She has started looking at him again

The years, and the boyfriends, and the heartbreak in between seem silly

She had almost forgotten the way she used to feel about him

The shy little girl she used to be

Her high school years have finally come to a full circle

Starting and ending with him

Only this time they are almost best friends

This time she can make him laugh that laugh of his that she adores

This time she has gotten close enough to see the freckles on his shoulders

And yet he still teases her

He still is the one in control

He still doesn’t see the same thing in her that she sees in him

She reads the poems she has written about him one more time

And the feelings she used to have flow through her again

It is so easy to get lost in the past

To remember the person she used to be

And the person he used to be to her

When she idealized him

When he was a complete mystery to her

When she loved him with all the innocence and naivety she had

Now her feelings for him are more complicated than that

Now she feels like she needs to hide from them

Now she can’t just shout her feelings from the rooftops

Or tell all of her friends, who are also his friends

She denies her feelings for him on a daily basis

And only when they are the last ones awake,

Or when they are the only two people in the kitchen at work,

Does she let herself be relaxed around him

She just enjoys being with him

She doesn’t worry if other people can see that she likes him

It’s only him, and she wants him to know

These are the times that they laugh the loudest

And have the conversations she enjoys the most

When she isn’t hiding from anyone

And he isn’t trying to impress anyone

And they just get along