I Hate My Roommate!

Chapter 1

Art was my one and only passion. I believed the entire universe would have been so much better off if it had been just me, my paper, and my pencil. All other people, the shameless pricks and mindless bitches, could kiss both sides of my ass as far as I was concerned. Human beings to me were nothing but creatures of some other bizarre species to which I could not relate, even though I, and I ashamedly had to admit, was one of them. Of course, only one of them in the most basic of terms.

I hated them. I hated them all. Always peering over my shoulder to see what I was doing, when it was none of their fucking business. "What'cha drawin', CatHat?" They would ask. "Can I see?"

Who the fuck were they referring to?! I sure as hell wasn't named CatHat at birth by my mother, the only other human with which I could tolerate. She had named me Takeru. TA-KE-RU. Just because I wore a beanie that admittedly was more suitable for a ten-year-old girl with the word CAT on the brim, that did not give them the right to deem me nicknamed. I wore it not to make a statement; hell knows I didn't want anyone looking at me, their annoying little gazes… I wore it to cover my head because I didn't always shower before school, and the top of my head was oily. Frickin'…

I've never been a looker. I never wanted to be. In fact, I suppose up until that point, I'd almost unconsciously done whatever it took to be the exact opposite of what everyone else liked. I was dirty with wrinkled clothes and scuffed up tennis shoes. My brown hair was, as said before, oily, and almost never brushed. Since it fell down my back in a million split ends, all I did was half-heartedly pull it back. I just didn't have time to focus on hair. My eyes, which have always been a dull green in color, had been masked by thick, black, rectangular frames since about the third year of elementary school. I was too tall, and too thin, and I had dirt under my fingernails.

And I liked it that way.

So, when I got the letter…

It was one afternoon when I was sixteen. I arrived home to find my mother outside, waiting for me, looking about ready to jump out of her skin. When I asked her where the fire was, she handed me a slip of paper, apologizing for being unable to keep from reading it.

There it was in black and white. You have been accepted into Ohba Academy.

Ohba was known for it's delectable programs and had a great reputation. Anyone who got into Ohba got a good job when they got out of it… Of course, it was also known for being a breeding ground of snooty rich boys coming only on daddy's money, aka the worst kind of people imaginable. So, it was no surprise that I would say no.

But I guess the surprising part was that I didn't.

Yeah, yeah, it wasn't really my style, slipping into a boarding school to be surrounded by humans, but goddamn it all, I wanted to be an artist. This school would give me the education and the reputation to put my artwork on the map, and then I could stay home and paint or draw and never have to be bothered by anyone again. I thought ahead, yes, and while things eventually would not go as planned, it seemed like a terribly good idea at the time.

So, at the end of my summer, I packed all my shit in a heavy trunk that took both my mother and me to hoist into the back of the taxi, donned the navy blazer and canary yellow tie, and set off to Ohba. My new home.

-

Faces. I specifically remember a million faces staring at me as I was dropped off. I was the one they had heard about. A common-folk who had gotten a full scholarship for art. They hadn't expected me to be so grimy, I guess, but it wasn't as if I did it on accident. My shirt was untucked and wrinkled, and my tie was just barely knotted around my neck. My usual ponytail, my usual hat… that accursed hat I couldn't get rid of.

Staring. Staring. Staring.

So, it was perfectly justified when I turned and shouted, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!" Right? Of course!

Well, needless to say, they were leaving me alone. Thank the Gods.

Well, everyone until I met with the principal… and boy was she a sight. Yamagata-san, she was called, and as I looked at her, I began to wonder if she had gotten to her position with actual intelligence or with her looks. Dear God, was she a sight in her tight three piece suit with a mini-skirt, hosiery, and three inch heels. Her breasts, which couldn't have been real, were falling out of her jacket. Long waves of brown hair tumbled around her shoulders, and she seemed to be smiling a bit too friendly-like at me and everyone else she had around.

I remember specifically thinking, I wonder how many of these students she's slept with…

"So, you're the new boy, eh, Take-chan?"

Take-chan? What the hell?

"Takeru, yes," I grumbled.

"Welcome to Ohba, dearest." Dearest? "We're very excited to have you here." This little speech sounded a bit rehearsed. I wondered how many times she had repeated this within the last few days. "You were a last minute addition to our facility, and you're so very welcome." Yes, so very welcome, said the faces of the students I had just yelled at not ten minutes ago.

And so I was off, following behind her click-clack heels across the campus. The entire student-body watched her strut, eyes bulging out of their heads like they'd never seen a woman before. Some of them probably hadn't.

"Take-chan, you'll come to find that Ohba will give you lifelong friends. Are your friends from home going to miss you?"

"I don't have any friends."

"Oh, such a pity."

She didn't really sound piteous.

I was led into a large brick building and up three flights of stairs… basically torture, carrying that blasted trunk on my back. When did I get so much stuff? I asked myself.

"Here we are!" She practically sang, stopping in front of room 3-12. "It's time to meet your new roommate! I bet you're totally excited!"

I was totally not excited. "Wait a second. I requested to have a room to myself."

