Jonnie the Sequel

Introduction

Let me tell you a little about life after Ryder.

If my existence was complicated before, after Ryder's death, it became one seriously messed up Rubix cube. It was like the universe had shifted, and I was forever stuck off-balance. How are you supposed to move on from something like that? What do you tell yourself? I hear one of the songs on the radio that he used to sing to me, and I take a sigh and feel… nothing. It's not that I don't want to cry and fall apart, but when my mind's eye pictures Ryder's face, hears his voice… the world stops.

But I'm here to tell of times beyond Ryder. There had to be a living past him, or I was just drifting through time and taking up space now. I just had to figure out what else I was living for.

It took a bit of soul-searching, thousands of tears, and a few relationships to get a little sanity back. First thing I have to confess, Trent, our ridiculously handsome player, was a part of that. Let me explain:

After I found out Trent and Danny had gotten an apartment in New York, completely ironically very near our own residence, April and I were visiting almost every day. We had many fun outings together, and despite April and Danny's many ups-and-downs with their relationship, Trent and I became and remained close.

Then he had to go and screw it up.

We were having a few drinks one night, a celebration of the birthday of their lovely roommate, Emery. Emery was a curly haired Hispanic with bright blues, and I'd been suffering through yet another unrequited love through him. Which everyone thought silly, since Emery had a girlfriend, a cheating habit, and the personality of a rock. But he was a really, really handsome rock, with a quiet and meek nature. Emery was consistent in discouraging my feelings, I had to admit, and tried hard not to lead me on. In no way did he ever give me the signal like he was interested. Ever. Not one little hint.

Insert 'heavy sigh' here.

That night was a normal evening, a movie was put on, laughs were shared, everything was pretty much copasetic. Then, my phone started vibrating in my pocket, which I thought curious, since all the people I usually communicated with were already in my presence. I checked the screen. It was a text. From Trent.

If anyone's up for a good rebound make-out, it had said. I'll be in my room.

I gasped in shock, and looked over to Trent, who didn't look anywhere but ahead as he walked toward the hall to his room, probably expecting me to follow him.

"Cat, did you get this text?" I silently showed her the message, and she gasped and clasped her hand over her mouth.

"No!" she breathed in shock, being sure not to be too obvious and draw attention from the other boys. "I knew it! I knew Trent liked you! I knew it from the first time I met him…"

I wasn't so sure. My mind swarmed with thought, my head fizzling through the pain of Ryder, the frustration of Emery, and this shocking new development with Trent.

God, I disliked Trent. So, why was I tempted?

Was it A: the lure of the no-strings-attached, sure-to-be-amazing kissing session with an experienced partner?

Or B: the satisfaction of knowing that almighty sex-god Trent wanted to kiss lowly, unattractive me?

Or perhaps C: the fact that kissing was not only therapeutic, but just plain fun?

The answer was D: all of the above.

So, I went through that door. I sat on the edge of Trent's bed, and we kissed. For a long, long time. He was every bit as amazing as all those girls before me had known. The boy didn't just have talent, he had a gift. He was like the Mozart of making-out. He was so different from kissing Ryder. Where Ryder was slow and gentle, Trent was passionate and hurried. It made it all the more intense.

I finally laughed and pulled away, my heart lifting at the thought of such a handsome specimen like him being my boyfriend. I'd love showing this one off, for sure.

"What?" he asked at my chuckling.

"I just never would have thought it," I replied, putting my forehead to his. "You, liking me. So, when did you decide that you had feelings for me?"

"I don't like you," Trent countered very plainly. I pulled away.

"Huh? Then why'd you want to kiss me?"

"You looked like you needed it, since Emery won't ever be giving you any, and I felt like making-out, so… it was convenient for both of us."

I was appalled, my heart surprisingly doing this plummeting thing to my stomach. I was more embarrassed than anything, that I had expected any different from a womanizer like Trent. I remember calling him a bastard several times, and slapping him upside the head, before I gathered my things and stormed out.

"You thought I had feelings for you?" Trent laughed as I left. My cheeks were hot in shame, and angry at his callous, insensitive letdown. I was so furious with myself for doing something so stupid, for falling for the dangerous man-trap of Trent. I had never done something like that before then. I didn't just go around handing out kisses. I felt tremendously taken advantage of.

