Brock Christner was in Ryan’s studio very first thing Monday morning with a contract for the book deal. They set a date for Ryan to come out to San Francisco, and he assured Brock he would confirm the dates with Saida as soon as she was in the shop. Brock was far more interested in Saida than Ryan cared to see, but Ryan kept things professional. By the time Brock left the studio, he could only count the minutes until the shop would open and he could speak to Saida.

Her attendance at the gallery show and request that they be friends again had given him more hope than he’d had in a long time. They had both made the effort to talk at least once a day, and there hadn’t really been any awkward moments. Seeing her dance at the party seemed to all be a distant memory; their arguments, all the ignoring they had done of each other, it all seemed like it had been so long ago. He had his life back on track now, he felt, and if he could stay focused, he was certain everything would work out for the best.

Before he had the chance to text Saida and find out what time she was working, she called the studio and asked him if he wanted to meet for lunch. He of course agreed and they set a time to meet at the diner down the street from Johnny’s shop.

He had to wait a few minutes for her, but when he heard the scrape of skateboard wheels on the cement, he knew she was approaching. His grin was immeasurable as she greeted him with a hug and he returned the embrace.

“Sorry I’m late,” she apologized. “Had one client who just would not stop talking!”

“No worries. Hungry?”

“Starving.”

They sat down to eat and talked about what had gone on with their day so far. Saida told him more about the gabby customer and Ryan filled her in on the details of his meeting with Brock.

“Those dates are fine,” Saida assured him. “I’ll let Johnny know when I get back. I’m really proud of you, Ry. I know this is huge for you.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you. Seriously. Your shots made that show the success it was. This is huge for us. You realize that right? The shots that I did, the shoots we do in San Francisco – this could be the start of a really good thing for you.”

Saida rolled her eyes. “Please. I’m definitely not a model type.”

“You’re beautiful, Saida. You’re gorgeous. Okay, maybe you’re not the traditional model, but when it comes to aesthetic photography, you don’t have to be. Your looks, your expressions, it captures the viewer’s eye. That’s what is important.”

“If you say so,” Saida chuckled. “New subject. Have you talked to Kayla at all?”

“No. Why would I talk to her?”

“Um, hello. Maybe because you cheated on her and owe her an apology for it? The two of you could still work things out.”

“I thought I made it clear who I wanted to be with,” Ryan said. “Saida, you’re not a fling. You’re not just some weird sex that happened with my best friend. I’m in love with you and you can ignore it all you want, but it’s not going away.”

“Sorry I asked,” she mumbled.

“You did tell me that you were in love with me, too. Do you remember that?”

“Ryan … I was really confused when I said that. I do care about you as more than my friend. I know that. You were the one person besides Johnny and Sophie who brought some stability to my life and maybe I mistook my gratitude for love. Don’t – don’t make that face. Whatever I am feeling now, it’s just – it’s not enough to risk our friendship over it. Not yet.”

“Then let me just tell you this one thing: I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, I’m your best friend, and I love you.”

“Thanks.” Saida gave him a genuine smile and then Ryan agreed to another subject change. The rest of their lunch went on with less tension.

Ryan paid the bill and Saida kissed him on the cheek before rolling back to the shop. She had a smile on her face the entire way back. Johnny noticed when she settled herself in his tattoo chair while he worked on a design for a client coming in later in the day.

“Ah, you must have been with Ryan,” he teased.

“Yeah, we had a good lunch. I should have asked if you wanted me to bring you something back.”

“It’s all right. Sophie is going to come by with Britton before I start on this next guy and I think we’re going to get something to eat. Are you and Ryan official yet?”

Saida frowned. “No. We’re just friends and I don’t think that will change anytime soon.”

Johnny twisted around to look at her, completely puzzled. “Just friends? Saida, you two were so in love with each other just days ago.” He lowered his voice. “You slept with him. What’s the deal now?”

“I just don’t know if I’m really in love with him. Yes, I care and I have feelings for him but I think that things being so crazy might have elaborated that into love. Ryan and I talked about it and he’s willing to give me time to figure it out.”

“You’re holding yourself back from something really good, I think. If you and Ryan think you have things figured out though, then all right.”

Saida made no further comments. She wanted very badly for her brother to tell her exactly what he was thinking but she knew that he was going to make her figure this one out on her own. She chewed on a fingernail and tried to sort through her feelings. A few minutes later, she heard a squeal of glee and looked up to see Britton running towards her.

“Auntie Say!” Britton exclaimed. Saida swooped the little girl up in her arms and hugged her fiercely.

“How are you, princess?”

“Daddy’s princess,” Britton replied, smiling triumphantly.

“Sounding spoiled as usual,” Saida said, glancing at Johnny.

“Hey Saida,” Sophie greeted, joining the group. She greeted her husband with a kiss and leaned on the nearest counter. “So did you decide if you’re coming to dinner tonight or not?”

“Uh, Soph …” Johnny interrupted, shaking his head. “I haven’t told her yet.”