"I'm so sorry, Take-chan, but I'm afraid there just isn't enough room. Many people who requested a room to themselves were denied. You did get a letter, didn't you?"

Unfortunately for me, I hadn't.

"Well, I'm sure you'll be fine and happy!" She beamed. "You're roommate's been here since he was ten years old. I'm sure you'll find something in common."

The door was opened before me, opened to… a nightmare.

The room was tidy, with big white walls and soft carpet flooring. It was quite large for a dorm, with a picture window opening up to the outside on the back wall. Two beds were separated by a bedside table with a little lamp on it. On the other side of the room was a long desk with two open spots for sitting. A bookshelf stood next to the desk, only halfway occupied.

The walls were covered with photographs, all of the same blonde-haired pretty boy, and what was the worst… the blonde-haired pretty boy was sitting at the desk, book in hand.

"Ah, Yamagata-san," He greeted, jumping to his feet and bowing. When he lifted his head again, I got a good look.

His hair was cut in short layers and swept to the left, and his eyes were sky-blue. Very bizarre for a Japanese male, but if the slightly darker roots were any indication, his hair had been bleached. He was thin but toned (even from under his blazer, I could tell) and tall…

Oh, my God… I thought with horror. He's the worst kind of human imaginable!

This was the worst day of my life. Why had I agreed to this? Why did the Gods despise me so?… Well, other than my dislike for the creation of humans. Maybe they were just pissed because I thought I could do a better job.

But no one… not even me… deserved this…

At least, that's how I felt at the time.

"Take-chan, this is Muuto Akimine. He'll be your roommate for this year."

And suddenly, the pretty boy's annoyingly perfect smile faded, to my surprise. "Roommate?" He questioned, his voice rising from his lilting tenor to a screech equal to almost that of a woman's. "I commanded to have a room to myself!"

"I'm sorry, Aki-chan," She pouted, pushing out her ruby-red lower lip. What was she, four? "There just isn't enough room for single tenants. Do try and manage."

Regretfully, I dragged in my trunk.

"No!" Akimine complained, whining like the pretty boy he was. "Father said I would have a room to myself. He said he would pay extra for that… and suddenly I'm forced to shack up with Harry Potter?"

"Your father never paid that extra amount, Aki-chan," She explained. "I'm so sorry."

"My name is not Harry Potter, but if I was a wizard, you can guarantee I'd blow your fucking head off for calling me that," I replied bitterly.

After dragging my trunk to the end of the comforter-less bed, I turned to greet him with yet another glare of disapproval. He sent one back at me with equal ferocity, but he simply just wasn't as threatening as I was.

"You boys have fun! Class starts tomorrow morning! Don't be late!"

SLAM.

She left before the fight broke out. Smart move. She wasn't as dumb as she looked.

For the next five minutes, we spent them just staring at each other, mortified.

And finally, someone spoke.

Unfortunately, it wasn't me.

"So… You're the new kid."

"Yup."

"You got here on some sort of scholarship or something?"

"Yeah."

"Do you… own a shower?"

I turned my eyes on him again, shooting him a warning. "You wanna repeat that, friend?"

"Well, it's just… you're hair is terribly oily, and have you ever even cut it, and your nails are positively nasty!"

I stood, clenching my fists. The only thing keeping me from wailing on the brat who deserved it was that I would be expelled. I couldn't miss out on this opportunity. I couldn't let him win.

"Well, maybe I did it just to piss you off," I replied through my teeth.

"You succeeded," Akimine cringed, wiping his hands on his pants over and over again. "Do everyone a favor and take a bath."

"You can do everyone a favor too. Shut the fuck up and disappear." I turned away from him, finished, and started pulling out my denim print bedspread and favorite pillow from my trunk.

"You're the one who doesn't belong here. I've been here for six years."

"And I bet you're sooo popular. Like I give a shit. I'm here to learn, not to socialize."

"You wouldn't know how, you socially awkward prick."

Well, unsurprisingly, things did not start off well.

We spent the entire afternoon in silence, or spitting nasty back-and-forths to each other. I unpacked all my things and threw them around where I felt like it, and he scuttled along behind me, rearranging things. All books had to be in alphabetical order, all my sketchbooks had to be arranged according to size, all my clothes had to be properly folded and placed in the trunk. His neat-freakiness caused me to lose my mind, and the argument went on until we were so tired that we just went to sleep.

We slept with our backs to each other. I spent my time staring out at the moon, wishing I was somewhere else. Morning, and the chance to get away from him, could not come soon enough.

And so began the first day at Ohba Academy.

-

Morning.

I woke up… in the hallway.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I shouted, waking some of the lazier tenants. In the hallway… in my flannel pajamas… Oh, God…

I had trouble processing it for about ten seconds.

And then I was pounding on the door. "You son of bitch! Let me in!"

"Naaaaaah, I'm sleeping," came the response from the inside.

"FUCK YOU! LET ME THE FUCK IN!" I pounded with both fists and even threw in a good kick (which only succeeded in hurting my foot).

"Funny… you're even louder when you snore… which is why you're out there, and not in here."