That bastard. I never looked at him the same again. Our friendship underwent immediate suffocation. Trent had the perfect revenge on me for Operation Trent Trap, for Lea, for Ryder, everything. Another epic battle finished, but the war was far from over. Our hatred for each other was now mutual.

April knew something was up as soon as I returned, but she let it go when I insisted that I didn't want to talk about it. I was content enough then to act like all this had never happened. It was a mistake, that's all, one that I would never make again. I let it all vanish from my mind, not to be brought up again.

Almost six months later, Talulah, April, and me stepped off the plane with carry-ons in hand, and me with my laptop for any overlays in-between flights. We walked through L.A.X. in a hurry, only hoping we were heading the right way, as only all people in an airport as large as that can. I searched the vast crowds for my brother Robbie, who had promised he was going to pick us up.

It happened to be Sean's birthday the day we got home, and combined with our homely welcoming, all the boys had decided to throw a party at Sean's favorite place in the world. Chuck-E-Cheese's.

All the boys except Ryder. It had been seven months since he died, a year since I had left the dorm house boys. I dated a couple boys since, but they paled so much in comparison they only lasted weeks each. My heart was heavy and my hopes seemed to have died with Ryder. I knew very resolutely that I was a different Jonnie than before I had left for school. I was more cynical now, more pessimistic, mouthier, and a bit more scandalous. My appearance had changed too: my hair was now short in a bobbed A-line haircut with blunt cut bangs, my wardrobe and make-up more dark and scary, bringing out the old gothic look from high school.

Yet, the anticipation of seeing the rest of the dorm house boys was something I had really been looking forward to. The only updates I ever received were from my brother Robbie, but he had a talent for leaving out details.

When Robbie and I entered, I took a moment to bask in the wonderful familiarity of it all.

There sat Sean, our resident Asian gamer geek, his SpongeBob cone party hat cocked to the side, as he sat eating a phenomenally greasy slice of cheese pizza. He was taller since I last saw him, and had lost a few pounds. Guess college life was to blame for that.

There was Trent, being his typical self and flirting with a pretty girl behind the counter where you exchange tickets for prizes. She smiled at him with round red cheeks like two tomatoes attached to her face. It was so easy for him it was unfair, with that perfect brunette hair hanging in his golden eyes just right and that half-smirk grin of his. The girl didn't stand a chance.

There was Rachel, my sarcasm-driven close friend, playing some gun game and shouting the name of all her ex-boyfriends as she fired. I thought I heard Trent's name among them, if my ears didn't deceive me. She hadn't changed a bit, with her dark brown hair and even darker clothing.

And there was redheaded Drama Dan and Crazy Matt quite literally having a Dance Dance revolution, with all the quarters Danny was spending on rematches. Danny could afford it, I figured, since he was richer than anyone else I'd ever met. You would never tell by looking at a passing glance, though, which I admired about him.

And there was my Ryder, playing table hockey with Jonah and looking as handsome as ever. I noticed that his hair had grown out. Gone was the fauxhawk, back were those peroxide blonde locks.

Or so I liked to imagine. I could quite literally see him there, instead of the blonde chick that Jonah was actually playing air hockey with. A trick of the eyes, which happened to me a lot. I had only known Ryder a short time, but such a time it was, and to even think of him made my chest hurt and my breath catch. I would have to take a moment and let it pass. But it would, and a tiny bit quicker with each passing day.

God, I missed him.

It felt good to be home, though, among people that I knew. Yet, I was still choking back tears. It all felt too familiar, and there was an empty space here. It was so painfully obvious.

When the others came to hug me, they all had this air of pity around them, which was to be expected, but still awkward and annoying. They embraced me like I was fragile. They spoke to me as if one wrong word and I'd bawl all over their face. And the fact that they treated me in such a way made me want to do just that.

After I was done attacking Rachel and the rest of the boys properly in violent hugs, and met Jonah's new lady Hallie (well, only new to me, considering they'd been dating since I left), Jonah waved his excusal then and went back to playing air hockey with his woman friend. I felt a tinge of that old ghost of attraction to him, a spark of jealousy toward the girl, but I shoved it back down. Jonah was so old of news he was ancient history. Darn chemical bodily reactions to him. They don't forget so easily.

Talulah and Matt immediately disappeared in the tube mazes to rekindle something I would rather not know about. I was surprised to see Danny had already made himself scarce too in the sight of April.

"We're not really talking," April admitted later. "We haven't been doing well lately."

