Reflections of the Sins

It was 1924 in Michigan, United States sometime during the winter. Christmas day had finally come, bringing light into the small white house through the windows. A thin sheet of snow covered the ground outside, making the morning sun blinding to the eyes.

Jenny was already awake, staring out her bedroom window. The house was so quiet this morning. The people in this house usually slept in on Christmas day. It was a day to relax and spend together. Today though felt different, it didn’t feel like Christmas, it didn’t feel like a good day, not to Jenny anyway.

She stood up from her bed, forcing her eyes away from the window. She dressed quietly and picked up her shoes before tip toeing downstairs. She listened to make sure she hadn’t woken anyone before pulling on her shoes. A small sigh parted her lips as she slipped out of the house, closing the door behind her carefully.

It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the bright light reflecting off the snow. She covered her eyes with her arm, blocking some of the blinding light before she started walking, her eyes slowly adjusting. It wasn’t snowing anymore, which only made it colder.

This was probably the stupidest thing she had ever done, to have gone outside in the wee morning hours without a coat. She was bound to catch a cold, but something had stopped her from grabbing her coat as she walked past and now, something stopped her from going back to get it. Something about this day felt unnatural and the idea of the coat only made the feeling worse.

Jenny kicked some of the snow under her feet and frowned. She couldn’t figure out why she was so down. Had she taken some wrong turn in life and now it was stupidly dawning on her too late? She shook her head that was far too ridiculous to be true.

Something hit her as she thought deeply about the subject. She knew why today felt so wrong. She looked to the side sadly. It was because she was alone. She understood now, it all made perfect sense, but she couldn’t change how things were going.

It didn’t matter how many people were around her, she would still be just as alone. This was because she was playing a game. She was just putting on a show for them. So many times before she had told herself and those around her that everything would be okay and now she knew exactly what to do to make it okay. Now, she was going through and soon things really would be okay but it would cost her. She knew the price of freedom; she knew the price of happiness. She knew it would be hard, better then anyone else, she knew.

Now the only probably was making sure everything went as planned. This was the hard part but she was sure that everything would be fine as long as she played pretend as she had all this time. As long as she continued to act like her normal self no one would worry, that’s what she wanted to believe, that’s how she needed things to work out for her.

If there was even one flaw in the end, everything might go wrong. She couldn’t, wouldn’t let that happen.

She looked to the sky, she may be alone inside herself on this day and every day forward, but she would make sure the only persons that mattered to her would be okay. They would be happy in the end; she would make sure of that, so she had to be strong.

With new understanding she turned around and walked back towards her house. She would make things turn out okay, no matter what it took. She made her sister a promise, and she was sure to keep it, at any cost.

She slipped back into her house and headed up to her room after removing her shoes. No one was awake yet, which worked out just fine for her. After she had changed back into her night gown Jane was awake and ready for breakfast.

Jenny smiled and picked the young child up and took her downstairs for breakfast. If no one was up by the time she was finished she’d go up and wake them all. Almost every year since she was seven she’s had to go up and wake them all. She was always excited to open presents but this year it was just to make sure she kept up the act.