In the alternate universe I built in my head the world was a utopia solely based on what made me and those I loved happy, or better, it was perfection at my faux fingertips. It was made up of all the philosophies I’d learned through all the experiences I’d ever had, and some I’d been lucky to only hear about. It’s selfish I guess, but why shouldn’t I be important and treated well in my own universe? It was only fair, since reality didn’t seem to favor me, especially at that moment.

Back in the world my body lived in, I could be found in a small apartment sitting at a table with my eyes trained on the drink in my hand, avoiding the man in front of me.

“Liz, you had to have noticed,” he said, “our relationship was dying way before this.”

My teeth clenched. It was so surreal having my fiancé- or former, now, take a hammer and smash the last hope I had for our engagement. It was all because he’d met someone else.

“When did you—”My voice cracked, and I stopped, though I knew I would have anyways. Did I really want to know when he’d met her? “How did you meet her?” I’d decided to say, knowing it would cut me just as deeply.

From the edge of my vision, I saw him duck his head, before responding, “Work. We… We work at the same office.”

“Work,” I echoed. Would every relationship I have end because of work, whether it be mine or his? In this case, no doubt, it would be both. “Isn’t there some rule against co-workers dating?” I said weakly.

“She’s switching divisions.”

My lips raised in a humorless smile. “Oh, of course.”

Then there was silence, and every second was killing me. I want to say something, but what could I say?

Do you love her? Could you love her? I ached to know, Could you love her more than me?

I looked at my hand, and took off the ring that was placed on my left ring finger six months earlier. “I guess I should give this back to you.” I offered the ring with what I wish was a steadier hand.

His gaze passed over it but he hesitated. “Liz—” He didn’t continue, and he also didn’t make a move for the ring either.

I glared at him. “What are you doing,” I asked him angrily. “Just take it and get out.”

He just sat there staring at me. “Lizy-”

“Don’t,” I told him. I felt tears in my eyes. “Don’t call me that.” Tired of waiting for him, I dropped my hand and watched as my arm fell onto the table, the ring clattered as it followed its lead. What I hated most was the fact that I was doing just what I said I wouldn’t until he was gone. I was showing just how vulnerable I was. “Just go away,” I said staring mournfully at the ring that used to represent my future, and my family. Our two year relationship was being diminished in less than twenty minutes.

He silently got up, and left. There I was, pitifully alone like I’d asked, feeling emptier than ever. I stared at the phone a few feet away. I thought about my best friend and comfort food.

I didn’t make a move, and instead found myself heading to the perfection in my world where none of this would have happened.

“What? I’m so sorry, Liz” My best friend’s static voice apologized over the phone. Even though she had nothing to apologize for, it was nice to hear some empathy. “You deserve better than that. I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” I’d agreed, not so sure if I really did. At the moment I wasn’t too sure of anything to do with our relationship. Was the engagement just something to keep him entertained until something better came along?

My best friend, Kate, was also one of the best people I’d ever met. She was the one person that wasn’t related to me that I could call family. I really did look up to her, because she was so put together. She was everything I wasn’t.

“Do you want me to come over,” she asked me.

I closed my eyes, feeling my migraine spin my vision. “No, no. I think I’m going to sleep a bit. Maybe you could come over later. Tomorrow,” I added.

Kate was quiet before, “Alright.” Another pause, but this one was shorter. “If he could do this to you, then he isn’t worth your thoughts or your tears. You’re the last person who deserves this. This isn’t the end of it, Liz. There will be other — better— guys.”

“I know,” I replied. I knew I hurt her by telling her not to come, but I really hated her to see me in the mess I was after every break up. Tomorrow would be better. “You know, I think I’m going to go now. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay.”

I hung up the phone, and walked to my room, falling on to my bed, my head still throbbing. My thoughts fell back on what had transpired earlier that day, and silent tears ran down my face. I fell asleep wondering if I would ever be worthy of a happily ever after.

I woke up the next morning forgetting everything. It wasn’t until I took a look at the mess I was in the mirror did everything come flooding back. Then did I feel as much of a mess as I looked. Then did the rightful anger that I felt take place. Yesterday was disbelief and self pity, something I really hated feeling. But now, I was angry.

I don’t think I’d ever felt this much hatred for a person than I hated him at the moment. That is, if I’d ever even felt hatred for one person before, because this new bitter feeling was definitely new. I wanted his head.

Okay… this is garbage that I haven’t edited at all, so don’t be too harsh. It was in my head for a while. I’m not sure if I’m too satisfied with it… any impute?

Oh, and yes, I know that I haven’t finished anything I’ve started writing. Ever… except that one time…. But that was years ago. Lol. I’ll try to fix that, I promise. Try is the operative word, so don’t be too mad if it doesn’t work. Lately, I’ve just been fooling around with beginnings to any sort of future story. I don’t know if I’ll find the muse to continue. I might just leave this as a one shot, but who knows, maybe a review might help.