Loser

Veronica sat across from me in science, turned in her seat to bicker and bitch with her friend sitting behind her. I scribbled definitions on a piece of paper quickly, ignoring the two. I don’t talk very much at all.

“Hey, hand me that pen.” She said, flicking her wrist in the general direction, giving me an unimpressed once-over and then turning back to her conversation. I fixed my eyebrows and ignored her, pressing my pencil harder than necessary into the paper.

“Hey!” she snapped her fingers at me. I glanced up, then back down to my work dismissively. All she had to do was stretch her arm to reach it. I snorted distastefully.

“Get it yourself,” I grumbled softly. Both girls went silent, and I knew right about then I’d dug myself a deep grave. Still, I didn’t back down from what little defense I’d made.

“What?” she asked, indignity clear in her tone. I didn’t say anything, just kept on working. Sort of a weird beginning to a story like mine, but fitting nonetheless if you ever knew either of us back then.

Later that day, I went through hell, and I was sure I’d made a life long enemy. She’d bump me in the hall, scream at me in the bathroom, sick her friends on me at lunch and everything; the whole bit. People I didn’t even know their names came up to me for screaming tirades, where I’d politely as possible take whatever hey dished out. Veronica would just throw a snide smirk over her shoulder to me, and that alone was enough to put me in my place.

In simple, she made my life horrible for the remainder of the school year. Some of her friends rode my bus, and they knew where I lived. And she had friends everywhere, then those friends had friends, and those friends had friends. Half the school it seemed was turned against me because of a damn pen! I’m not the type to go to teachers and parents, say my part and leave. That, in my experience, makes things go from bad to worse. I think if I even tried to lift a finger in my defense, they’d be on me like a pack of rabid dogs.

I took it from the beginning of the year to the end. I didn’t speak a single word to Veronica, just went along with my business and waited for it to blow over like everything else seemed to. The whole thing had been over a pen, after all. I’d never known anyone able to hold such a stupid grudge for so long before, so I figured she’d eventually let it go and forget when the upcoming school year came around. I’d never met anyone like Veronica Martinez before, though. Still haven’t met a person like her.

Upon the first day back, I did my best to hold my chin up high and think optimistic thoughts. I shared homeroom, math, language arts, science, history and my art class, all with the one and only Veronica Martinez. I struggled not to look at her, or provoke her in any way, shape or form, and failed quite miserably. Perhaps she still just hated me from last year, I still don’t know. But no more did I step through the door did she lean over and whisper in another girl’s ear, who turned to stare in my direction. The girls just laughed, and I got a bad feeling it had to be about me.

My face burned, and I knew I had to be glowing like Rudolf. My dad always said you could warm your hands by my face on a cold day if you made me blush. I found a seat as close to the door as possible, and quickly pulled a book out of my backpack. I read the entire class period, and nearly ran out the door when the bell rang.

A stupid, yet pleasant part of my mind tried to reason with me. She didn’t have to be talking about me. Maybe she was looking behind me…but even that was way to far fetched to buy. Not that I had much time to debate the matter. The same girl came after me in the hall not but a minute later.

It merely started all over again, just like the year before. At lunch I was waiting for a kid to get out of the way of my locker, and I got a hard shove to the small of my back. I ran straight into people, being pushed from person to person. I let it go on, and on, refusing to fight back, letting it go until I couldn’t take it anymore.

It wasn’t until the second semester, two weeks in when my parent’s divorce finalized, I snapped back like a kicked dog. I had no friends to fight for me; I was still the new kid, for almost a year. I lashed out, gritting my teeth and clenching my fists. Veronica was in my face, not a foot between us, screaming insults at the top of her lungs.

“Shut the fuck up!” I yelled, shoving her back a few steps and pushing past her towards the crowd of human bodies. She didn’t follow. Of course her friends continued berating and harassing me, but none, not once, mentioned our little confrontation.

I forgot all about it when I got home, and slept peacefully that night. The next day, Veronica wouldn’t so much as look in my direction, and one by one, her friends began to leave me be. There was a silence between us, not even a glance shared. I moved on without a second thought, until several weeks later, I caught her watching me. I let my eyes fall, but her gaze stayed fixed on me, unwavering. I hoped to God she would leave me alone, expecting another confrontation after class. There was none, much to my surprise.

When Valentines Day rolled around and I opened my locker, a folded up a piece of paper lay atop of my books. I raised my eyebrows, and then dismissed it as a paper that had fallen out of my binder, but unfolded it anyway.

My name, Taylor, was written in bubbly, girlish letters on one side. It read ‘Happy V-day’ in big letters, my name drawn at the bottom. A kiss mark in sparkly pink lip gloss pressed onto the the letters of my name, and my stomach flopped. Who the hell had written me a love letter?

