Katie’s POV

Epilogue

The summer between my junior and senior year of high school was the busiest, craziest, most challenging, and most fantastical summer of my life. So many things happened, and it was hard for me to pick my favorite. But if I really had to pick, I would choose something that happened right before the summer started…I would pick the night Lucas proved to me just how determined he was to make my dreams come true, no matter how small and insignificant they might be.

He’d taken me to Savannah, torturing me the whole way there by not giving me any clues. We were alike in a number of ways and not being able to stand suspense was one of them. He’d parked his car at a movie theater and had taken me inside, not even bothering to get tickets. He’d shaken some guy’s hand, and then we were in a theater—completely alone. Lucas and Sadie had worked together and had managed to rent out an entire theater room for just Lucas and me.

It was on the steps of that room that I came across a very fantastical discovery…Lucas had my complete and total trust, without a single nagging doubt in my stubborn head. That amazing realization was quickly followed by another…Lucas was mine and he was never leaving me.

It only took eight months for him to work his magic and get me to believe those things, and although that seemed like a short time now that we’d graduated from high school, it had seemed so long back then. It had been full of ups and downs, nightmares, unwanted attention, hurtful rumors, disgruntled parents, and supportive friends. During those months, Lucas had taught me to love, to trust, to hope, and to believe. He’d taught me that a little bit of confidence could go a long way toward making the impossible possible. But most of all, he’d taught me to love myself and believe in my own worth.

When Lucas had met me, I was a total wreck—I’d have told you at that time that I was perfectly fine, but I knew differently know. I’d been rude, argumentative, and cold. I was still rude when the occasion called for it, and I still enjoyed arguing just as much as ever, but now I was the first to give a hug and a smile to my family most days. Everyone was so proud of me, and I was really proud of myself too. I’d been working hard over the last year and a half, struggling to process my mother’s complete disappearance from my life, and to move forward from thinking I’d been the reason she’d ran away from my dad and me. It still bothered me at times, but I hoped to be able to put it behind me very soon.

And I wasn’t the only one who had changed significantly. When Lucas had first met me, he’d been a complete jerk, playing the part of a playboy and dating tons of girls at school, only to ignore them afterward. He’d hung out with two of the meanest girls I’ve ever known, and completely ignored his sister and brother. But one day, for whatever reason, Lucas had decided he wanted to be my friend. And just like that, he’d started to change himself. He stopped hanging out with Ellie and Lindsey—the mean girls—and started spending time with his sister and brother, working on his relationship with them. It didn’t take long before we became best friends and practically inseparable.

Somewhere in the middle of our changes and our friendship, we fell in love with each other. Lucas realized it long before I did, and like the great guy he had become, he waited for me to figure out my feelings. It was hard in the beginning to admit how much I needed and wanted him in my life, especially with the way I’d grown up. But Lucas always found a way to make it easy for me, to make me feel like he’d never leave me or hurt me. He understood what I was scared of and why it was such a crippling fear. He understood my need for reassurance and for my walls. And he understood all of that without me having to say a word.

Besides being a fantastical best friend and a wonderful boyfriend, Lucas was also intelligent, absurdly confident, and amazingly talented. He played piano and was soon going to be a distinguished student of the Juilliard school in New York. He’d aced his recorded audition and had done even better for the live one. Mrs. Abbott and my mother—Kelly, not Rebecca—took Lucas and me to New York for the audition. We stayed in a huge hotel room, got to see all the sights together, and then were allowed to watch Lucas perform in the auditorium of the school. He’d looked so perfect up there, right at home where he belonged. I’d told him that afterward and he’d told me I was absurd, that his home was wherever I was. Lucas could be a little bit corny sometimes, but I loved him anyway.

