10 August 2008

The Origin of the Animal Cracker

In the wonderfully corporate world of modern times, we still remain to have one sweet treasure, the Animal Cracker. The Animal Cracker is a sweet cracker that you do not put cheese on, but enjoy with a glass of milk. Many people believe that it comes from a factory of workers that watch as the delectable treats pass from machine to machine, until it is finally boxed. This is not where the Animal Cracker comes from. The true birthplace of the Animal Cracker is much darker and morose then the factory setting. The cracker is from the ground, our Mother Earth. It is a single step in the great circle of life.

During the course of the year, many new animals are introduced to the world, ranging from calves to cubs to joeys. As the light of day fills their spirits they begin to grow into the greatest animals in the kingdom. Lions, tigers and bears grow to become the strongest. The giraffes, gazelles and foxes are the most graceful. The monkeys, owls and elephants have grown to be the wisest of the animal kingdom. With all these animals constantly entering into the part of the cycle called life, the older animals must leave this part to make room.

Mother Earth contemplated what to do about the overpopulating of the animals on her surface. She tried to see if letting humans hunt would help to maintain a steady population, but the humans almost drove the species to eternal death. She tried attracting occasional meteors, but that, unfortunately, killed every single species on the earth. After trying a drastic weather change of the globe, she was almost ready to give up.

One day while Mother Earth was contemplating her severe problem; she walked upon a playground. On the playground sat many of God's children, all laughing and playing games of imagination. She noticed a small girl that watched the bigger kids play and reached out to her. The girl smiled at the Mother Earth, not knowing who she was. She stumbled over to the goddess, and said hello. The goddess talked with the girl, about humans, about the big kids, and about the animals that the little girl loved. As the sun began to slow seep into the horizon, the little girl reached into her pocket and pulled out a cookie. Her mother had made it, so it wasn't too sweet, the girl explained. She offered the treat to the goddess, who took it gratefully before saying goodbye to the little girl.

As she continued on her thoughtful path, she nibbled on the treat. Watching the birds dance as they retired to their nest, an idea provoked the goddess. What if she could turn the elder animals into cookies for the little children of God to enjoy?

She hurried to a nearby cave to try out her new theory on a dead fox nearby. As the animal grew smaller in size and sweet in taste, Mother Earth knew her plan was fool proof, because she could regulate the population and return a gift to the children that resided on the surface. After she finished turning the fox into a cookie, she tried it. It was the sweetest, buttery taste she had ever tried. She knew God would be pleased with this gift to the children. Mother Earth then hurriedly began to turn all the dead animals of the world into cookies, placing each into boxes to be sent into the masses for the enjoyment of the young people of Mother Earth's terrain.