Confusion

Swirling emotions follow me wherever I go

Help me

Someone help me

I want to run
I know I should

Yet I don't

Why?

I know he doesn't love me

I know he doesn't really care

Yet I smile

I laugh

And flirt

But I know he doesn't care

He doesn't love me

He just wants me

And I don't really love him

But that doesn't matter

Not this time

He wants me

And I like that

But I know that this will come to no good end

I don't want to talk to him but I'm happy to hear his voice

I know I will be hurt

I know this is dangerous

Is that why I want it?

Am I trying to prove myself wrong?

Why am I doing this?

What should I do?

Should I stop it all before it really starts?

Or see how it goes?

My mind is screaming "NO!"

But my heart….or some other part is saying

"Yes! Give it a try, it'll be fun!"

I want to escape but I don't

I don't know how I feel about this

It seems so wrong

Yet it would be fun

And at a time like this…

Did you know?

Did you know how sad I am?

Did you know how hard it would be for me to resist?

Why can't I run away?

You're not really all I want

Just a small part

You're definitely NOT what I need

Why can't I turn around?

Leave and not think about you again?

My body seems to be betraying me

Turning against me

Why?

How can this happen?

My body is me

How can I be fighting against myself?

I'm in a state of civil war

Which side will win?

I don't want this

I don't want to be hurt

I wish you had never come back

I was safe with you gone

You don't care

You don't love me

You don't love me

If you did this would be so different…

But you don't

And I'm confused