One of the boys who’d just tried to plant his knuckles in my face was laying on his back in a pile of band aid boxes that had fallen when he hit the shelf. The other boy ran and the first boy tried to hit me with a can of shaving cream. I caught the can before it hit my face and threw it back. It hit him in the face, probably chipping a few teeth, and then I dove after him.

I wanted to fight him and actually have to fight. It was exhilarating. I didn’t know whether I should be swearing the guy’s ears off or laughing hysterically. I supposed that either would have made me look like a lunatic, so I simply kept trying to wrestle the guy to the ground and hold him still.

The poor old lady at the counter of the pharmacy tried to pull us apart. Soon, a circle of shoppers surrounded us, some yelling “Yeah, take him down!” and others crying frantically for us to stop. This was more fun than I’d had in years. I wasn’t going to stop.

I’d almost get the guy where I wanted him, then I’d let him go, and then I’d wrestle him back to the ground.

“Alright, that’s enough!” A man grabbed my arm and the arm of the boy I was fighting.

I let the boy go and stood.

“Freak.” He muttered, wiping his bleeding lip on the back of his sleeve as he turned and walked away.

“Stay put.” The off-duty, but still in uniform, police officer holding my sleeve prodded my chest with his forefinger. He let go as he walked after the boy. I didn’t dare to move. I didn’t know the exact extent of what I could do, how much trouble I could get myself out of. I stayed put.

“Hey!” He grabbed the boy’s shoulder, but the boy shrugged him off and kept walking, limping on his right leg.

I groaned as I thought of what my dad was going to say when he found out. If he finds out… The corner of my mouth pulled itself upward.

“You, with the smug face!” The officer pointed at me.

I wiped the smirk from my lips and looked at the man who’s head was not quite level with my shoulders.

“Get over here!” He demanded, pointing at the ground next to him.

The boy immediately began whimpering and begging for the officer to let him go. He swore he’d never get in a fight ever again and pleaded for the officer to not mention it to anyone.

“Neither of you is going anywhere until I find out exactly what happened here!” The officer raised his voice and placed his hands on his hips.

“Well, you see this punk here was getting some pills, and I just started making some conversation, you know, like anyone, and he turns around and slugs me in the stomach, officer, right here!” The boy lifted his shirt and pointed to a developing bruise on his flawlessly sculpted abdomen.

The officer raised an eyebrow as he surveyed my less than muscular form. I wasn’t unusually thin or fat, but I wasn’t any decent physical specimen either. The officer shifted his weight a little and tilted his head at the boy.

“That’s not what happened!” I shouted. The boy winced as I pushed him aside and stood directly in front of the officer.

“Alright, then, what happened?” The officer sucked on his teeth.

“I was standing in line waiting for the pharmacist, when he,” I nod my head in the general direction of the boy who was cowering behind a shelf of adult diapers, “comes up and, first, he tries to cut in front of me and I tell him to get in the back of the line, but he starts acting up so I just ignore him. Eventually, he goes and stands behind me, but then he tries to reach into my back pocket and take my wallet.”

“And that was when you punched him in the stomach.” The officer sighed.

“No, that was when I asked him what he thought he was doing, and then he started threatening me, so I ignored him again. Then, he grabs my shoulder and turns me around and gets in my face. That was when I punched him in the stomach.” I explained as honestly as I could, but the truth was that I didn’t ignore him at first. I punched him the stomach as soon as I felt him reaching for my pocket.

“Hey, that’s not true!” The boy came from behind the shelf, indignant that I hadn’t told the exact truth.

I made a sudden movement as if I was going to attack him again and he quickly returned to his shelter behind the shelf.

“You,” the officer looked up at me, “go home and don’t come back to this store. Ever.” He pointed to the door. I walked to the counter of the pharmacy. The lady cautiously pushed the white paper bag towards me with the tips of her fingers and as soon as the bag was in my hand, she stepped away.

I brushed past the officer and threw one last threatening glare at the boy before exiting the store.

I shouldn’t have done that. I thought, wanting to smack my head on the ground, but it would have only left a head-shaped crater. I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have done that. I kept thinking to myself as I walked down the road towards home.

The world was all new to me. I’d lived only six miles out of town my entire life, but my dad never let me off of our property, let alone in town. I crossed the street, glancing at every car, remembering every license plate number, capturing images in my mind of every person in view and memorizing every detail of every building that lined either side of the street.

I walked past a park and then a building that I’d heard my dad talk about—the library. He’d brought books to me a few times, but he was usually too busy with who knows what to go and borrow more. He had dozens of computers, but he never let me near any of them. I was only allowed outside for three hours every day. I’d spent most of my life taking care of my father, whose health had been declining for years.

Sometimes, I didn’t know why I obeyed him, but then I remembered that I was all he had. I didn’t want to hurt him, whatever the cost. He was all I had. Now, at the first test of my ability to control myself in the world, I’d betrayed any trust I’d ever gained. I did love the feeling of a challenge, but I also felt sick that I’d disappoint the only person who’d ever meant anything to me.

I stopped in front of the library door, dying to open it and instantly swallow up the contents of every book it contained, but I knew my dad was waiting for me. I walked past the library and just beyond was an indoor swim center. I smiled to myself as I glanced at all the kids splashing and playing together, wishing that I’d had some sort of friend as a child, or really any sort of friend at all.

I pressed my nose against the cold glass. I watched a girl who looked about my age walk past in a bright red swimsuit. Her light brown hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail and a shiny silver whistle was clamped between her teeth. The only girl I’d ever seen in person was my mom who died when I was very, very young. I wanted to get close enough to one to talk to them. I pressed my nose farther onto the glass as I thought about what it might be like to kiss one.

Not realizing how much pressure I was putting on the glass, a moment later I heard the window shatter and I found myself falling head first into the deep end of the pool, and instead of letting my instinctively fast reflexes stop me from falling, only one thought went through my head. Can I swim?