And How I Ran

Written By; CompulsiveLiar

When I got up, it was raining.

I opened my eyes and didn't really believe anything. My head went blank for a little while, and all I did was stare at the ceiling and wait. I wasn't sure what I was waiting for. Maybe for the sun to come out. But waiting for the sun on a rainy day is like waiting to die: it just won't happen until you decide not to wait.

The rain pooled down the windows of the bedroom and streaked the panes. The sky was gray. I didn't know why, since my idea of California's summers was one with nothing but heat and sunshine. Although I'm sure that the heat was still present, the sunshine was nowhere to be found. A sigh pried itself from my lips as I rolled onto my side, getting curled up in the blankets. They were warm, and had formed small beads of sweat down my spine overnight. The room was a stagnant kind of hot. It was stale and it beat me through the bed covers.

I need to get up, I thought. I wonder what time it is.

There was really no telling what time it was, since everything seemed to run together. That morning dripped slowly.

Before I forced myself to get out of bed and walk downstairs, I was sad. Already, it seemed that last night's events had taken effect. How quickly things can be ruined. I wanted everyone to like me; I didn't want them to talk about me behind my back like Jaime had.

As I rounded the corner, turning into the kitchen, two pairs of eyes landed on me.

"Oh, Opal," Aunt Cindy said. She looked up over the newspaper she was reading through. She was still in her robe. "Good morning, sweetie."

"Good morning," I told her.

"Sleep well?" Gerard asked, getting up from his chair. He started toward the stove, glancing over his shoulder at me once.

"It was very hot," I said. But, I tried to be polite about it. "But it's better than back home."

That didn't sound as nice as it did in my head, I thought sourly.

"Well, that's good," Aunt Cindy said, going back to reading her paper. "I'll try and find you a fan for your room so tonight will be more comfortable." She smiled to herself, and at this, I smiled a little too. I forgot that I didn't feel like smiling and did it anyway. "Gerard, would you mind getting Opal some breakfast?"

"I was just about to," he said, getting a plate down out of the cupboard above the counter. "Are pancakes okay, Opal?"

"Yes," I answered, "thanks."

I sat down at the table, taking Gerard's old seat. I don't think he minded, since he was already up and I still had to eat breakfast. I watched as he carefully flipped two pancakes from the burner to the plate beside it, and then as he poured syrup all around the flapjacks.

"Yummy, thanks," I said as he set them down in front of me. I stared at him until he remembered that I couldn't eat without a fork.

"Oh, sorry," he said, "hold on a second."

'Hold on' to what? I thought.

I was trying to make today a happier day. The previous night still held its place in the back of my head, and I wasn't quite sure if I'd ever be completely rid of those harsh memories, no matter how long they remained. But, hopefully, I'd be able to live with them and smile.

I decided to smile.

"Thank you," I said again as he held a fork out to me. I took it gladly and began to munch on my pancakes.

"So, Opal," Aunt Cindy started once again, her voice rather loud above the sound of me eating. "Is there anything you want me to pick up for you while I'm out?"

I shook my head. "No, a fan is just fine."

Gerard sat down to the right of his aunt, sighing. "There's a couple things she needs, actually."

Of course, I thought. He always knows what's best. Gerard always knows when I need things. He knows when to help me. Gerard will always help me.

"Like what?"

He scratched the back of his neck, looking away. "Well, maybe a few pairs of clothes? A pair of her own pajamas, so she doesn't have to wear yours all the time."

"I can do that," Aunt Cindy told him kindly. "Sorry, I didn't even think about that; must have just slipped my mind." She paused for a moment, taking her time to think something over as quickly as she could, though I could tell she thought her fastest wasn't quick enough. This resulted in her getting flustered; her eyebrows scrunched together and her forehead wrinkled and creased itself in four horizontal lines.

"Do you two know how long you will be staying for?" she finally asked. "Don never told me what your answer was."

After she'd said it, I knew that what Gerard was feeling defeated; I felt it, too. I couldn't leave, because I had nowhere else to go. Gerard could go back home, but I couldn't. Would he leave me?

