Oh, a spade’s a spade, and the sky is blue

And you’re so beautiful when you look at me that way

In Alaska it rains two-hundred sixty days each year

In the Middle East there’s people fightin’ all the time.

I once met a man who said religion was a sham

And another man who looked just like Bruce Lee

And I love you, baby, more than money or violence

And baby everything tastes better with gravy.

Haley’s Comet comes around maybe once in your whole lifetime

There’s no two snowflakes ever made that are the same

You got a ring on your finger, cuz I put it there

Baby it’s a long way from here to Nantucket.

I’d like to beat a man to within an inch of his life

Then bust out in a big ol’ clarinet solo

And I love you, baby, more than I love sayin’ ‘Nantucket’

Hydrogen bombs can kill a whole lotta people.

Got two birds in my hand, cuz I dove into that bush,

Got a fire in my heart that’ll never die

Cuz you’ve got that sparkle, and a really cool tatoo

“Family Guy” is such a funny freakin’ show.

Water has a freezing point of eighty-one degrees

A lotta people don’t know it, man, but dinosaurs aren’t extinct

And I love you, baby, like gay guys love gay stuff

NASCAR’s boring, I don’t care what anybody says.

In China they got somethin’ like ten billion people

In Australia everybody walks upside down

The stars are my eye-holes; they’re all starin’ at you

Everything finite is a figment of our imagination.

If pirates ever fought ninjas, them ninjas better watch out

Man, I wish I had a cousin in Nantucket

And I love you, baby, like a killer in the closet

Outer space is made of honeycomb and whiskey.

And I love you, baby, and I’m gonna till I die

And there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it anyhow.