And I especially loved his ability to not only plan crazy schemes, but execute them so that they worked out just the way he’d been convinced they would. Like when he’d decided the way to put a stop to Ellie and Lindsey was to meet with his fan club and speak with them. That’s right! I was dating a man with his own fan club, complete with brochure, club president, and weekly meetings. Lucas and I had sat in a room with thirty screaming girls, and Lucas had explained why he thought Ellie and Lindsey hated me, and that all of the things they’d been saying about me for years were lies. By the time we left that room, Lucas had those girls looking at me completely differently. Before, they thought I was just some idiot girl that Lucas would dump sooner or later. But when we left, they knew he loved me and wasn’t going to let me go, much less stand for anyone treating me badly. That one day had changed the course of our senior completely.

Well, that and Ellie and Lindsey getting themselves into big trouble right at the start of the year. Ellie Becker and Lindsey McKinney were known as “the evil twins” around our school, but few were brave enough to call them that to their faces. I rather enjoyed calling them names, but only because they’d hated me for years, doing their best to make school as hellish as possible for me. And when Lucas Abbott, the most popular boy in school had started hanging out with me, the evil twins had nearly lost their minds. I’d had to put up with pink spray paint on my car, vicious rumors about whether or not I was sleeping with Lucas to get him to be my friend, and their ever popular taunts about my mother leaving the way she had. I’d expected senior year to be just as hellish as all the others, but then the evil ones had gone and gotten themselves into trouble.

Ellie had ended up pregnant and her parents had sent her to some northern state to stay with relatives. The last Lily had heard, Ellie had given the baby up for adoption and then moved to California. Supposedly, Ellie wanted to become an actress. No one knew who the father was, but we all suspected it was Cody Landry since the two of them had always had an on-and-off relationship.

Lindsey had gotten caught in her parents’ bed with a boy by her father. He’d been so mad, he’d shipped her off to an all girls boarding school. Without any guys to chase after, Lindsey became a model student, and actually managed to finish her senior year with all “A’s” and “B’s”. She’d even gotten a small scholarship and was planning to go to the University of Georgia to study veterinary medicine. It was hard to believe it, but Lily swore her source was reliable.

And now Lucas and I were preparing for our own future. It was mid-June and in a little less than a month, we’d be moving to New York together. We were going right after his birthday.

“What are you thinking about?” Lucas asked, continuing to shower my neck with kisses. We were lying on the bed in his room, just spending some time alone. I’d somehow gotten into one of my reflective moods, thinking about our past, our present, and the wonderful future that was almost here.

“Our future,” I said with a smile. I leaned up and kissed his lips quickly. “You?”

“The same thing.”

“For always, Harvey?” I asked, looking right into his eyes.

“Absolutely, Dawson,” he promised, both with his words and those ocean blue eyes of his.

“Think we can handle it?”

“I know we can. Is that all you were thinking about? You seemed to be about a million miles away from me.”

I put my hands on his cheeks, pulling his face down for another quick kiss. “Sorry. It’s just been so long since we actually stopped moving long enough for me to think about anything. I guess I got a little lost in my thoughts.”

“The past few weeks have been pretty crazy,” he agreed.

“But we have today off,” I said, kissing his lips again. “No work. No family. Just you and me,” I continued, kissing him between each sentence.

“You and me,” he sighed against my collarbone before kissing it sweetly. He dropped down onto his side and pulled me close to him, giving me his adorably cheesy grin. “You know, I could stay right here with you and be perfectly happy.”

“You’d get bored eventually,” I chuckled.

“Not with you,” he argued, shaking his head just a little. The movement called attention to his hair and I reached up, running my hands through it.

“You need a haircut,” I told him.

“I know. It’s on the list.”

“What else is on the list?”

He propped his head up by leaning on his elbow, looking like he was thinking about it. We both knew he didn’t need to think—Lucas and I both had photographic memories. “Picking out furniture and colors for the apartment, putting the finishing touches on my party, packing up our rooms…and deciding what to do about that envelope that’s been on my desk for the last three weeks.” That last item on our latest list was something that equally excited and revolted me…it was information about Rebecca.

