Lost

I don't know who I am.

One moment things are clear and then wham!

Gone in a flash.

I try to make a wish on a fallen lash

but it doesn't come true.

I'm not who

I used to be.

I simply can't see

how I've changed so drastically.

Things changed in the summer hear.

After my abysmal defeat

I was in an impenetrable shell

but then the three of you rang a bell.

You pulled me out of the dark

and pieced together my heart.

The drowning began to cease,

slowly at least.

The obsession began to slow,

my hated foe.

Like all good things,

it gave me wings.

The freedom to fly

up to the sky.

The world was mine.

Of course the summer had to end.

Texts and facebook messages we would send.

School was in session

and my friends had taught me a lesson:

Be yourself and it will all work out

and yes without a doubt

I made new friends.

This new me was great

and it lasted until a certain date.

November Fourth.

I had a fling with this guy

and my life became a lie.

His girlfriend couldn't know

and the immeasurable guilt pulled me so low.

In Hillary I confided

how I was slowly dying.

That experience made me change

and then life slipped out of my range.

The obsession came back

in a vicious attack.

In him I had lost myself.

Now I can't see clear.

I don't recognize the face in the mirror.

She smiles back at me

but that simply can't be

who I've become.

I'm lost, stumbling, groping

and all the time hoping

for someone to rescue me

from my own personal darkness.