Biting The Spoon

Biting The Spoon

She used to be my best friend

Someone I could trust and tell secrets to. Someone I knew would never leave my side and I would have with me forever.

But then the “stress” became too much

The stress changed her into someone else. A person I didn’t recognize at first.

And she started to change

Though is change really the way to describe what she did? No. I believe she started to show her true colors.

Friendship became not enough

I gave her my heart and trust on a silver platter. She might as well have just spit on it.

So she resorted to cutting herself

Not only cutting, but counting them too. 97 times I think is what she announced with a cheery smile.

I tried so hard to help her

The spit splattered platter was back and now it was telling me she didn’t mean it. I was so hopeful that the person I knew was still there.

And for a while I thought I may have

She had stopped cutting after many weeks of me and others trying. My silver platter was back in her hands again, shining with new hope.

But then she started smoking

I finally cried after almost a year of dry eyes when I found out. We’re only 13 after all and I wasn’t at all ready to deal with it.

In the end she chose us, her friends

That made it alright, right? She quit for me and the others so everything was right and the platter was within her grasp again.

Then summer came

It was like a drama free vacation that I hadn’t known how badly was needed until my head stopped hurting. All the while I was hoping she’d be the same girl I left in 7th grade.

Now we were at the top

School started, we’re 8th graders, and she’s still the same. I was simply too blinded to see beyond the facade.

But I feel like I’m drowning

My friends told me she is smoking weed now. Should I help her? Is she really worth the sleepless nights after everything she’s done?

She just kept lying

It hurt to hear her flat out lie to me, claiming she wasn’t. That she never had and she would have told me is she was. I heard differently from people who saw her.

So, I threw down the platter

Why should I keep trying to save her when she’s never acknowledged all of my efforts? She’s only loud and obnoxious and someone I didn’t want to be friends with anymore.

And we were no more

It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Losing her as a friend that is. In fact, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders.

She used to be my best friend

That platter is broken now. Within its shattered pieces is the troubling past of our “friendship”.

. . . .

She did most of it for attention, all the while never taking in any of the help I gave.

. . . .

I won’t deal with it anymore. She’s no longer my problem and I’m finally happy after a miserable year.

What an idiot I had been

. . . .

Letting her in is a mistake I won’t make again.

oo-oo-oo-oo-oo

So I had considered leaving this blank, but I felt like I should say something. Yes, this is based off of my real life and someone I used to call a friend if you wanted to know if I’m just making this up or not. I was actually really troubled and almost haunted by the things she used to do, so writing this has lifted a huge weight off of my heart.

Kattie