Chapter 6

Unintentional

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The other the end of the line was deadly silent for a moment, then another.

“Camryn!”

“Don’t yell at me!” she sobbed. “Please!”

I hadn’t realized I was yelling. I was so completely out of my mind with fear and anguish that I had no control. Breathe in…Breathe out….Take it easy, Cipriani…Just gotta breathe in…breathe out. After some more self consoling, I tried speaking again.

“Camryn…Is Mollie okay? Are you okay?” I’d managed to soften my tone, although I really wasn’t feeling any calmer.

“We’re in the hospital,” she said so softly I had to strain to hear her. My heart was in my throat, and I was so close to vomiting I had to roll down the window as a precautionary measure.

“….Wh-what’s going on? Oh Christ,” I whispered, “What happened?”

“She’s okay,” she said, and I laid my head against the steering wheel, momentarily afraid that I would black out.

Breathe in. Breathe out… breathe in…breath ouuuut. I reminded myself. Gotta keep it together, Mollie needs you. Breathe, Cipriani.

“So…what’s she doing at the hospital?”

“She was running… She slipped on the wet cement. C-cut her leg. Needs stitches. God, Nick, she was so scared. Everyone was so scared. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I said softly. “It’s not your fault.”

I started the car up and headed toward the hospital, speaking soothingly to Camryn the whole way. It would have been foolish to blame her. She was only trying to make it a fun day for Mollie. I sighed heavily, I knew I needed to get off the phone with Camryn, call Lacie and tell her what was going on. I just needed Mollie to myself for a few minutes. Being awfully selfish, Cipriani. I simply couldn’t deal with Lacie’s emotions on top of my own. She would freak out, not in the quiet, self-loathing way I had. She would lash out, at me, at Camryn. Everyone within her line of vision at the time. I wasn’t like that. I blamed myself and…and God. I hung up with Camryn as I looked for a parking spot at the ER. Not surprisingly, it was busy. The town was hardly big enough for the place to ever be packed and the technology was anything but state of the art. I didn’t doubt those seriously injured had been air lifted to Columbia to be treated at the university hospital. Instead of dialing Lacie’s number when I got out of the car, I dialed Parker’s.

“Nick! I told you to stay at the damned department!”

“I got a call from Camryn,” I told him. “She’s okay. She’s in the ER getting stitches, but she’s all right.”

I heard Park’s sigh of relief. “I’ve never been so fuckin’ scared. Three dead so far, Niccolo. Lots more are…they’re close.”

“Do ya know anything about who did it?” Because when I found out I was gonna put a bullet through his fucking skull.

“There’s a kid missing. Shane Cramer. His mother thinks maybe his father has something to do with it.”

“If he just wanted Shane…why hurt all those kids? I don’t get it, Park. Shane’s a nice kid, in Mollie’s class…I just don’t…” my voice trailed off.

“It doesn’t make sense, I know, Nick. We’ll get ‘im. We’ll get Shane back. It’ll be all right, buddy, I promise you.” He didn’t sound too sure, but I knew it was hard to be. We weren’t equipped to handle this sort of thing.

“I…I should let you go, I gotta go see Moll,” I said.

“Yeah. All right. If there’s anything you need, Nicky, just call.”

“There is one thing…” I mumbled.

“What’s that?”

“Call Lacie for me?”

“You should do that, Niccolo. She needs to hear it from you.”

“I can’t,” I insisted. “I’m too messed up right now. I can’t deal with a freak out. Please, Parker…Please?” I was begging, and it was pathetic, but I just needed this one favor.

“I’ll call Lacie,” he said and hung up.

I walked into the emergency room on unsteady legs. Camryn was sitting in a chair, holding Mollie on her lap and applying pressure to her bleeding leg. My eyes instantly flooded with tears when I saw my baby, her face red from crying…At least she was in one piece. She finally met my eyes and struggled against Camryn.

“Daddy!” she sobbed. “Lemme go! Lemme go!”

“Mollie stay!” I said gently but with enough firmness for her to listen to me. I hurried across the waiting room to her. I took her carefully from Camryn and held her close, making sure to keep one hand over her cut.

“I’m sorry, angel,” I whispered, all but collapsing into a hard, unforgiving waiting room chair. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner.” I kissed her hair and rocked her gently.

“Are you okay?” I asked, looking over at Camryn after a minute.

“Yeah,” she said, sounding a little numb. “I’m fine… I’m so sorry, Officer Cipriani.”

“You know it wasn’t your fault, Cammi,” I said softly. I felt like there was an elephant parked on my chest. I could barely breathe. It was the relief mixed with the bitter heartache that my little girl had witnessed such a thing.

“Daddy…?” Mollie asked quietly.

“Yes Smalls?”

“How come Shane’s daddy did that?”

“How do you know it was Shane’s daddy?” I asked, ignoring her question mostly because I had absolutely no answer for it.

“’Cause he used to come help with class sometimes like you did…but then Shane’s mama and daddy got ‘vorced.”

“He said if he couldn’t have his child no one could have theirs’,” Cam whispered. “Mollie was swimming right next to that boy…”

“Probably what saved her,” I murmured, still rocking. It was perhaps more soothing to me than it was to her. “He didn’t wanna hurt his son.”

“He… he hurt so many other people…”

“We’ll talk about it later, Camryn,” I said, not wanting to bring it up around Mollie any more than necessary.

Thirty minutes later, Mollie was all stitched up and Lacie was holding her, sobbing hysterically. She’d been doing so for the past ten minutes, and Mollie was starting to get restless. I couldn’t blame my fiancée, though, I felt like doing the same. It just didn’t seem like the manly cop thing to do.

I rubbed Lacie’s back and tried to calm her. I knew her emotions were only upsetting our daughter more.