I waited, watching nervously in every class for someone to come up to me. I had a hard time imagining another girl crushing on me, but the hand writing was obvious. I’d never met a boy who could write that way before, not a straight one anyway. Nonetheless, no one approached me, not the 14th, 15th or the day after.

Weeks passed, until we were in the middle of March. In my 6th period elective, Veronica sat four tables away from me. Her eyes fixed on me for a good portion of the first forty-five minutes. My stomach felt like it was torn to shreds with anxiety when Veronica raised her hand. I flicked a nervous glance at her, and then back to my paper. Miss Lujan frowned and peered at her from over her nose.

“Yes, Miss Martinez?” She asked. Veronica made a face.

“I’m dizzy; can I go to the nurse?” She asked. Miss Lujan frowned deeper, and then strode up to her, pressing the back of her hand Veronica’s forehead. She nodded, but Veronica seemed to still be holding her breath.

“Do you need someone to go with you?” Miss Lujan asked.

“Yes. Taylor, can you take me to the nurse?” My breath caught in my throat. Me? She watched me expectantly. I barely managed a small nod before getting up to my feet and approaching her. She reached out, grabbing hold of my arm as if to support herself. Her grip wasn’t the slightest bit weak, however, and the walls of my throat stuck together. She began towing me with her when my legs refused to comply. When we were in the hall, she didn’t let go. I wasn’t sure if she as going to ditch class, or lead me into an ambush. I turned towards the nurse’s office, but she pulled me right back and toward the opposite direction.

“The nurse’s office is this way.” I said dumbly. She glanced at me, meeting my eyes for a moment. I didn’t say anything else, and let her lead me away. I kept waiting for a group of kids to jump out and kick my ass, but they were no where to be seen. She led me outside, until we were at the back of the building.

“Where are we going?” I wheezed hoarsely. She didn’t reply, and stopped when we were out of sight of all the windows. A blind spot. I expected her to pull a knife from her pocket and stab the hell out of me. I couldn’t have been more wrong I suppose.

She pushed my shoulders back, not hard, but enough to make me stumble. I hit the wall, my spine stiff as a ramrod. Wait for it…wait…and…She pressed her lips to mine. My brain shut off, just like a TV, a bright flash of light behind my eyes. Nothing made sense. Nothing at all. She pulled back, and pressed lips over mine again, sighing softly.

“Kiss me, dammit.” I just continued standing there, brain dead, like a vegetable in a soap opera. Her hand reached up, tangling roughly in my hair, her lips grinding against mine harder and harder the longer it took for me to respond. She pulled back, panting slightly, her dark brown eyes goading me into complete submission.

She bent her head and began kissing my neck; I gulped, swallowing against the thickness blocking my airways. What was going on? Suddenly, she bit my shoulder, and I let out a yelp, jerking. She pulled back, staring at me again, then took a step back. I could see retreat in her expression. I figured it was time for payback. I stepped forward after a split second of thought, resuming the escapade she’d began. Pausing to think this through would lead to cowardice and insecurity. The quicker I decided the more confidence I had to spare. I wrapped my arms around her, bent my head and kissed her mouth hard.

Our bodies pressed firmly together, chest to chest, hip to hip, barely a space between. I held her tightly, pulling her more closer against myself as my hands slid into her soft hair and ran along the coiled muscles in her back. I could count her ribs through the thin material of her V cut shirt. She slowly began backing me up to the wall again. She hurriedly unzipped my jacket, and placed both hands on my sides. Her moist mouth traced the pulsing artery in my neck repeatedly.

She closed her mouth over a particularly sensitive place on my neck, and stayed in place until the skin was bruised. She left throbbing marks all across my flesh, pulling my shirt collar aside and moving on to my shoulders. She kissed my mouth again, only for a short time, and then grabbed my sleeves, turning us around, so she was the one with her back to the wall this time. Her hands moved to guide my head down to her own neck. She moaned softly as I stumbled across tender places, sighing my name quietly. I’d never liked the sound more.

I began undoing the first few buttons of her shirt, kissing her already exposed collar bone lightly, nipping at her skin. And then it occurred to me that she could use this against me and humiliate me with it, say that I forced myself upon her. The thought barely flitted through my mind before I acted on its quick impulse. Midway across her shoulder, I bit down much harder than she had to me, not knowing what it would accomplish. I don’t know what I was expecting, but certainly not what I got. She threw her head back, hips pressing against my left leg.

“Taylor!” She called rather loudly, and I let go, stepping back. I turned and looked just as I saw a teacher storming towards us. Veronica took one look at my face, and strode forward, throwing an arm over my shoulder and throwing some of her weight onto me.

“Hey! What are you two doing out of class?” The woman called angrily, and I looked down at my feet, afraid she’d see me blushing.

“Going to the nurse.” Veronica said in her best fatigued voice. If I hadn’t known better, I would’ve fallen for it myself. As I led her back into the building, she kissed my cheek briefly, confusing me more than ever.