“Why do you have to tell me about dinner? You know I’ll be there,” Saida assured them, setting Britton down.

“Your parents are coming to dinner tonight,” Sophie explained. “We’re telling them about the new baby tonight and we want you to be there so the whole family can be together to celebrate.”

“And Sophie thinks it will be a good time for the three of you to sit down and talk,” Johnny added.

Saida groaned. “You guys, I will talk to them. Not tonight. Not last minute like this.”

“At least come to the house,” Sophie begged. “You don’t have to talk to them, but it’s really important to me that the family be together for this.”

She held her hands up in defense. “All right. I’ll give you that much, but only because you’re my favorite sister-in-law.”

Sophie hugged her again and Saida tried to be excited with her. She hadn’t seen or spoke to her parents since Britton’s birthday party and she had no desire to speak with them. Still, Sophie had done a lot for her and if she wanted Saida there, then she could show up and keep her mouth shut.

*****

“Do they know I’m coming?” Saida called into the kitchen. Sophie was making the last minute touches on the supper meal and Saida was chasing Britton around the house while Johnny had made a beer run.

“They know,” Sophie assured her. “Your mom sounded almost happy, I think.”

Saida snorted, carrying Britton into the kitchen and filling her sippy cup with juice. “Ha, that’s unlikely. Amused is probably a more appropriate word. Did Johnny tell them anything?”

“Another unlikely event. He still is pretty upset with them for sending you away and so he only entertains them for Britton’s sake, I think.”

“Well I’m sure they couldn’t see me in any worse light than they do now.” Saida picked at a ding on the wooden table. “My last dance is tomorrow.”

“Last dance? You make it sound like this is the end of your dancing career.”

“It is, Sophie. I’m done dancing for Rave and a girl my size has no hope as a professional. Cosmetology is my expertise and I’m fine with that. I’m just nervous about tomorrow.”

“You’ll go, you’ll dance, and it will be over. You’ll be fine.”

Saida shrugged and the conversation moved on; she hoped fervently that Sophie was right.

*****

A few hours later, Johnny walked with Saida out to her car. She had survived dinner – her parents were so thrilled about Sophie’s new pregnancy, they didn’t pay her much attention. Her father asked how working at Johnny’s shop was and her mother asked about the photos Ryan had taken that she had heard from Ryan’s mother about. Saida filled her in and then the conversation moved back to Johnny and Sophie. Saida was just fine with that; the less she had to talk to them, the better.

“One more night,” Johnny commented, kicking at one of her tires.

“One more night,” Saida confirmed. “And I’m so ready for it to be over. I’m kind of nervous.”

“Maybe I should go and keep an eye on you.”

Saida shook her head. “No, Johnny. I don’t think that will make Hugo or Chris very happy. As long as I do well dancing and bring in a good amount of money, then they’ll be fine.”

“All right. Well you call me right when you get home. I don’t care what time it is.”

“I will,” Saida promised. “Thanks for looking out for me, John. I know I’ve been a pain for most of our lives, but I appreciate you still being there.”

“Saida, you’re the only sister I have. Maybe your life got a little messy, but we only have each other.”

Saida hugged him for all she was worth and promised again to call him when she got home from Hugo’s party. Johnny watched her drive away and let out a deep breath, knowing that the tension wouldn’t leave his body until she was safe in her bed the next night.

*****

The club was suddenly intimidating as Saida approached it the next night to get ready. Hugo wouldn’t be around, but at his house preparing for his guests to arrive. She momentarily wondered if his fiancée had any idea what kind of man she was marrying. Shaking out of her trance, Saida made way into the dressing room. Her usual makeup table was available and the bright lights bordering the mirror were already turned on. She took a seat and pulled her makeup bag out of her larger bag.

“And I do so love to watch you sit all dressed up and put your makeup on.” Chris’s menacing voice could be heard from behind her and his figure appeared in the mirror in front of her. She met his reflected gaze and said nothing.

“Well after tonight it won’t matter, will it?”

He placed a hand under her chin, causing every muscle in her body to tense. His fingers drifted under her chin and up into her hair. “So beautiful. It will be a shame to watch you go tonight.”

Saida pulled away from his reach and swallowed. “I have to finish getting ready.”

Chris chuckled. “Of course you do.”

Once he left the room, Saida quickly shut and locked the door. The tone in his voice was enough to get the adrenaline pumping through her veins and she feared anything was possible.

An hour later, her hair was perfectly groomed, her makeup was flawless, and her outfit was appropriately provocative. She shouldered her bag again and met Chris and the other dancers in the hallway. Chris held his arms out to her, knowing that she wouldn’t tip off any of the other dancers by acting strange. She gave him a tentative hug and he kissed her cheek.

“So good to have you back, love,” Chris told her. “Let’s go, girls.”

Saida accepted the regretful parting words of the other girls with a small smile. She couldn’t tell them that she wouldn’t be sad to not see them anymore. They all eagerly digested Hugo’s idea of how important they were and that dancing in front of these men made them some kind of VIPs to the real world. She listened to their mindless chatter as Chris drove them to Hugo’s house. She wasn’t any older than these girls but somehow she felt so much older.

