Chapter Thirty-Four

I was aware of nothing except the spell – the power coursing through me. And there was an awful rending sensation like part of my body was being ripped off – part of my mind going along with it. I screamed, but couldn’t hear it – voices babbled nonsense a moment later. Or maybe it wasn’t a moment, maybe it was an hour – time didn’t matter anymore. Only the pain mattered. I alternately tasted blood and dirt, grasping desperately for anyone, anything that could provide salvation from this torture.

The voices came again, and this time I could feel my skin ripping, stretching and breaking like elastic. I kept screaming until I overcame the sound of the voices – I could hear myself crying out – I clung to the idea that I could sense something beyond the green nothingness and the endless pain.

And then I heard a sound sweeter than any of my life: Saxon’s voice. He was calling my name, frantically. Was it in my head or not? I didn’t know. I needed him to save me no matter the reason I could hear him.

I shouted his name, or tried to – but sound wasn’t working. I felt on the edge of insanity when a sudden, sharp pain jolted my green reality. I welcomed this new, different hurt – it felt physical, like my body hurt, and being able to feel my own body again was fantastic.

This weird, stabbing pain only lasted a moment, but that was long enough. After only a second, I could recognize that it was coming from my neck. Another beat, and I realized it was Saxon, feeding from me. And then I realized I was lying on my back on the floor, and that was when he broke off and reality came crashing back down.

The sudden jolt of all my senses functioning again was so severe I cried out again, in surprise – he’d never just cut it off so directly like that, without the weird floating-in-water sensation. While my brain was still puzzling over the problem of ‘how Saxon got here so quickly, and what is going on,’ I stared up at him in silent relief. It was hard to catch my breath, strangely enough.

First he looked back at me, cradling me in his lap. “Are you all right?”

I nodded, surprised when no part of me still hurt. I’d expected lingering aches. “What’s going on?”

Predictably, he ignored my question and glared past me. I turned my head to see who he was so mad at; Logan, no surprise, who was crouching on the floor a few feet away, still shirtless, though the rune was gone. Tristan was standing in the doorway next to us with a look of unbridled horror on his face, which was probably warranted considering Saxon’s next words. “I am going to fucking kill you for this.”

Dimly, I noted Chancy and Cernion were also in the room, more bystanders to whatever slaughter Saxon had in mind. Now that Saxon was here, I knew immediately that unparalleled rage was fueling him on. But, for a reason I couldn’t yet understand, alarms were going off in my head to see that Adrian and Darius were here, too, standing right behind Logan. He stayed perfectly still as he answered. “This is not my…”

“Shut up!” Saxon shouted at him. I grabbed his shirt to try and prevent it, but he still put me on the floor and got to his feet, prepared to kick serious ass. “You think this isn’t your fault? Then who should I kill for putting a werepanther mark into Nicci? Is there someone else who’s done that? No? Really? Then it is your god damn fault, Logan.”

I got myself into a sitting position in the amount of time it took Logan to be on his feet, arms crossed. The gesture he made at the two werepanthers behind him was subtle, but it was then I realized that if Saxon was to attack Logan, he’d be forced to fight all three of them, and probably Chancy, too. For now, they seemed content to listen to their alpha as he tried to be his usual reasonable self. “I never wanted any of this to happen, Saxon. Do you really think I marked Nicci, expecting one day there would be a spell cast on my pack, that just so happened to be channeled by her? Do you think I predicted any of the atrocities that have taken place since?”

“Wait. What the fuck is happening?” I interrupted, now standing beside Saxon. He had the same look about him as last night, pacing circles around the living room. It was not a compromising, forgiving look.

Tristan summarized so quickly that I only barely caught all the words. “You caught the full brunt of the inclusion spell through Logan’s mark in you but it had a conflict with Saxon’s marks so it backfired and the two marks sort of argued about it.”

“That explains the ‘torn in two’ sensation,” I said, dazedly.

“If you don’t take your shit out of her in the next five minutes I am going to start by tearing your fingers off one at a time,” Saxon growled, very convincingly.

