he drives fast in cars
stays up late
and doesn't tell anyone
that's he's not what he used to be.
at night, alone, he
thinks about death, thinks it might be nice
to have no expectations, to not be
such a fuck-up.
to just die.
who would want to listen to him whine, though?
so he keeps quiet, keeps
laughing, dicks around with his friends
smokes pot and goes to the imax
sleeps with girls
so he's not alone.
it doesn't help much.
but he thinks he can pull himself out of it.
he fucking should be able to
if he's not a freak
if he's a man
if he's worth it.