I stared at the brown envelope, remembering the day it had arrived. Sadie and I had been in my room, spending the afternoon together…

“No way, Sadie Michele,” I giggled, pushing her away from me. She was determined to get pink nail polish on my hands this afternoon.

“Oh, yes, Missy!” Sadie replied, laughing along with me as she tried to lock my arm under hers.

“I’m telling Lucas!” I warned her.

“I’m not afraid of him,” Sadie said, trying to act tough. Yeah, her lack of fear was clearly evident in how quickly she’d let go of my arm. Only a few things in this world scared my best friend: spiders, heights, and her older brother when he got angry.

“You are such a liar,” I chuckled, sitting up straight again.

Sadie tossed her wavy red hair over her shoulder, pretending she hadn’t heard me. “So if not pink, what color can I get you to wear?”

“Why do I need nail polish anyway? It’s just going to get rubbed off at work tomorrow when I start putting the books out onto the shelves.”

“Because we’re going out with Shawn and Lily tomorrow night, and I thought it might be nice to dress up. We haven’t had a reason to dress up lately.”

“Sadie, prom was barely two months ago,” I pointed out.

“I know!” Sadie cried, looking like I’d been talking about the unjust murder of sharks instead of a school dance.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her. “I pity the person you latch onto when you start college.”

Sadie just shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. No one can replace you, Kat. Not in my heart, and not in official best friend capacity.”

“You are such a ditz,” I chuckled, putting my arms around her and hugging her tightly. This time last year, I wouldn’t have been able to do this, but now it was nothing. It was just a way to show Sadie she was important to me.

“Well don’t you two look cute,” a familiar voice said from behind us. I jumped up and ran over, throwing my arms around Lucas as I hugged him tightly. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me back. This man was the reason I could give hugs freely, enjoy my friends, and even have a relationship with my step-mom, Kelly. I’d even started to call her “mom” out loud recently, making everyone proud of me.

“Be careful, Dawson. I might think you’ve missed me with all this excitement you’re displaying,” Lucas teased, tickling my side a little.

“Shut up and kiss me, Harvey,” I said, smiling up at him.

Lucas’s blue eyes sparkled with love and humor as he lowered his head to mine and pressed our lips together in a sweet kiss. “I missed you, too,” he whispered against my lips.

“Lucas, wouldn’t Katie look the cutest with pink nail polish?” Sadie asked.

“She hates pink,” Lucas told her.

“You are no help at all to me, big brother,” Sadie sighed.

“Is she pouting?” I whispered.

“Totally,” Lucas chuckled.

“Protect me, Lucas. Don’t let her use that pout against me and get pink on me. You know how much I hate pink,” I whispered, pretending to be afraid as I clutched myself closer to him.

He laughed and kissed my forehead. “You’re safe with me, Dawson.”

“I know,” I sighed, resting my head against his chest. And then I realized he wasn’t supposed to be here yet. He’d promised Sadie she could have me all afternoon—the two of them still fought over my attention every once in awhile. “Lucas, not that it’s not completely and totally fantastical to have you here right now, but isn’t it a bit early?”

“Yeah, Lucas! You promised!” Sadie cried. I didn’t even need to see her to know she was pouting for real now. It was all in the sad tone of voice she was using.

Lucas didn’t answer right away, which immediately set off the warning bells in my head. Lucas only hesitated when it was something bad—or that I might think was bad. He took my hand and walked me over to my bed, sitting me down next to him—definitely something bad coming.

“Katie, relax,” Lucas ordered, squeezing my hand. He always knew right when my mood changed, and what mood I was in. It was one of the many reasons I considered him to be my best friend, next to Sadie.

“I’m trying, but you know how much I hate for you to be silent and cryptic,” I told him.

“I just wanted you sitting down first, just in case,” Lucas replied. He took both of my hands into his and locked me in place with those ocean blue eyes of his. “Katie, they found your mother.”