Of course not, I thought, he wouldn't do that to you. He wouldn't leave you. He will always be there for you, no matter what. He can't leave.

Gerard shook his head. "Sorry, we don't."

Unexpectedly, she smiled. "I'm so glad that you two came out here. You can stay as long as you like, I don't have a problem with it. I'm just glad that you're alright." She smiled at her neice, then at me. "I'm glad both of you are alright."

"Thank you," I blurted suddenly.

She smiled brighter. "You're welcome, Opal."

Gerard ran a hand through his hair; Stress. My mind supplied the word for what he felt. I wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him somehow. But I knew that I was probably the last person he wanted to see for help with his feelings.

Aunt Cindy stood up from the table and placed a consoling hand on Gerard's shoulder. "It'll be okay. Try not to worry."

He nodded shortly. "Alright."

Would he worry anyway? Probably. I knew him too well to believe what he had told Aunt Cindy, and I was sad that he had to lie to her. But did he want her to worry about him? Of course not.

I realized then why it was that Gerard told lies.

To keep us safe.

Once Aunt Cindy had gathered her things up and bid us farewell, I sighed long and deep. I could hear the car pulling out of the driveway, and then pulling out toward the street. I heard it drive away. I finished my pancakes and rested the fork and knife on the plate, both covered in gooey, maple syrup. My lips were sticky, and I licked them thoroughly, trying to cleanse them of their endeavors.

"Here," Gerard said, taking my plate to the sink and rinsing it off before emptying it into the dishwasher.

"Thanks," I murmured quietly.

The whole house was quiet, save for Gerard and his cleaning up after me. I glanced about, wondering where Uncle Don and Jaime had gone off to. So I had to ask.

"Gerard," I began, "where have they all gone?"

He knew to whom I referred, and yet he stayed quiet. Maybe he just didn't like hearing the name "Jaime" after last night. I know that it was hard for me to even say it, but hearing myself speaking it was easier than I had expected it to be.

"Don's at work," he answered, "and Jaime is out. I don't know where he's at, and to be honest, I don't really care." He said this as boredly as he could, but I knew him better. His blood was probably boiling under his deeply-tanned skin. "No idea when either of them will be back, but I'm assuming they'll both be here by dinner."

Nodding, I took note of the rain streaming down the window panes, and how- although, it was faint and in the far-off distance- the sunshine blazing through the clouds.

"Today is such a sad day," I stated blandly. "It makes me want to cry." And suddenly, I really did want to. My eyelids burned and I broke out in a shiver.

"Hey," Gerard called out to me.

I looked up at him.

"Please," he sighed. He'd stopped filling the dishwasher, standing up straight and staring right at me. Staring through me. It made me bite my lip and hold my tongue. "No more crying."

So I just didn't. I held it in me and tried for the life of me to just do what he said. I focused all of myself on just trying to do what he asked of me. I focused so hard my head started to hurt; after that, my sudden headache was all I could think about.

"Ouch," I muttered, "stop hurting, head."

"Want some aspirin?" he asked, pulling open what I assumed to be the medicine drawer.

"Yes, please."

He ran me a glass of water and handed me two small orange pills. I gave him my thanks and took a huge mouthful of water, plopping the pills into my mouth in a flash and downing the whole thing in a second. I closed my eyes and just tried to make peace with myself. It was still hard.

Gerard's hand was suddenly on my shoulder. "Is there anything you want to do today?"

I shook my head. "No, not today. It looks horrible outside. Will tomorrow be sunny?"

"Probably."

A tired smile spread across my lips. "I'm glad." It did my heart good hearing that hope would follow on, despite the rain.

He sighed. I could feel it in the way his hand felt; it was insecurity. It was uneasy.

"I'm so sorry," he told me.

I sighed too. I felt my whole body turn into mush, like my feet were going to fall off and my stomach was going to come out my throat. But I didn't let him see that. I had to be strong, like he always had been for me. I had to show him that I could hold myself up.

After last night, I knew that sometime or other, I would have to.

I put my hand on top of his.

"Yeah," I said. "I'll be okay. It will be okay."

And do you know what?

I looked right up at him and smiled.

It will finally be okay.