Chapter One

Lynette Barnes was dying. She’d known it long before Dr Hillside had told her; she’d known it for years.

Her broken heart had been replaced by a fatal case of Pancreatic Cancer, and it was possibly only a matter of days- weeks, at most.

For some reason that was way beyond Lynette’s understanding, her daughter, Savannah, had agreed to move in with her mother to see her through the end. It made Lynette want to snort with laughter- her daughter had probably found out about the stash of money that Lynette had hidden away, and thought that she could worm her way into Lynette’s affection, encouraging her to alter her will. Who knew, Suvannah may even be inclined to help send Lynette on her way, down into the fiery pits of Hell.

Lynette was not delusion; she knew that was where she was headed. She had done so much in her later years of life, being such a bitch to all of her family, that any good she may have done in her early years would be well and truly forgotten.

She had never been much of a mother- or a wife, for that matter. Everything Lynette may have had to offer another human being had been lost- stolen, perhaps- many years ago.

It was a blessing in disguise, really- to be reaching the end of her life string. Then maybe she could forget about everything she had once loved; and lost so suddenly that sometimes, the memories seemed like a dream, or a story told to her long ago. In any instance, Lynette was glad for an ending.

But dealing with Savannah….Lynette had never been close to any of her three children, but Savannah, being the youngest, seemed to have caught the brunt of it all. Lynette wasn’t particularly proud of how she had treated her youngest daughter, but she refused to feel guilty. It had hurt too much for Lynette to be around Savannah…She looked so much like her father, and was a constant reminder of what Lynette had had twice, and lost more times than she could count.

Enough! Lynette shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts. She couldn’t keep doing that to herself- she couldn’t, wouldn’t, live in the past. She supposed that was her punishment; she was forced to live and die acknowledging the fact that her one chance of happiness had slipped through her fingertips; and she had let it.

She looked out at the dark sky. A storm was coming; Lynette liked storms. It reminded her of him, her love. Then she realised, she was doing it again. Sighing heavily, she reached for her cane and pushed herself up from her chair. Savannah should be here in another three days, and there was a lot that Lynette wanted to do before then. There was a lot that she had to prepare.

Savannah stood there, shocked, with tears streaming down her face. It figured. It totally figured. She finally found a guy who is one minute in love with her, but then sucking the face of a tall, busty and blonde supermodel wannabe the next.

Savannah turned and hit her elbow on the door frame. The noise startled the lovebirds, and Connor’s head swung in her direction.

‘Savannah…’

I wish I’d never come. Savannah had known it had been wrong. Letting out a sound somewhere between a squeak and a sob, she pushed through the door.

The heels of her high-heeled boots echoed in the hotel lobby as she ran to the door.

‘Sav!’ Connor was running after her. ‘Oh, baby, please stop.’

Savannah froze. Anger bubbled up inside her. She spun around and slapped him. Her hand burnt, but she took no notice.

‘Baby?’ she screeched. The lobby, which had been buzzing with conversations only two minutes before, was now so silent that Savannah could hear her rapid breathing. ‘I am not your baby!’ she thrust her hands towards Connor and shoved him away from her. He stumbled backward, stunned, battling to keep a hold on the towel around his waist. ‘I am your wife.’ Savannah shoved him again. ‘How could you do this? I hate you!’

Savannah shoved him for a final time before stepping back and staring her husband in the eye.

‘I want a divorce.’

He dropped the towel.

‘I couldn’t believe it, I just could not believe it. I mean, how dare he? After all the crumbs I’ve put up with from him….’

Jennifer Hicksville raised an eyebrow. ‘Crumbs?’

‘I’m trying not to swear as much.’ Savannah explained dismissively.

‘How’s that working for ya?’ Jennifer asked, taking a sip from her cup of coffee.

‘Meh…I’m an SIT.’

Jennifer looked confused. ‘SIT?’

‘Student in training,’ Savannah explained. She stopped stirring her tea and went to sit down at the tearoom table. ‘I mean, we were trying so hard for a baby, we put the deposit down for a house…’ she looked numbly into her cup. ‘I thought everything was working out.’

Jennifer joined her at the table. ‘You’re sure? I mean, were they…?’

Savannah nodded slowly. ‘Oh yeah, the message was loud and clear. They were lumping like a pair of lepers.’

‘Ouch,’ Jennifer said sympathetically.

‘You know, I really don’t think I can be that surprised. I should have known something like this would happen. I mean, we married so young and we’d been together, like, forever.’ She fiddled with a pen on the table.

‘How’re you holding up?’ Jennifer asked with concern, reaching across the table to touch her hand.

Savannah shrugged. ‘I’m OK.’ Then she faced Jennifer head on. ‘Why do men cheat? I mean, is it just like a natural flaw? I mean, haven’t you noticed that the majority of affairs are had by men? I mean, is it because we don’t do enough for them, or, or have enough sex? I mean, what is it? Why do they feel the need to jerk off in other people’s beds when they’re more then welcome to do the same thing at home?’