I let out a breath, squeezing his hands tightly. I’d been waiting just about a year to here those words from him. Apparently, Rebecca was as good at hiding as she was at running. She’d left my father and me when I was seven years old, and in the eleven years that had passed since then, we’d never heard a single word from her.

“I can’t believe you actually helped her with that,” Sadie muttered. She was my biggest opponent on this thing. I understood her reasons—she was scared finding my mother would ruin everything I’d been working for in the last year and a half. Sadie was scared of loosing me now that she finally had all of me; it was a fear I understood well. And just like with me, it was a completely absurd fear because I had Lucas and I would never let anything mess that up.

“She needs this,” Lucas said simply, not taking his eyes off of me for a second.

“Is she…” I couldn’t even get myself to ask that question out loud.

Luckily for me, Lucas knew just what I wanted to know. “She’s very much alive.”

“Of course she is,” Sadie sighed. “And now that you know, you can leave it alone.”

“Sadie,” Lucas warned.

“Don’t please,” I pleaded, leaning into him. The two of them had gotten into enough arguments about this in the last year.

“It’s okay,” Lucas cooed, rubbing my back softly. “We’re not going to argue. Right, Sadie?”

“Right,” she barked. Few things ever made Sadie Abbott mad, but anything dealing with Rebecca downright infuriated her. I knew it was only because Sadie loved me so much, but right now, I didn’t need her anger.

I took a deep breath and did one of the other things I’d learned was important in the last year—I told Sadie exactly what I needed from her. “I know you don’t understand, and I’m not asking you to anymore, but I really can’t take you being pissed off right now, Sadie.”

“Fine,” Sadie sighed. “Where is the Wandering Rose anyway?”

“I don’t know,” Lucas told her. “The package arrived this afternoon, but I didn’t open it.”

I looked up at Lucas, feeling scared and nervous for no particular reason that I could pick out. “So soon?”

“You don’t have to look at it until you’re ready, Katie,” Lucas assured me, rubbing my arms lightly. “I’ll keep it in my room until you want it.”

“I’m only asking for informational purposes,” Sadie announced. “Do Brian and Kelly know what you’re up to?”

“Yes,” Lucas and I said together.

I rested my head against Lucas, turning so that I could see Sadie. “We debated for a long time over whether or not to tell them, and then we decided that they should have the right to decide for themselves if they wanted to know whatever we found out,” I explained. “Rebecca left my dad, too. And if it wasn’t for the way she left, I never would’ve had so much trouble accepting Kelly into my life.”

“Sadie, I know you’re worried, but you don’t have to be,” Lucas told her.

“He’s right, Sadie. It’s not like I’m just going to rip into this envelope. Lucas is going to look at it first, just to make sure there’s nothing too over-the-top. You can even preview it with him if it’ll make you feel better,” I offered.

“Yeah, I think I will do that,” Sadie agreed. “And now that you’ve delivered your news, get out, Lucas,” she added, pointing at my bedroom door.

“You’re lucky I like you, Pippi,” Lucas said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “Otherwise, you’d wake up with all that red hair of yours missing.”

“And then Shawn would kill you,” Sadie replied instantly.

“Probably,” I laughed, getting in one last hug before Sadie decided to forcibly remove Lucas.

He tilted my face up to his and kissed my lips softly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I promise.”

“On the moon?” he asked with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at him, amazed that he still loved hearing my reply to that question so much. And because he loved it and I loved him, I gave him the answer he was looking for. “Never on the moon, Lucas. It’s too fickle with the way it goes and comes, and is never the same from one day to the next. I only promise on things that last forever, but only if I really mean it.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “So I promise on my love for you because I’ll always love you and I truly do mean it.”

“Aw! So sweet! Now knock it off and get out of here, Lucas,” Sadie demanded.

He chuckled at her as he kissed my lips once more. “I love you. I’ll see you in a little while for our big date.”

“You better be on time,” I warned him. I was only joking, though. Lucas had never been late for anything in his whole life.