"Again? But you two were so twitterpated back in the day!" I exclaimed in mourning. "You two are my last hope for a fairy tale love—you two can't be done. I won't allow it!"

"Sorry babe, we pretty much already are," April said sadly. "I don't know, I just, don't feel for him like I once did. He's been talking to Lea a lot lately, and I just can't help but feel that his mother," -the word looked and sounded like it tasted bad on her tongue- "Was right all along. Maybe Lea and him are a better fit."

I stayed silent, my own thoughts swarming in. It felt like April was hurt by Danny and Lea at the Thanksgiving dinner last year, and had got it in her head that Lea was the better choice for Danny ever since. So, she was taking the decision of what would make Danny happy… out of Danny's own hands. I'd never say that to April, but it was her typical defense mechanism.

It seemed I was wrong about a lot of the couples that I had helped formulate. First Lea and Trent, now Danny and April. I was the worst matchmaker ever. Where did I go wrong? They all seemed to care for each other so much… at first. I couldn't help but recall the fact that Ryder and I had broken up eventually as well, even as much as we were in love. Were all relationships doomed?

Trent came near and I immediately became irritated by his mere presence. As a device to get under his skin, I asked him about Lea's whereabouts, figuring he'd be the one to know more than anyone else here. I had heard rumors I wanted verified, like about her quitting the fashion industry, and engaged to marry to Ken in June.

"Wow…" I immediately looked to Trent. "And how do you feel about that?" I asked jokingly, putting an invisible microphone up to his face.

"I don't really care," Trent drawled passively. "She ended up being just another notch on the old bedpost. Not that I keep count anymore. Once you get over a hundred they all start to become a blur."

He smiled at me just because he knew I disapproved of him. I scowled at his insensitivity, trying not to let him get to me. I was already tired of him flaunting his immaturity. So beautiful, so evil- That was the Trent I knew. I spotted the prize-girl behind the distant counter still eyeing Trent, very anxious for his return. His game had more than likely been interrupted by our arrival.

Instead of returning to her before she had a heart attack, Trent headed toward the door, most likely for a smoke outside. Cigarettes were a new habit of his. I didn't meet his eyes for the rest of the day. I was still too angry with him for the stunt he had pulled over the summer.

I took a moment to let my irritation pass, and grabbed a few tokens and began catching up with April on girl-talk aboard a pair of motorcycle games.

"I don't understand Trent," I complained to April, shaking my head at his back and sighing in frustration. "He so antagonistic all the time."

"He still seems the same to me," April retorted as she flipped back her mousy-brown hair and started the round. "But even if he did change, you have to remember you weren't the only one affected by Ryder's passing, hon."

I found it amusing that April called me 'hon' and 'babe'. Only my older siblings called me those names, and April was a few years my junior. I think she just liked reminding people she was very mature for her age.

"Valid point," I nodded as I leaned a sharp left to avoid a tree on screen. I ended up hitting it anyway.

"Yeah, I hear Trent doesn't have that many girls anymore, and he's even gone back to school," April went on.

"Really?" I said in surprise. "He finally cashed in that reality check, I suppose."

"You're so hard on him," April observed. "Maybe that's why he's so mean to you."

"You're right, I don't cut Trent any slack," I agreed. "But he's never really showed me he deserved it."

"Aw, look at that," April said to me teasingly as she crossed the finish line in second place, while I dragged behind in eighth. "I win."

"So motorcycles aren't my forte," I admitted. "But at Skee-ball, you don't stand a chance."

She laughed her doubts as we collected our tickets the game had spit out at us.

"Ho, ho, ho, au contraire!" she bellowed, racing me there. I felt six again. It was nice. Six was a good age for me.

April went on to ask me how I was spending the few weeks we were home, and I was thankful for something else to think about. I had thought of going back home, like she was, but that thought was gone as quick as it came. I hated that place, not because of my folks, or even the house itself. It was the darn location, if you could locate it at all.

No, I was to rejoin the lady pack back at Talulah's grandmother's house. Talulah had told me in passing that day that someone else would be visiting in our house for the couple weeks, and join us in our dorm at school in New York when we went back. Some half-sister of hers named Ashlee. I gave it no real regard, but in retrospect I should have.

Thus, this is where another story begins.

Here we go again! Yes, the story starts this way. An abrupt beginning, I know, but you all must know by now I just tell it like it was. Please review.
Signed,
-RedRogu55