I didn't even know what I was doing at the baby store. Mason already had all of the baby accouterments and furniture. Not to mention safety stuff. If there's anything that drives home the fact that... he had a wife. He had kids. Maybe he wasn't in love with her, but he'd still had a wife. He'd married her for convenience, but there had to be at least some affection there.

But it didn't really matter, since she was dead.

The store smelled like plastic and baby powder, and ironically, there were a bunch of people even though it was late at night. Then again, it's doubtful that parents ever get much sleep anyway.

I found myself staring at a display of breast pumps for some reason, trying to remember what I was supposed to get. We already got diapers in the afternoon, and stocked up on baby food. We didn't need clothes, since she could wear baby clothes left over from Henry and Gary. Babies don't care about what they wear, it's the parents that do, and Mason and I didn't care for gender stereotypes. She was going to grow into her own person regardless of what she wore; that isn't something that should have to be taught.

But essentially we had everything.

I chewed my lip as I walked through the store. Useless, that's what I was; sure, I had experience dealing with kids since I helped raise my brothers and all, but I had pretty much no clue what to do with an infant. Potty training and bike riding I could do, diaper changing and weaning... not so much. Basically, there wasn't a single thing I could do.

Then a display of stuffed animals caught my eye.

That's what I was to Mason, for all the help I was - not much. A stuffed animal. Good for comfort, but not very practical, and it was only exemplified by this situation. But... people still buy stuffed animals, so there must be something to it. I mean, people try to improve stuffed animals all the time, adding sound devices and heating pads and stuff, but people still buy them without all of that.

It's symbolic, I realized then. Stuffed animals don't have a purpose, they're given one. Without meaning, they're just a bunch of stuffing and fabric, but with meaning, they're everything. Even when all else failed, there was one thing that I could always offer Mason, Scott, Henry, Gary, and Edith - comfort. And for me that meant more than anything in the world.

I bought her a giraffe.