A Little Sunflower

I look over the edge of the bridge. The sun is out, the day warm and bright, completely opposite of my life. The sun glitters over the water, making it glow. Sparkles decorate the surface of the clear, sinuous fluid.

No one is outside today. The wind caresses my body in an almost teasing manner. It whispers in my ear, mocking me. Telling me everything I know, yet wish to never hear. I block my ears from the horrible whispers, but they will not stop. They swirl around me, leaving me no way to escape them.

I scream in frustration. I squeeze my eyes shut, but I see the images as they flash behind my lids. I frantically open my eyes, but there in front of me is the worst scene imaginable. Blood is everywhere. I hear shrieks, short spurts of pure agony snake into my ears. My body trembles viciously. I feel the sticky sweat gather on my upper lip. I feel it trail down slowly to my cracked, pale lips. The salt burns my wounds. It mingles with the blood and dirt caked on my face. The surrounding flames close in on me. A rough but small hand grabs my ankle.

I look down and see the face of the young boy I have failed. He looks at me with sadness and betrayal. I feel nauseous. I can't take his wilting stare. I reach for him to try and comfort him. He gets farther and farther away from me. I can't reach him, no matter how far I bend. His cries for help hit me like a ton of bricks. My already fragile heart crumbles within its confines of my chest.

The wood of the house splinters and the roof caves in on me. I'm under the rubble, by myself. I still hear screams as they reach my ears. It is only now that I realize they are coming from my mouth. The heat overwhelms me. I didn't care if I died, I didn't want that young boy to die.

I have not seen that boy since that awful day. I still blame myself for everything that happened. The men, they came. They came and I did not protect him. I couldn't protect the only thing that mattered to me in the world. The boy with his dark hair and skin and his bright blue eyes. It was those eyes. Those eyes that had mesmerized me, but tormented the others.

They thought he was a daemon. Something not of this world, but I knew he was. He bled like everyone else, ate like everyone else, slept like everyone else, but they did not accept him. He was different. I was different. I was the creator of this daemon, this monstrosity.

Because of me, he had to suffer. I got away with the help of no one, but I couldn't save my one and only son.

I look back over the bridge. The water is brown and stagnant now, veiled by the thoughts inhabiting my mind. Nothing looks to me like it once did. The world is nothing but a nauseating dream.

I stand on the ledge of cobblestone. My legs shaking with anger. Anger at myself, the world, and anger at my fear.

The sky is black and ominous as it looms overhead. It's so funny how quickly things can change. How everything you once knew could deceive you.

I turn to have one last glance at the world surrounding me. My eyes lightly scan the sky, the dirt ground, brown and dusty, and then the bridge. There in the middle of the bridge was a single sunflower. It shines bright among the darkness surrounding it. It's white, soft-looking petals surround the bright sunshine yellow in the center. It is like hope despite the inevitable.

I quickly jump from the edge of the bridge and pick up the flower. It is soft in my hands. The petals feel like velvet and it smelled sweet. It reminds me of home, before what happened. Home where people smiled and laughed and he was still alive.

I need to end it. The pain is too much. I want to end it. I can't handle it. I am determined to finish everything. I walk back to the edge of the bridge briskly. I stepped onto the ledge of the bridge.

I take a deep breath as rain starts to fall, soaking me through. My bright, stick-straight red hair sticks to my face and neck. I close my eyes, waiting for the weight to be lifted from my shoulders. A smile adorns my lightly freckled face. I spread my arms, as if to welcome the happiness that is soon to come in a loving embrace. The rain prickles my skin as it starts to fall heavily.

As I start to tip toward the water a warm hand grabs my frail arm. I'm startled. I didn't expect anyone to be around, especially as it rains. I turn to see whom it was who stopped me. I look down slightly to see the tan face of a young man about my age. His black hair fell into his worried, deep set cornflower blue eyes.

I don't know what overcomes me, but I have the overwhelming urge to follow him wherever he goes. I've never seen him before in my life, yet I feel as if I have known him all my life.

Tears start to gather in the corners of my hazel eyes. I feel the tears as they trail down my face. My salty tears mingle with the rainwater. The man grabs me from the edge and brings me tightly to his chest, hugging me closely. He's warm compared to the freezing rain.

He carries me as he walks into the distance. The sun emerges from the clouds, showering us with warmth. The rain lightens until it no longer pours from the heavens and I feel the weight that has plagued me for so long lift away from me and I hold the little sunflower to my chest as I drift into happiness in the man's arms, awaiting the future I have always wished for.