the plane had crashed on march 12, and we visited the field where it had touched down on march 22nd. i remember because it was my sister's birthday, and instead of exchanging a gift with her, i was with him.

there was still rubble, but the earth had regained most of its territory, little fingers of singed grass being overtaken by healthier blades. almost all of the scrap metal had been salvaged to redo train tracks, or for some other mandatory task that the government didn't have enough money to fund.

the news anchor had said that nearly 100 people had been boarded on the small plane, and that nearly 100 people had died that night.

i had only been in a plane once, and the turbulence had my fingernails digging into the thick cloth seat while the screams that bubbled in my throat were stifled for a need to be quiet. we were experiencing minor turbulence. the word minor meant minute, just a little - it meant i didn't need to worry.

i wondered, before this plane had begun its steep decline from the clouds, had the pilot reassured the passengers by calling it 'minor turbulence'.

josh circled the crash site, interest spiking in his bright blue eyes as he ran a hand through his bushy brown hair. there was a frown drawn on his face, and i knew by the way his brows had crinkled together that he was thinking of something important. everything was important to him, meaningful.

i went to comfort him, to cling to his arm like a parasite, but he calmly pushed me away. after realizing his cruelty, he sighed and pooled an arm across my waist.

for some reason, it felt like it fit there.

i was surprised when josh screamed the first time. it was loud, echoing across the sky and causing the fingers of trees, draped in green confetti leaves, to shake slightly. i could feel the ground swell beneath us, filling with his scream just as my chest filled with it.

"what are you doing?" i managed to breathe after the syrupy yelp had finished finally, done echoing and reverberating.

he paused, canted his head to a side and brought me closer, pulling me to the front of him so that both arms could secure me to him. "those passengers shared one of the most intimate moments of their lives together."

and he screamed again.

so i screamed too. i didn't stop until i felt my throat getting raw, and sometime during the manic screeches, our voices united into crisp, terrified rhythms and i wondered if we were channeling the screams of those nearly 100 passengers.

when we stopped, i felt a quaver in my throat and felt my heart beat wild and pump battery acid to my limbs.

i curved into josh and felt his own heartbeat in his stomach.

a thousand voices beat from us like blood and it was the most intimate moment in our lives.