“As if anything could keep me away from you longer than I have to be,” he said, kissing me a few more times.

“Lucas,” Sadie warned.

“I’m going,” he chuckled. He kissed me one last time and then he left the room, closing my door behind him.

“Finally,” Sadie huffed.

“You know, Pippi, you’re a lot more fun when Caleb is around,” I joked, grinning at her. I slid off the bed and sat next to her on the floor again.

Sadie took my arm into her hands and put her head on my shoulder. “When that man gets off work tonight, he is going to be very, very busy reminding me why I love him so much.”

“Is that another of your barely veiled references to the obscene amount of sex you plan to have with him when he gets you alone later tonight?” I chuckled.

“Yes,” Sadie agreed with a big smile. “Yes, it is.”

Sadie had decided she was ready to share herself with Caleb at the end of last summer, just days before he’d left for college. I’d managed to keep her from giving me exact details, but only because Lily had been more than happy to hear it all. Apparently, the first time had been really awkward and short, but once they’d relaxed, it had been as beautiful as Sadie had always fantasized it would be. And every time they’d seen each other since, they always “reaffirmed” their love.

It was actually a little funny how Lucas and Shawn had reacted to the news that their baby sister was no longer an innocent little girl. Lucas hadn’t really known what to say to her—He said it felt weird to be older than her and have her being more of an adult than him. My reminder that she’d always acted older than him was met with a grunt of disapproval—and then he’d pushed the thought away, pretending he didn’t know a thing about his sister’s love life. Shawn had gone the opposite way, which surprised us all. We’d expected him to flip out since he’d always been so protective of Sadie, but instead, he’d congratulated her and bought her a little cake to mark the occasion—the top of the cake had said “Bow-Chicka-Wow-Wow”. It was totally a Shawn thing to do.

“Katie, are you really truly sure you want to look into that envelope?” Sadie asked, boring into me with those hazel eyes of hers. She was pleading for me to change my mind, but I couldn’t. I needed to know what my mother had been doing for the last eleven years.

I took a deep breath and hoped my best friend would find a way to understand my answer. “Yes, Sadie. I want to, but just not yet.”

That had been weeks ago and I still hadn’t found the courage to peek inside.

Lucas took a strand of my hair into his hand, twirling it around his fingers and calling me back to the here and now. “I could just throw it away,” he offered, trying to look like he was being casual. He couldn’t fool me anymore than I could fool him. His jaw was all tense and his eyes were a darker blue than they’d been earlier.

I rubbed his shoulder, hoping to soothe him a little. I appreciated that he’d helped me find her, even though he hadn’t really wanted to. “I love you. Whatever I find out about from that package over there isn’t going to change that.”

Lucas wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me on top of him. “That’s not what I’m worried about, Dawson.”

I put my hands on his chest to steady myself as I looked down into those amazing blue eyes of his. “Then what’s bothering you, Harvey?”

“I’m worried that the answers you’ve been searching for aren’t going to be in there and that you’re going to want to go and see her,” he admitted. “Katie, I can’t let you do that. I can’t risk losing you like that.”

“Hey,” I said, taking his face into my hands. “You’re never going to lose me, Lucas. I love you too much to ever let you go. Remember?”

“I remember,” he agreed.

“Lucas, did I try to run that night at the theater when I figured out I trusted you completely?” I asked.

He smiled and leaned up, kissing right under my jaw. “No.”

“Did I run when my body changed and I got boobs?”

“No,” he snorted, trying hard not to laugh out right.

Once I wasn’t such a mess from Rebecca leaving, I didn’t have trouble remembering to eat anymore, which had resulted in me reaching a healthy weight for once in my life. I was fine with the pounds, but the boobs were taking some getting used to. I’d never been a girly girl and having to deal with bras was something I found completely annoying. At least when I’d been smaller, I could get away with just wearing a tank top underneath. Not anymore though. On the plus side of that, Lucas didn’t mind at all. He was actually getting pretty good with the clasps too. We still weren’t having sex, but we’d moved a little further along those bases Sadie and Lily loved to talk about so much.