At least two people in the room paled. Logan wasn’t one of them. Adrian growled lower than a human throat should be able to handle, and I could feel the air around both he and Darius pulsing with energy. Logan gestured behind him again, a ‘calm down’ motion as he answered. “Do you think if someone asked the same of you, it would be so quickly done?”

“Logan…” I started, wanting to warn him. There was no part of Saxon’s mind right now that I could feel that wasn’t seeing red. I thought it would only take a few provoking words to make him angrier than I had ever seen before… and I’d never seen him that angry with this much newfound power. Maybe Darius and Adrian could stop him from killing Logan, but three werewolves hadn’t slowed him down at all, though I was sure they could hurt him… The idea of this physical brawl made my chest hurt. No way could I let this happen.

Saxon, still shouting at him, overcame my words. “You expect me to believe you don’t know how? Save it for someone who cares. I told you once before that I have seen your mark in her for myself; if you want me to rip it out for you I would be more than happy to.”

Tristan tentatively said, “That would hurt both of them…”

His answer was directed at Logan as though he had spoken. “I have ten times the bond to her than you do. It would only hurt one of you.” He gestured with one hand in a hurry-it-up motion. “Time’s running out. Do you want me to decide for you?”

“Saxon, don’t be ridiculous,” I said, growing scared.

“I will not instigate violence with you, Saxon, but I assure you I will defend myself,” Logan said, very calmly. Too calmly.

“Stop it, both of you!” I shouted, only to be further ignored.

“There’s no need for this,” Logan went on, rationally. “It was a simple miscalculation. A mistake on my part for rushing this process and not allowing enough time for research. If Nicci would ask me to remove my mark from her, I would do it. But I will not respond to your demands as though she is unable of making her own decision.”

If Logan was hoping Saxon would turn to me for a tie-breaker, he was out of luck, and not even I was surprised at that. “If you don’t take it out of her now, it’s only going to happen again. Maybe not soon, but someday – if I don’t kill you first – it’ll happen again. It was your brilliant idea to get her in this position and it’s your fault. I won’t risk it happening again. Ever.”

Even if I agreed that was probably true, he was still being stupid. Logan hadn’t ever marked anyone else – so he said, and I believed him on that much, considering how rarely he interacted with non-werecreatures – so why would he know how to take it back? Did Saxon even know for sure he could take it back? I sure didn’t. Maybe it would kill me just to take it out. Did he know that, too?

I was going to spit these words at him as I was starting to see red, too, but again he knew them before I even had the chance. Finally Saxon looked down at me, and now his angry thoughts were hitting my head, hard and fast.

So what if he’d never done it before – Saxon could figure it out, and quickly. It wasn’t anything close to what he had marked me with; it wasn’t something irrevocable short of death. Therefore, his power would be stronger, and that meant strong enough to save me from any possible repercussions. Though, he didn’t honestly believe it would hurt me in the slightest. It might hurt Logan, but that seemed doubtful. Even if it was a tricky ritual, it must not be fatal. Werecreatures could hardly ever mark anyone, and it was always something to do with affection and protection anyway – not like vampires, who had different kinds of marks, some of which eroded your free will permanently. So it wasn’t ever meant to hurt and there was no good reason for Logan not to do it.

It was then that I visibly saw the change in his face when he found my memory of the conversations held just before the spellcasting. I hadn’t planned on really talking to him about whatever weird emotional problems Logan had with me, but it didn’t matter now, because he knew every word we’d exchanged. And then, though I wasn’t sure it was possible, he got even angrier.

He wants you? Of course he fucking wants you. You thought he really ever gave up on that? Having you work for him is only one step in his master plan, and everyone knows it. Every-fucking-one except you, because you think just because you have to see him and talk to him now that you work for him – which I already don’t like – that you two have to have this great friendship. You don’t, Nicci, and even if you want it, he’s never going to give it to you. He’s not your friend. He won’t be your friend as long as you’re with me. I know exactly how he feels because I’m the exact same way. I tried living without you and I can’t do it. I can’t be anything but in love with you. I don’t know how to have friends. How would I? And how would he? People like him don’t have friends. His whole life has no consequences, and you know it. All he wants is to keep after you until, eventually, he thinks he can win – and he’s going to keep trying no matter what because there are no consequences. You’re always going to come back. Because you work for him. And you’re marked by him. Do you not understand this?