“It’s okay, Lace. It’s all right.” I kissed the top of her head. “Everything is okay now.”

“I’m taking Mollie home,” she sniffled. “Are you coming?”

“I’ll be along after a little while,” I promised. We’d sent Camryn home with her mother, so I didn’t have to worry about her transportation, but I needed to check in at the department to see if there was anything I could do to help Shane.

“You’re really going back to work!?”

“Lacie, I’m a cop, it’s what I do. Mollie’s fine, just shaken up. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

I knew Parker would send me home, but I had to at least stop by. If something like this had happened to Mollie I’d want every cop in town searching for her. I was certain Shane’s mother felt the same way.

I took Mollie from Lacie and held her close.

“Mama’s gonna take you home now,” I whispered, but she had fallen fast asleep. “I’ll be with ya as soon as I can.”

I stared at her for a minute. God, I loved her so damned much. I kissed her cheek.

“Ti amo, baby,” I handed her back to Lacie reluctantly.

“Niccolo, I hate this,” she whispered, clutching our daughter to her.

“Hate what?”

“You being a cop,” she told me. “Our daughter could’ve been dead and you’re going to work.” She drew in a deep breath. “Nick, we’re having another baby and you’re too in love with your fuckin’ job to love your family.”

“…Another baby!?” I choked out. “Lacie…I thought we agreed not to have any more kids ‘til we were married.”

“Well, obviously this was unintentional.”

“You were on the pill, weren’t you?”

She nodded. “Guess that didn’t really work.” Her eyes flooded with tears. “Please don’t be angry with me, this is upsetting enough.”

I sighed heavily. “We can’t afford another kid. We’re having enough trouble with one.”

“If your brothers would help out with your mom, even a little—”

“Lacie, I’m the only one that can. They’ve all got at least three kids…it’s harder for ‘em than it is for us.”

“So what’re you saying, Niccolo? That you don’t want me to keep this baby?”

“Fuck,” I grumbled. “We’ll talk about it later. I… I just can’t right now.” I kissed her cheek. “Ti amo.”

Parker was back at the PD when I arrived. When I walked into his office he looked at me like I was out of my mind.

“What in the hell are you doing here, Nick?”

“I wanted to see if there was anything I could do.”

“Yeah, go home! Be with your family. Be damn grateful you still have one, because some people aren’t so lucky.”

“I just… want to help…if this was Mollie—”

“It’s not. Nick, go be with your daughter, she needs you. I’ve got everything under control.”

“Okay,” I murmured. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m positive. I’ll stop by tonight if things settle down.” He crossed the room and laid a hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“Uh huh….Y-yeah,” I whispered, then I collapsed against him and burst into tears. It wasn’t soft, delicate crying, it was full-blown, body racking, snot all over the place, sobbing. I cried for Mollie and Camryn and all those other kids at the pool. I cried for the families that would have an empty place at the dinner table from now on. I cried for Shane, his mother… I just couldn’t stop finding reasons to cry. He held me in a fatherly embrace until I calmed down enough to support myself. It felt like hours we stood there in the middle of his office, but I needed it so badly. I couldn’t do this in front of my family. I had to be tough, brave. But I’d really, really needed a good cry.

“I was so… so scared. I’ve never felt quite like that before.”

“It’s okay, Nick. You had every reason to be scared. You’re still a kid, buddy, and being afraid isn’t anything to be ashamed of.”

“Yessir,” I said softly, drying my eyes. “God…don’t remember the last time I cried like that.”

“Glad you did. You look a little less freaked out.”

“Oh!” I said suddenly. “Mollie said it was Shane’s father for sure. She remembers him from when he volunteered in her class.”

“As we figured. Good to know for sure. Tell Moll she really helped out, and go home.”

I grabbed a cigarette from Parker before leaving the police department. I smoke it on the way home, trying desperately to get my head on straight. Part of me didn’t want to go home, as fucked up as that was. I wanted to see my daughter, of course, but the stress was getting to me, and I wondered if I’d be more unpleasant than comforting.

Mollie was sleeping soundly on the couch when I walked in. I was glad she was able to sleep, I knew I wouldn’t be. I found Lacie in our bed, crying her eyes out.

“Babe?” I asked carefully. “What’s wrong?”

“This is a disaster! You don’t want this baby and Mollie’s a nervous wreck and…” her voice trailed off and she cried harder.

“I want the baby,” I said reassuringly, taking off my old, ratty sneakers and getting into bed beside her and gathering her in my arms.

“You d-do?”

I nodded. “Yeah. The idea just took a little getting used to. We’ll make it work. Baby can sleep in our room ‘til we get a bigger place. It’ll all work out.” I kissed her with measured passion. “It’ll be okay.”

We brought Mollie into our room so we could rest easier. When Lacie drifted off I just stared at my family for a couple of minutes that felt like hours. You are one lucky sonofabitch, Cipriani. I was surprised, and thankful, that they looked so peaceful, despite the traumatic day.

I didn’t remember falling asleep, but my cell phone roused me at eleven o’clock. I left the room so as to avoid disturbing the girls.

“Hey,” I answered, it was Parker.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he said apologetically.

“No, no. It’s all right,” I insisted. “Anything new?”

I heard him light up a cigarette. “’Fraid not.”

“Call off the search for the night?”

“Had to. We searched the whole damn county twice over. We contacted law enforcement all over the state. The guys are bone weary and I had to send ‘em home.”

“You gonna come by here? Have a beer or something? You’ve had a long day, buddy.” I said, hating how pitiful my voice sounded. “I…could really use a friend right now.”

“I gotta stop by and talk to Shane’s mother, then I’ll be over. Hang in there, Nicky.”

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