How Do I Continue to Love You?

How do I continue to love you, when I know I cannot trust you?

You're lies fall, as helpless prey, to your ever cocky demeanor,

Your fictions emerge mutilated from your conversations with others.

To me you lie about the smallest things; consciously choosing to deceive,

Consciously choosing to hurt me. And in this you always succeed…

Where I continue to fail. I can't hurt you as you do me. I love you.

And I mean it.

I don't attempt to deceive as you do me; I am completely honest.

In your honest kisses I find the desire to laugh, the desire to cry,

The desire to remain forever in all the emotional chaos and confusion.

I find myself in love with you, something I can't make just disappear.

Even if I want to.

When I am crying into the phone, begging you to be honest with me,

And finding my heart being assaulted by your continuation to falsify;

I don't want to love you. I want to find that I spoke far too soon.

But I can't deceive with the same believable charm that you use.

I know I should walk away from you, but I can't find the desire to do it.

How do I continue to love you, when I know I cannot trust you?