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Prologue
I've learned that you can't choose who you fall in love with or when you fall in love with that person. It's like a feeling in your gut that you can't stop. You know, it's like feeling that you're falling really fast. That's the only problem with love, you're constantly falling. You don't know when or if you're going to hit the cold hard ground, crushed, or into the loved one's warm and caring arms, loved in return.
You just never know.
And that's the scary part.
It's a very scary reality for me.
I mean, I've known her for only a short amount of time but it feels like we're, I don't know, soul mates or something. I know it sounds cliché and cheesy but it's the truth. She gets me...knows me. We have tons of inside jokes that, even if we told someone else, only we would understand. We have stupid nicknames for each other because of it.
She can talk to me about anything, even girl stuff, and she knows she can trust me with it. I can tell her anything that's on my mind too and she won't judge me one bit. There are no secrets between us.
Except for this one that decided to pop up like a zit on prom night.
I know this secret is basically the only thing I could never, ever tell her about. Things would never be the same. She'd fell all weird around me and she wouldn't know what to say and she wouldn't tell me about anyone she's interested in because she would think it would hurt me.
Which it would.
See? That's just one of the little things that would make our friendship unravel at the seams.
She can talk to me about anything now. Confessing my feelings to her would be like putting a filter on our relationship. It would get too awkward and we'd stop talking to each other all together, which would suck on my part. I don't think I could live without her.
I lost count of how many times I've told her that I loved her, as a sister of course. I've told her that so many times since we first met that it's become normal, and frowned upon in some people's minds. But somehow, with time, that simple 'I love you' as a friend as turned into something much more. It now has meaning behind it.
There is no shame in hurting because you feel deeply for someone.
No matter how invincible you think you are you'll get hurt a little bit.
And the biggest pain is unrequited love.
Pain makes you grow and it makes you tougher.
It also makes you hurt and it makes you cry to sleep at night. Especially when I say "I love you" and mean it with every fiber of my being, she replies back with an "I love you, too~" and either smiles or gives me a hug...
And then I'm left wondering if she really meant it, meant it like I did. If, somewhere deep down, she meant it on a different level, not on a friendship level.
Confused yet? Welcome to my world.
Love is a four-letter word and, believe me, falling in love hurts like hell.
Falling for your best friend is even worse.
Not complicated enough for you yet?
Try falling in love with your best friend and having her find out while you were drunk.
Still not complicated?
Try waking up next to her in bed.
Try being me.
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If anyone has read this before, this is the revised version. This prologue hasn't changed, but some other chapters have. This will all be from a guy's point of view, which will be a challenge in its own. Please R&R and don't be afraid to give me some constructive criticism.