It

It followed him everywhere. No matter what she said, it would never go away.

He had tried of course, many times, but he always failed. Even when he was so sure of success, it all came crashing down.

It was his fault really, and he knew it. That’s why when it didn’t go away, when it continued to follow him around, he didn’t complain too much. It had taken the both of them after all. He guessed it was just his time to pay for his mistake.

He could remember even now, crystal clear in his mind like the memory had been painted and stuck in front of his eyes for him to stare at forever. He doubted the memory would never go away. Just like it would never go away.

What could he do? He had done everything he had thought of and everything she had thought of. It seemed that she was even less keen to think about it, to have it around them all the time, and he was surprised but grateful. He didn’t need even more guilt to weigh him down.

Everyone had abandoned him.

It was sad sometimes, lonely, even with her around. She tried her hardest to keep him happy, but she got on his nerves. He often thought about telling her to go away, but then realised he would be on his own, and he didn’t want that.

He carried on with his life, quite simply. As long as he didn’t think about it, he was fine. People greeted him in the corridors, but their smiles were fake; colleagues talked to him at lunch, but with a bitter taste in their mouths. They all knew. He hadn’t told them, but they all knew.

Often he thought that maybe he was doing something wrong, that he shouldn’t feel like this, but he couldn’t change the way he was. Even though he had helped, it wasn’t his fault he felt like that. He hadn’t asked for it. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Even she didn’t want it to happen, and she didn’t definitely didn’t want it to.

But that was hardly surprising.

The way people looked at him sometimes! Like he had committed a crime or something worse. It was unfair, ridiculous, and he felt like shouting at them all, telling them all to grow up. If they thought he was doing such a bad job, maybe they should come and help, give him some suggestions, better yet, take it off his hands.

He didn’t want it around.

Couldn’t they see how hard this was for him? To put up with this burden? One that should have been taken off his hands, one that should never have been put in his hands in the first place.

Everything had been so good as well. Everything. Good job, good house, good girlfriend, good life. No worries. Nothing. Once he had finished his work, gotten enough money, he had wanted to settle down, start a family, that sort of thing. But now he couldn’t.

There was only one option left.

That night, he kissed her goodbye on the cheek; she smiled happily, leaning back into the sofa to watch something on the television. She was so proud.

It was dark outside, raining. Thunder was rumbling lazily in the background, lightning jumping to the earth in a fright. His car slid down the roads.

It didn’t take long to get to his destination, and he climbed out of the car with ease, feeling a heavy weight being lifted off his shoulders. There were others here, under the bridge, watching him, frowning, scowling. It was like they knew.

But how dare they judge him? He didn’t ask for this, he never wanted this. This was her fault, not his. She shouldn’t have given it to him.

As he drove away, back to his home, he glanced back in his mirror, just once. He didn’t know why, but he did. He wanted to shiver, and his fingers fidgeted against the dials to turn up the heat in the car. He couldn’t look away as he drove off to his home three miles away. A mile for every year. But he had finally gotten rid of it.

The little girl stared back.