Hugo’s house wasn’t quite as large as she thought it would be, and people were pouring into the front door. Chris opened the car doors and the girls stepped out. They all hooked arms, with Saida in the middle, as Chris had instructed them to do. The crowd parted like a grand sea with Moses at its shore, and they walked right on through.

They all stood seductively on the deck overlooking the party and Hugo appeared in front of them. He quieted all of his guests and introduced the girls by name, taking extra time to introduce Saida. She refrained from rolling her eyes and allowed him to lead her back inside to the main room where her box was set up. Stepping inside, she struck a pose and waited for the music to begin again. Hours passed by and she was shocked by how effortless her performance was. Perhaps the excitement in knowing that this would be the last time she would ever have to do this was behind her enthusiasm.

Finally, the last guests made their way out of the house and Chris took the girls back to the club. Hugo joined them, riding in the front passenger seat. His eyes were glazed over and the way he kept glancing at Saida made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. She resolved that when they got back to the club, she was not even going to change; she would get right in her car and go home. They pulled into the club’s parking lot and, as she feared, Hugo had other plans.

“Saida, I’d like you to come to my office with me. I have your final cut.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she told him. “I’m not interested in your money.”

“Oh, but it’s your money, darlin’. If you’re leaving, you’re leaving, but we’re going to do it the right way. I’m not going to have you come back for your money later.”

She did the math in her head and figured she had probably made a decent amount that night. She could always use the money to get Sophie and Johnny something really spectacular for the new baby. She threw her bag in the car, fishing out only her keys, and nodded. They walked silently into the office, and she remained on guard the whole time.

“I made a five thousand on you tonight,” Hugo informed her. “It’s all yours, if you can give me one more performance.”

“No,” she told him firmly. “I told you I don’t want your money. I just want to be done with you, with Chris, and with this club.”

Hugo chuckled as he went for the door and locked it. “You don’t understand. I’m not looking for a typical performance from you.”

Finally catching his drift, she shook her head even more earnestly and started for the door. “I’m not a whore.”

“But you helped your little friend cheat on his fiancée, didn’t you?” Hugo smiled. He backed her up towards the door again, placing one hand next to her head and trailing her face with his other hand. “Of course, that would make me mistaken. A whore gets paid for what she does. A slut fucks for free.”

With that he grabbed her face and planted a rough kiss on her mouth. Saida tried to push him away but he pinned both arms against the wall, snaking his tongue over her lips. She fought and screamed but no one came. Hugo backed away to remove the tie he was wearing and Saida used that opportunity to slug him across the face. It only seemed to anger him and he backhanded her before gripping the top of the corset she wore and ripping it down the front.

He again pushed her against wall, this time next to the door. His hands roamed exactly where she didn’t want them to be, and she went for her last chance to free herself before Hugo would have his way with her; she raised her knee swiftly and hit him square in the groin. It was a sharp hit and he melted to the floor, face twisted in pain.

Sobbing now, Saida didn’t wait any longer to unlock the door and race for her car. She held her arm over her chest to cover herself as much as possible, but once in the vehicle, she quickly fumbled for the spare key in her glove box and started the car. Her tires squealed as she exited the parking lot and headed straight for her safe place.

*****

Ryan was sleeping soundly for the first time in a long time when a pounding on his apartment door woke him. He tried to ignore it, rolling from his side to his stomach and attempting to fall asleep. The pounding happened again and he heard whoever was knocking call his name. Groaning, he rolled over, threw his legs over the side of the bed and made himself get out of bed. The pounding didn’t stop until the locks clicked open. Ryan opened the door and was not prepared for what he saw.

“Saida? My God, what happened to you?” She was standing in front of him with bruises forming on her face and upper arms. Her hair was in complete disarray and makeup was smeared all around her eyes. She was sobbing uncontrollably, and trying desperately to cover her chest by crossing her arms in front of her.

He pulled her swiftly into the apartment, pulling the shirt off his back and tugging it over her head. She managed to put her arms through the sleeves as Ryan locked the apartment back up; he came back to her in a strong embrace, holding her while the sobs subsided.

A/N: I have had this story outlined for a couple of months now, but apparently that doesn't make it any easier to write the chapters.

As some of you may have read in the update on my profile, it has been difficult for me to find inspiration on this story and Can't Fight This Feeling. I'm trying to tough through it, and I cannot appropriately express the appreciation I have for those who still read and review when I am able to get something posted!

Also, please check out Simply Brilliant awards. The concept behind their site is really great and I think that a lot of authors who don't get the recognitions they deserve will greatly benefit from the exposure the site brings. As it is, Johnny from this story is up for Loyal Supporting Character and Cavanaugh and Jaxon from Lost Without Each Other are up for Dynamic Duo. So please go check it out! I couldn't figure out how to link here, but there is a link on my profile.

Thank you again for reading!