I was mad at Logan for exactly that – though I had never thought about it so clearly as to think I was mad because he deliberately pursued an agenda despite my arguments. I was always mad at him, anyway – because he was bad at having friends. Saxon was right about that much and no one needed to convince me.

But forcing some crazy ritual or attempt at one right now which could possibly hurt him or me was just fucking wrong. I spoke some of what I was telepathically saying to him without even knowing it. “You said yourself you want me to have somewhere else to go in case they find me during the day. This is my only option. With his mark I can open sealed doors and get into the underground by myself. And since I’m not looking for a permanent werepanther bodyguard whose only purpose is to open the door for me I think the right choice here is obvious.”

Our telepathic communication was unbelievably fast compared to speaking. By the time the words were out of my mouth he was answering me, and fast. If his mark and mine don’t agree about this spell, this supposedly harmless spell that only works in conjunction with all the other nonsense Tristan said, then they’re going to disagree again later about something else. And it might be something worse that time. I only pulled you out of it by feeding and strengthening my marks. I have two marks in you, Nicci – and if you ever want any more you have to get rid of his. It’s too dangerous to combine the two.

“But not right now!” I insisted, nearly yelling in his face.

“When?” He growled back.

“When is it going to be safe for me?” I countered.

He scowled harder. “The sooner we get the fuck away from this place.”

I rolled my eyes. Yeah right, because being in New York was what was dangerous, here. I didn’t even have to say anything about that. Instead, I turned to Tristan, who was part of the audience trying to keep up with our half-spoken argument. “Did the spell work? Even if it fucked with me?”

“As far as I can tell,” he said. “When you… uh… passed out I managed to direct the rest of the energy pretty well. It was powerful, though – you’re almost too good at this.”

“So this place, right here,” I waved one hand around to the whole of the room, “is safe from anyone who’s not in the pack?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Thank whoever you believe in for that much. And,” I looked back at Saxon, “you can still get in and everything, so hooray.”

“I told you my mark on you was strong enough to channel it,” he reminded, in a slightly-less-menacing tone.

I was sick of hearing the word ‘channel.’ It was like it just ‘channeled’ pain directly into my forehead. “Good job Saxon. You were right again.” I rubbed my eyes and went toward the door Tristan stood in. “I’ll get my shit together so we can leave.”

No one stopped me from leaving the room, and I was glad. I felt angry in a way I hadn’t ever really felt before – because at least half of it was fueled by Saxon’s emotions. I knew it didn’t make sense to be mad just because he was mad, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t distinguish between his emotions and mine clearly enough to ignore it. If someone had picked a fight with me just then, I wasn’t really sure what would happen.

Saxon followed me immediately, and I hoped vehemently that he realized what kind of argument we would have if one started when we were both like this. “How did you get here so fast? In the daytime?” I asked, before he had a chance to speak.

“As soon as it happened, I felt it – I mean, I felt your pain. I panicked. I just put on this jacket and flew as fast as I could.”

I turned to look at the jacket in question; it was more of a zip-front hoodie, and I figured he had just put the hood up and risked it. “You could’ve been burned,” I said, feeling a pang of fear in my chest.

“It’s only direct sunlight that burns,” he said. “It was faster than trying to find a way underground. I didn’t waste any time. If I’d gotten here much later, it would’ve hurt too much… to… um…”

My eyes widened when I realized what he was accidentally revealing. “It hurt you, too? The spell? Are you serious?”

He nodded, still posed in his traditional arms-crossed stance. “I told you, this mark is serious. Anything that happens to you, I’ll feel it. How else would it have woken me up?”

“Yeah, but…” I trailed off, hating to imagine it – him waking because I was in that much pain. Of course he’d panicked… when his dream had given me part of the pain he felt, I thought for sure he was dying, and I panicked then, too. This hurt so much worse than that.

He didn’t say anything, and I figured he didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Neither did I, anyway. I turned back to the counter, where Tristan had moved my belongings so he could use the table. It was still mostly cloudy outside, but there was no way I’d let him risk that if I could help it. “How do you want to go home, then?”

