Oh.
I am tired.
These days and nights
just
s t r e t c h
on and on
like cold molasses.

I'm sick
and sad.
And lonely.

I miss you.
I hate you.
But I love you more.

God,
I can't do this.
It never ends.
We keep dancing around
conflict.
You push and I take it.
I cry and apologize
for all the things I can't control
or fix or change.

You swear and curse and call me
saying you miss the sex.
I say nothing.
I let you ask me.
I let you call the shots.

Too scared of pushing you
away.

God, does this hurt.
Don't you see?
I couldn't care more
about you if I tried.

What more do you want?
A signed confession?
How could you think
I'd willingly,
knowingly
betray your trust?

Do you really think
so little of me?

I refused to believe it
when you said you sucked
as a friend.
When you know you're
bad, you're extra careful...Right?

The only thing
that keeps me here
hanging on your every word
is that you need me.

You need me more then I need you.