From the nearness of his voice, I could tell he was right inside, listening to me shout like a madman.

I didn't even have my glasses.

"LET ME IN, FUCKER!"

"What're you going to do if I don't?" He was entirely too calm for my taste. Perhaps it was because I was in a blind rage.

"I'LL BREAK THE DAMN DOOR DOWN!"

"Of course you will."

"Yo, what's the beef?"

I turned my attention to the other voice, seething through my teeth, challenging anyone to say a word.

The boys standing before me were nerds, obviously, by their height and look. Both faces were covered with blemishes. The taller one was far too thin, and his clothes were too big. He had a mouth full of braces and wore a baseball cap sideways. His auburn hair hung around his face in a somewhat feminine cut. The other had curly black hair, and was a little overweight. He also had a terrified look on his face.

"What?" I growled.

"You're yelling like a psychopath. Are you aware?" The auburn-haired boy asked.

"My fucker of a roommate locked me out."

"Did you check the knob?"

As a matter of fact… I hadn't.

I grabbed the knob and twisted it lightly. The door swung open.

Fantastic. I'd just made an idiot out of myself for no reason.

Akimine could be heard cackling like he had been hit with laughing gas.

"God, you got here on a scholarship? Pathetic!" He howled.

I was done playing nice… I was ready to strangle him, to knock every single one of his white teeth out of his mouth, when the auburn-haired kid grabbed my shoulder.

"Wanna grab some breakfast?"

"No."

"C'mon, let's get breakfast."

"I'm in my pajamas, and I said no, shit head."

"My name's not shit head. It's Hideki. My pal over here is Kisho."

"Don't care. Leave."

"Yes, sir," They both replied, zipping away. Smart move.

I entered the room, bringing with me an air of revenge. Akimine didn't seem fazed by the look on my face, laying on his bed with his hands behind his head. He was already dressed, his clothing finely pressed and creased.

"Good morning," He said, grinning wickedly with his perfect little teeth.

"You son of a bitch," I hissed.

"What?" He asked innocently. "You were snoring too loud so I put you in the hallway. You were only out there a few minutes. You were just throwing off my routine, you know."

"I don't give a shit about your routine," I responded bitterly.

"Of course you don't," He shrugged, hopping to his feet. "Look… maybe we got off on the wrong foot, yes?"

"Yeah. Maybe," I replied flatly.

"Well, get dressed. I'll make it up to you. I'll show you around before class starts."

"I don't give a crap about looking around," I explained to him. "I don't care about the other boys. I don't like them. I don't like anyone."

"Well, aren't you an angry soul," He said.

"Well, aren't you an annoying little prick," I replied, mocking his tone of voice. What kind of guy had that high of a tenor voice?

Akimine crossed to the window and looked out. "Well, you gonna get dressed or what?" He asked.

I was fishing my uniform out from the trunk. I'd made sure to stay up until he had gone to sleep so I could lazily toss it in there and not have him with his nose up my ass, folding it. Idiot.

He stood there as I stripped of my pajamas, stood there watching, to my discomfort. Once I'd gotten down to my boxers, he chirped up, "My God! Do you eat? You can see your ribs!"

"I'm thin, so what?" I barked.

And there he went, folding my pajamas and putting them back in the trunk.

"Anyone ever tell you you're a clean freak?" I asked, genuinely curious if it was just me.

"Uh…" He thought for a moment. "Nope."

"Well, you're a clean freak."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

I didn't answer. Whenever he spoke, his voice grated on my last nerve. I pulled back my hair and yanked my hat over my head. "Where's the bathroom?" I asked, wishing I didn't have to.

"I'll show you," He said politely and led me down the hall.

-

The bathroom was bustling with boys… and I thought I was gross… "Jeez," I grumbled, forcing my way to a sink so I could brush my teeth.

Aki was right at my heels. He seemed to be awfully fond of accompanying me considering we spent the whole of the day before screaming at each other. I rather liked hearing his voice screech like a woman's. It made me laugh on the inside.

As I brushed, I glanced at myself in the mirror and saw Aki over my shoulder. He looked uncomfortable, and understandably so, considering the place was so goddamned crowded with showering boys and teeth-brushing boys and hand-washing boys and pissing boys. Whoever invented public bathrooms for dorm rooms was a bastard. A real goddamned bastard.

The sink next to me became free, just as I was spitting, and Akimine was at it before I could blink.

From his tan knapsack, he pulled out a white wash-cloth and unwrapped it to reveal a fresh and clean bar of lava soap.

Holy shit… I thought, actually stunned. He brings his own soap with him?

He washed his hands thoroughly for at least a minute, rinsed, and dried them on the wash cloth. He rewrapped his soap and put it back in his bag. "Let's go," He mumbled.

Suddenly, my hands seemed really dirty…

"Yo, Muuto," I said, grabbing his attention.

He turned. "Mm?"

"You're a clean freak, and I hate you."

"You're a scum bag, and I hate you too," He smiled.

This was the beginning of a beautiful… something. God knows I didn't know whatit was.