“We can just get a cab. It’ll be fine.”

According to the kitchen clock, it was only two thirty. Loitering around here for another three hours or so did not sound like a wise idea, even if it would be safer than risk the outdoors before dark. I knew in the back of my mind that he would not use the underground passages, either – right now he wanted absolutely nothing to do with this pack of weres.

And I already felt tired enough to believe it was the middle of the night. I spied the magazine Darius had left on the counter earlier, and I picked it up, distracted. “Sure, whatever,” I muttered, turning to show him. “Did you see this?”

I knew he hadn’t ‘seen’ it – what I really meant was, had he viewed it in my head or not. He snorted in amusement. “You’re his mystery girl now? Are you serious?”

“That’s what it looks like I guess.” Somehow, they had taken a picture of him standing close behind me, saying something in my ear, his hand on my arm. I was pretty sure that he would have been asking me if he should go for help or not. Luckily there was no sign of anyone else, good guys or bad. I wondered if they had edited the picture so it looked like we were alone in the park together.

“I thought he signed a contract to prevent this kind of thing from happening?”

I shrugged, unsure of the legalities. “I don’t think anything can prevent tabloids from speculating. I’m pretty sure he just agreed not to be interviewed by anyone else.”

“Fantastic,” he muttered. “So, what – you want to cut your hair or something?”

I blinked at him in confusion for a minute. There hadn’t been a real reason I’d shown him the picture, just to update him on current happenings. But he seemed to think I was worried about…

I could only stare once the thought struck me. He thought I was worried about people finding me – people who had thought I was dead – people who I had left behind when I was human.

“Sorry,” he said, wincing. “I thought you’d already thought of that.”

One hand on the counter and maybe I wouldn’t faint. “Holy shit.”

He rushed to answer. “It’s all right; it’s not the greatest picture of you, anyway. I mean, it’s not that recognizable for someone who hasn’t seen you in over a year.”

I thought it was probably more like two years, but he did have a point. “I – I know. So you think I should change what I look like even more?”

The corner of his mouth pulled to the side in an unhappy grimace. “Other than a haircut, what did you want?”

A strange, unhappy pang popped up in my chest, and was gone. Belatedly, my mind translated it as one of his emotions – he didn’t want me to cut my hair. “Nothing,” I said immediately. “You’re right, anyway. We already have to lay low; I’ll just wear hats and sunglasses or something.”

Now he was trying not to smile, like he thought I was cute. “All right.”

I studied the magazine for another minute, wondering if I should take the time to read the article just in case there was any information about me – or any more rumors, I should say. Before I could decide, my cell phone started ringing again. I was starting to hate the thing. When I didn’t recognize the number, I looked to Saxon for direction, and he only shrugged. “If the spell worked, you’re invisible right now, anyway.”

True. Also, that was a weird thing to wrap your mind around. “Hello?” I answered, guardedly.

“Hey Nicci, guess what?”

It took me a second to recognize the voice as Hannah. I wondered only briefly before I remembered that she’d never called me from anywhere but the hospital, and of course she would have her own phone. “Um, what?” I answered, for lack of anything clever.

“My water just broke!”

She squealed it so joyously that I really thought she must be kidding. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious! Anyway I guess the labor doesn’t take so long for us as it does humans so Charlotte is about to start inducing something or whatever but it looks good right now!”

Her words were running together, but I figured at least she was happy; I’d expected her to be scared. “That’s great,” I started, but she went on just as giddily.

“Yeah I know! And I think my boyfriend might be coming to the city soon! Like this week or something. Nicci, you don’t have to come now, I mean it’s like forever until actual birth you know, but maybe tonight or tomorrow can you come meet my son?” She giggled again. “Ohmygosh I can’t believe I can even say that. ‘Come meet my son.’ It’s so crazy!”

“Yeah, of course,” I said. “You’re in the underground hospital?”

“Uh-huh,” she agreed. “You have to come meet him, Nicci, and like ASAP. I mean without you he’d be in big trouble!”

“I’ll come,” I laughed a little. “Just call me whenever and I’ll find the time.”

“You promise?” She chirped immediately.

