kinda cute song,” he informed me with a joking nudge.

I rolled my eyes and bit my lip to keep from smiling. “Shut up.”

He laughed and took off his black blazer, revealing his plain white shirt that seemed to make his muscles look more defined. “Can I chill here and wait for you brother to come?”

“You mean wait for Christine?” I teased, trying not to stare too long at his beauty.

Matt’s smile never faded. “Hey, I would tell Jake about me and your sister, but she doesn’t want him to know yet,” he explained lightly.

“So you and Christine are…official?”

He shrugged. “Yeah,” he replied casually. I nodded slowly, not knowing how to feel about it. “So who’s the lucky guy?” he asked abruptly.

That question caught me off guard. “Huh?” I asked, completely dumbfounded.

“The guy you write a lot of those songs about,” he said, his eyes tinted jokingly with amusement.

“We’re still talking about my song book?” I grumbled.

Matt stared at me as he waited for my response. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “They’re based on different people,” I explained, not looking him directly in the eye.

“Not a lot of your songs are about heartbreak,” he observed casually. “Most chicks write about that sort of shit,” he muttered.

I smiled weakly, but it seemed almost sinister. “Heartbreak? Ha!” I exclaimed sarcastically in a dark tone. How the hell would my heart break if I didn’t even open up to anybody?

He chuckled in the same manner. “Consider yourself lucky, punk,” he murmured.

I looked up into those eyes and found it almost impossible to think that Matt could ever have his heart broken. He seemed too tough for something like that to break him.

It was only then that I realized that Matt was human. He wasn’t some sort of imaginary character like Edward Cullen, although he was so gorgeous that sometimes I think that he would disappear into a puff of smoke.

“At least you fell in love before to have your heart broken,” I muttered under my breath as I stared down at the carpet.

“Huh?”

Crap, did I say that out loud?! “Nothing,” I blurted out quickly.

The look in his eyes confirmed that he had heard what I said and I flushed a deeper shade of red. To my surprise, Matt just laughed it off. “Well, if it makes you feel better…one day, kid, you will have your heart broken,” he assured me with a sly grin.

I had to chuckle.

“And I’ll be the second one in line to kick the guys ass,” he said with a mischievous, but proud grin.

My eyebrow raised. “Second one?” I repeated.

“Your brother would be the first one,” he replied.

I laughed out loud sarcastically. “Yeah, I doubt that, man,” I mumbled. The thought of Jake actually defending me was almost comical.

Matt’s eyes grew thoughtful. “You don’t know that,” he told me in a soft voice. Those eyes were looked into mine in a way I wasn’t quite familiar with. He was looking at me as if I actually mattered. At least to him. And I was more than happy about that.

He turned to the living room’s I-pod stereo and shot me a questionable look. “Is this your I-pod?” I nodded. “Let’s see what you were listening to…”

He pressed play on the stereo and Crash Into Me started play from the middle of the first verse. “Dave Matthews Band,” he mumbled looking back at me.

I nodded as I bit my lip. “Uh, yeah,” I said, not knowing what other way to respond. Actually, I was slightly surprised that he was familiar with Dave Matthews Band.

“That’s cool,” he commented as he changed it to the next song. It was the acoustic version of She is Love by Parachute VA. It was a rather lovely song. “Do you know how to play this?”

I smiled. “Still trying to get me to play something?” I questioned lightly.

That grinned appeared on his face once again and it made my heart stop. “You know if you’re good at something, you shouldn’t pussy out on it,” he told me half-jokingly.

That advice sounded familiar to me, then I realized that it had come out of my own mouth before. Of course, not exactly how he said it. “I’m not!” I argued.

“Prove it.”

Next thing you know my guitar was in my hand and Matt waited patiently in front of me to strum my first chord.

I looked up at him, still blushing and his dark eyes seemed eager, but encouraging. “Go for it, kid.”

“I’m thinking about what song I should sing,” I muttered in thought. I had these lyrics in my head for awhile and I had a little idea of what chords I wanted to use for it.

“It’s a song I’m working on,” I finally decided. “I’m not done with it, though,” I explained.

Matt nodded and I took a deep breath as I put the capo on the sixth fret. I strummed a couple of G chords softly and began to sing, my voice timid and soft.

I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

I didn’t dare look up to see Matt’s expression. It was better pretending that he wasn’t there. It made me sing a little louder.

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

To my surprise, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I never let them fall.

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

It was quiet long after I had strummed the very last chord. When I finally looked back up at Matt his expression was unreadable.

“Wow,” he breathed in a quiet tone.

I blushed once again. What else is new? “Yeah, I know. It needs some work…”

“No,” he interrupted as he shook his head. “No, it was solid, kid!” he exclaimed. “It was great.”

I could see that he wasn’t lying. My heart just about fluttered. “Really? Thanks,” I whispered shyly. At that point, I knew was in love with Matt. There was definitely more to him than he put out. It was a nice change.

“Who’s it about?” he asked curiously.

I looked down; her face was in my mind throughout the whole time I was playing. “My best friend,” I answered in a soft, melancholy tone.

A/N: I did not write or do not own Taylor Swift or Breathe. PLEASE REVIEW! I know I've been gone awhile, but reviews keep me motivated!

Thoughts on the whole Ashley situation?