The grief comes in waves.

In lab today we studied,

the structure of the heart.

I’d been waiting for this for weeks.

Left ventricle, right ventricle,

aortic bicuspid and tricuspid valves.

All of a sudden I’m wakefully dreaming.

I’m lying in your bed with my body wrapped tightly around yours, and my ear pressed against your chest.

Thump-click-thump, thump-click-thump, I’m fascinated by the malfunction of your heart.

Two valves where there should be three, extra blood escaping into your veins.

I feel like I could stay there forever.

The girl next to me coughs.

She’s staring at me.

Everyone’s staring at me.

I’m now aware of the tears rolling down my cheeks,

for the first time in five days.

I can’t stop,

so I leave.