“Of course,” I insisted. “Tomorrow probably?”

“Oh definitely. And you should bring Saxon. He’s not scary – well, I mean, not as scary as I thought he’d be – but I bet he’s amazing with babies.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m not so sure…”

“Well Charlotte is giving me this death glare now so I think I better go.”

“You’re not alone though, right? I mean, other than her?” I asked, feeling protective. It was an unusual sensation for me.

“Oh no it’s okay I got a couple of the girls from the pack here for support but really I actually have been getting a lot of attention just cause there’s not a lot of births in a pack you know.” She paused only briefly for a breath. “But thanks for worrying and you know I saw you on that magazine and we have got to talk about that. I mean he is so dreamy, but I bet you know all kinds of things about him right?” She giggled, and before I could answer, she changed subjects again. “Anyway I gotta go pop this kid out before he starts clawing his own way you know? I’ll call you!”

“Bye,” I managed, before she hung up.

Saxon was staring at me and I just stared back for a second. “I could barely understand her,” he said.

“That makes two of us.”

“I thought it was still early, or a bad time, or something? She sounded so hyper, like… I wouldn’t think that’s normal,” he frowned.

“I don’t know,” I said, which he knew as he clearly heard the entire conversation. “At least one person I know isn’t having a violent crisis.” And I added, quickly, “I’ll be fine going to meet her baby, tomorrow.”

“Yeah, should be.”

“Will you come with me? She asked you to.”

He raised one eyebrow. “Surprising as it may be to you, vampires are traditionally frightening to children.”

“Oh, stop it. She doesn’t care if the baby likes you or not, she just wants you to show up. It’s not hard.”

“Hm,” was his answer. “Let’s get out of here.”

Like that, the brief distraction of Hannah’s good news was forgotten and I remembered everything else that was going on. It made my head hurt. “You really want to call a cab? Can’t we just go underground? It’s going to cost a fortune to get there from here and it takes so much longer.”

Saxon glowered at me for a second, but when he didn’t immediately argue I waited to see what he’d decide. It seemed like a colossal waste of time trying to get home otherwise, and only to prove the point that he was pissed off at Logan. Right now, I didn’t at all care what male ego dominance game either of them was playing, I just wanted to lie down. And for some reason, I couldn’t put what Hannah said fully out of my mind. I’d thought she’d be scared to have a baby – hadn’t she always seemed that way before? And now such a change of heart…

“Has Logan strengthened the wards underground?” he asked, then.

“I have no idea,” I said, surprised that I’d forgotten about that.

“I don’t know if I could get inside even with your connection. After all, if I can, it’s pretty likely that other vampires can, so long as they mark pack members. Doesn’t seem very safe.”

“This is fucking ridiculous,” I complained. Not too long ago life had seemed to be heading in an upwards direction, and now everything was so complicated and difficult. Even just traveling between two places in the city was confusing.

“I can try if you really want,” he said finally. “It might be useful to know in case I need to find you again sometime.”

“I’ll just ask first,” I said, and he looked mad again. “Seriously, I’m not walking out without at least saying goodbye just because you’re mad, Saxon.”

“I’ll be here,” was his reply. I hated when he was like this. I ignored him and walked back into the other room.

In my preoccupied state, I hadn’t noticed that there was so much talking going on until I was already inside. When I opened the door, a big, square-looking man I had never seen before was standing just beside it, but he ignored me completely. From his muscle-bound appearance, and the fact that he was a werepanther, I figured he was a bodyguard, maybe from the cars outside? But I only wondered for a second, because in the short time I had been gone, a lot of things had changed.

Logan was standing in the middle of the room with his shirt off, talking in what sounded like his most reasonable voice with Cernion, while Juliette crouched by his feet, digging through a big plastic bag and muttering complaints. Adrian and Darius were still there, and Darius was pacing around wearing one of those cell phone headsets looking annoyed at whoever he was talking to, while Adrian was standing off to one side with Chancy, both of them looking very unhappy at whatever they were talking about. Tristan was shoving things in his bag as fast as he could, clearly in a hurry to get out of here.