Jennifer shrugged.

‘I know why. Because love’s….puddles. It’s puddly, pebbly poop. Love stinks, and marriage…Well, marriage is pretty much on the same level.’

Jennifer sipped her coffee. ‘First of all, love is great. When you meet the right person, it’s fabulous. Secondly, marriage isn’t the same. Love is the fairytale; marriage is the reality. It takes work. From both sides.’

Savannah moodily stared into her cup. ‘How could I have been such an idiot?’ she wondered out loud, mentally begging herself not to fall apart. She covered her face with her hands, took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. ‘I just need to wipe him from my life. I have to start over.’

I have to learn to live without him. She thought, but didn’t say it. She didn’t need tear-stained cheeks when she went back into the ward.

At that moment, there was a knock at the tearoom door. It was the top nurse for Wards 4 & 5.

‘Savannah, I hate to inform you, but Anita Bluetooth needs her injection.’ Margaret said, walking over to the fridge to get the milk.

‘We’ve just started…’ Jennifer began. Jennifer might be a saint when it came to love, marriage, kids…but when it came to work, particularly with matters concerning Margaret Williams, she was a downright sinner.

Savannah quietened her with a glare. ‘I’m on it,’

Mrs Anita Bluetooth was a seventy – eight year old woman who had been admitted five weeks earlier because of severe back pain. Yet since being admitted, none of the tests she’d had – X- Rays, MRIs, blood tests – had provided them with an answer.

Personally, Savannah thought that the doctors weren’t looking in the right direction; but it was not her position to say so.

‘It looks like we may have to send her to Mauston Rehab.’ Margaret was saying referring to the neighbouring hospital, about an hour north of Summer Hill. He sighed in exasperation. ‘I just wish we had been able to do more for her.’
Savannah raised her head and peered into Margaret’s face. ‘Mrs Zane, is that…humanity I sense coming from you?’
Margaret cracked a smile, the first Savannah had seen in ages. ‘Don’t let it get around.’
Jennifer scowled, and Savannah poked her tongue out at her before disappearing around the door.

‘Good evening, Mrs Bluetooth. How have you been feeling today?’
Savannah walked into Room Six, pleased to see that the large curtains adorning the window facing out onto the street had been pushed back. It was only four thirty in the evening, half an hour before visiting hours, so for the first time Savannah had seen Anita for a while, neither her husband, grandchildren or daughter were crowded around her bedside.
‘Oh, a bit achy. I didn’t really have a good night last night.’
Savannah enjoyed talking to Anita. She and her husband had travelled practically half way around the world: something Savannah herself dreamed of doing her entire life. Anita could entertain her for hours with stories from her travels.
‘OK, so what time did you have your tablets?’ Savannah asked, opening Anita’s folder.
‘About two this afternoon. But the Panamax doesn’t seem to be doing any good.’

Savannah consulted the list of medications prescribed to Anita, biting down on her lip. ‘That may be, Mrs Bluetooth, but just to be on the safe side you should probably keep taking them – at least until you see the doctor.’
Anita sighed and slumped back against the bed - head.
‘Is your husband coming this evening?’ Savannah asked, hastening to change the subject as she prepared to give Anita her injection.
‘As always,’ Anita replied, sounding a bit exasperated. ‘I just wish he would take it easy, you know? He’s working himself into the ground.’
Savannah hesitated for a moment before continuing her work. ‘You are very lucky to have such a loyal, loving and committed husband.’
Anita bit her lip, closed her eyes and nodded. ‘I know. I know…and I love him dearly. It’s just that he….he can be a little overbearing, you know?’
Savannah took a deep breath and rummaged for the needle in the little steel basin she’d brought in with her. ‘No, I don’t. Not really.’
Anita looked at Savannah quizzically. ‘You’re single?’
The tone held so much amazement and bewilderment that Savannah couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. ‘It’s not a disease, Mrs Bluetooth.’ She found it easier to pretend that she was single, rather then go into a deep explanation of her poisoned marriage.
‘No…no. That’s not how I meant it. It’s just…’ Anita threw up her hands. ‘What is wrong with the male population today?’
Savannah smiled as she filled the needle with the injection liquid. ‘You’re asking the wrong woman.’
‘No special someone?’ Anita prodded.
‘Gee, you don’t beat around the bush, do you?’ Savannah asked, still smiling as she tested the needle.
‘You have a beautiful smile, Savannah.’ Anita said softly. ‘And your eyes…They’re gorgeous. Ow!'

‘There,’ Savannah announced as she stuck a circular bandaid over the injection mark. ‘All done.’ She snapped off her gloves and bid Anita a good night before leaving the room. Finding the hallway mercifully empty, she leant against the wall, closing her eyes.
Connor had always loved her eyes and her smile.