My curiosity went crazy and I really wanted to know what was going on, but before I had a chance to do more than take it all in, Cernion said, “Nicci! Nicci, you have to help me.” Never a good start to a conversation. He came over and took my arm in his hand as though he wanted to drag me across the room, which he had a tendency to do. I followed so as not to suffer shoulder dislocation.

“Help you with what? What the hell is going on in here now?” I asked, giving Logan a questioning look.

“Explain it to her and she’ll tell you it doesn’t make sense,” Cernion said to him, in a demanding tone.

Logan simply looked amused as he watched the scene Cernion was making, or because I looked so confused, probably. Whatever he had going on, I didn’t really think I could talk him into or out of anything, not even to make Cernion happy, and from the look on his face Logan knew that, too. But he told me anyway. “I did not want to bother you with more stress, Nicci, and so unnecessarily, as this event is something that has been scheduled and planned already. But very well. Tonight I will be holding a press conference to show my pack’s willingness to cooperate with the city of New York, as well as convey my wishes for an easy, seamless integration of my people into what you could refer to as ‘human society.’”

“Sounds… complicated,” I said, staring at him.

Juliette stood up and handed him a shirt from the shopping bag. He took it, looked at it, then handed it back to her without a word. She glared at him with a look so evil I was actually a little surprised he didn’t catch on fire. “What, what’s wrong with this one?” She demanded.

He shrugged, only glancing at her. “It’s not right.”

“I do not get paid enough for this,” she muttered viciously, and stalked out of the room. I heard her shouting at someone but I didn’t know who.

“Excuse the interruption,” Logan said to me, strangely diplomatic. “As I was saying, tonight is the first public conference between any major werecreature pack and the human society. It is vital that I seize this chance to distinguish my pack as one functioning with unprecedented power, if you will. I will have my best guards with me. I will also-”

Cernion broke in. “He wants me to go too. Nicci, it’s not a good idea. It can’t be. Why would I want more attention?”

I blinked at him, then back to Logan. “That’s what this is about?”

In his very best patient tone, he explained. “Without my assistance, Cernion has gained some level of public interest. He has already been attacked once since I extended my pack’s protection to him. I want to be very clear to whoever may be watching that he is a valued member of…”

“You’re just showing off,” Cernion grumbled, sounding very much unlike his usual self.

Logan didn’t change his expression from the blank, somewhat amused one he had been wearing the whole time, but I was sure he must be getting annoyed. I ignored the whiny unicorn for a moment and said, “You’re going to be doing all the talking, I’m sure. You want him to just show up and look pretty for the cameras, right?”

He smiled, like he couldn’t help it. “Not my choice of words, but yes.”

“It doesn’t sound so bad to me,” I admitted reluctantly, looking back at Cernion. “Yeah, it will get you more attention, but if you’re up front about this, it won’t ever be able to come out later and make you look bad.”

“How could this make me look bad?” he demanded.

“I don’t know, maybe… maybe your having a connection to the pack will end up being something important. How should I know what’s going to happen? Maybe no one will care about any of this in a month. Maybe not.” Exasperated, I made a helpless gesture with both hands. “What do you want me to say?”

“And you won’t come with me,” he complained, more to himself than to either of us.

“I would never allow you there, Nicci,” Logan said sternly. “It is too dangerous for you to be seen like that again.”

“I wasn’t jumping up and down with excitement to go, you know,” I said, irked at his parental tone. “But you shouldn’t force him to if he really doesn’t want to. You’re the boss of a lot of people, but neither of us is in that category.”

As usual, when he grinned before answering me, I had a moment to reflect that I would probably not like what he had to say. “But I am your boss, Nicci, remember?”

I glared my best glare. “After a day like today, I’m only happy that you won’t fire me even if I break your nose again.”

He chuckled but was prevented from answering as Juliette stormed back into the room with a different bag in her hand. “I swear to God, Logan, if one of these isn’t good enough you’re going to the damned press conference without a fucking shirt.”

Glancing into the bag, he pulled something out – I assumed it was different, but honestly it looked like the exact same black shirt he had denied earlier – and said, “Thank you Juliette, this will be fine.” And he turned back to me without giving the shirt another look.

I looked at her because, unlike him, I was aware of the fact that she wanted to strangle him. Her gray eyes looked back at me for a moment. “You couldn’t have distracted him before he turned down the first three?”

Again, before I could think of a suitably witty response, I was distracted. This time, it was Chancy – someone had made him put on a collared shirt and dress pants, and he looked absolutely miserable. “Nicci, are you going already?” He asked, screwing his eyebrows into a worried expression. “Do I have to wear a tie?”

“I doubt it,” I said, looking him over. “You look adorable, Chancy. Where did you get dress clothes?”

“Adrian brought them for me,” he said. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, “but I’ll watch on TV, okay?”

“I’ll wave for you!” He said eagerly, but I shook my head, not wanting him to get in trouble over it.

“No no no, just do whatever it is you have to do, but try not to get anyone’s attention. No waving,” I said, wincing at the image of Logan trying to be serious while in the background Chancy was jumping around like a lunatic.

“Oh, fine,” he sighed long-sufferingly. “Well, watch on TV then, will you come back tomorrow?”

“I don’t know,” I said, and the depressing reality of what had happened to my life came back full-force.

“Don’t look sad. I’m sorry,” he apologized immediately, and hugged me.

Add one to the infinite number of times Chancy had cheered me up. “I’m okay,” I insisted, and looked back at Logan, who was watching me as per usual, although he had taken the time to put on the shirt Juliette had brought him. “What time is the shindig?”

He was quiet for just long enough that I figured no one had ever said ‘shindig’ to him before. “Six thirty,” he said.

“I’m sure you’ll be on every channel,” I said.

Cernion was still standing beside me, but he was brooding and looked quite unhappy. “Call me later if you want,” I offered, feeling guilty. Of course he wouldn’t want to go on camera – and for that matter, I was even more annoyed now to have been seen with him in Central Park. Now here he was going to be publicly attached to Logan’s pack, and at the rate things were going I imagined I could easily end up in the middle of some very complicated paparazzi stories.

“Yes,” he said, weird as usual.

Saxon, suddenly in my head, startled me enough where I knew everyone could tell. I had to work on that. Ask if the wards are strengthened. I don’t want to get hurt trying.

“Oh,” I said, back to Logan, “Is it safe for us to use the underground or not?”

“The protection has been increased, but only in the sense of barricading those unwanted,” he said. “I am not sure if your vampire will be able to enter through your connection or not. If not, I apologize. However, it won’t hurt him to try. Please let me know whichever is the case.”

“Okay,” I said. “If I come back in about two minutes that means it doesn’t let him in.” I desperately wanted to go home, which was the only way I didn’t mind the socially awkward experience of saying goodbye to so many people. I thought to wish Logan good luck, but in a minute I was back in the kitchen, Saxon studying me, though it didn’t look as though he’d moved an inch.

“Were you watching?” I asked, and he nodded.

“I thought it’d make things easier,” he said.

“Yeah. So, he says it shouldn’t hurt.”

“So reassuring,” he muttered, but when I picked up my bag, he pushed away from the counter and led the way to the underground. There were more bodyguards by the front door, but no one stopped us.

The door opened just as easily for me as it would have any other time, and though I was worried, Saxon acted like nothing was different and walked right in after me. “I wasn’t really expecting it to work,” I said, surprised. “Do you even feel anything? He’s counting on the wards to keep everyone safe.”

“I feel them,” he said, not taking time to stop and explain. I was forced to follow him further in. “I’ve always been able to feel the wards on this place. I’d say it does feel different.” I didn’t answer, so he went on after a moment of thought. “Like if I wanted to fly, it would be harder. Anything that requires a lot of concentration would be pretty hard.”

“Oh,” I said. “So it’s working all right, I guess.”

“Whatever,” he muttered, “it takes a lot longer to walk.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say that would change his attitude from this pissed-off annoyance, so I kept my mouth shut. He didn’t offer any more conversation, so we walked through the tunnels in silence. I wondered if we would run into more werepanthers down here now that his power would be more restrained. I wondered how Hannah was doing, giving birth probably right this minute. I wondered if anything would go wrong at the press conference. And I figured if I stayed away from it, it was less likely that something dangerous would happen.