“And did I run when your body changed and you started sprouting hair all over?” I asked.

“All over?” he cried. “What do you mean all over? It’s just my chin and chest.”

I sat up and lifted his shirt, running my hands through the soft hairs that had grown right in the middle of his chest. “Yeah, but it’s this big crop right in the middle,” I said, pretending to be serious.

“I’ll shave it if you don’t like it,” he offered.

“Don’t you dare!” I said, slapping him playfully. “It’s cute.”

“You just made it sound disgusting and now you’re telling me it’s cute? What is with you today, Dawson?”

“I’m just enjoying teasing you,” I laughed, leaning down and kissing him.

I’d meant for it to be a quick kiss, but Lucas had other ideas. He wrapped his arms around my back, holding me to him as he attempted to deepen our kiss, sliding his tongue along my lips.

But he’d put the envelope into my mind and now I couldn’t seem to get it back out. I pulled away and sat up again. “Lucas, I think I’m ready.”

“How did I know this was going to happen?” he groaned. “It’s our one day off, Katie. Please wait for another day.”

I pouted at him, jutting my lip out like I’d seen Sadie do so many times. “This might be our only day alone before we move.”

“Great! We can wait and look at it with your parents.”

“Am I going to hate the information that much?”

Lucas took my hands, locking our fingers together. His eyes stayed focused on our joined hands as he spoke, a sure sign that he was completely nervous. “Maybe I’m just that afraid of how it’s going to affect you.”

I lowered my head, making him look at me. “Are you going to let me go back to the way I used to be?”

“Never,” he promised, his jaw growing tense again.

“Do you think I’m going to let myself be that way again?”

He gave me a little smile. “No. I think you’d beat the snot out of your own self first.”

“So if you’re confident about that stuff, why are you so worried?”

He finally gave me a real smile. “Guess you’re ability to be absurd is rubbing off on me.”

“Look, if you really don’t want to go throw the stuff today, we can wait,” I told him. Lucas had done so much stuff for me since we’d become friends and I owed him big time. So if he wanted to do this another day, we would.

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I think we should get it done before we leave for New York, and this really might be our only chance of doing that. So get off me and I’ll grab it.”

“Are you sure, Harvey?”

“No, Dawson,” he sighed, brushing my hair off my shoulder. “But you are and that’s good enough for me.”

I moved to sit on the end of the bed as Lucas stood up. He walked over to his desk and grabbed the envelope, his shoulders slumping a little as if the thing weighed thirty pounds or something. He turned and came to sit beside me, carefully dumping the contents of the envelope onto the bed. With shaking fingers, I reached out to grab the first item and hopefully, the first answer to all of the questions I’d always had about my mother.

We spent the entire afternoon locked up in Lucas’s room with that envelope. There were pictures of my mother taken just one week ago, along with notes about her daily activities, her job, and the places she’d lived in the last eleven years. I found out I was an only child, which I was extremely grateful for. I also discovered that she’d moved around a lot, until a few years ago when she’d ended up in Wyoming, living and working on a horse ranch. She’d stopped running, but she had no one. There wasn’t anything at all in the paperwork about her having one single friend in any of the places she’d lived, or even in her current hometown.

Lucas was quiet the whole time, sitting beside me and rubbing my shoulders. I didn’t know if it was for my comfort or his, but either way, I was grateful to have him there. I carefully put everything together and stuffed it back into the envelope. I turned toward Lucas and handed it to him.

“Why are you giving me this?” he asked, taking it from me.

“Do what you want with it.”

“You’re not planning to keep it?”

“Why would I? I learned what I needed to know.”

“Really? This is really the end of you worrying about Rebecca?” he asked, looking extremely excited.

“Yeah,” I chuckled.

“I…I can’t believe it,” he stuttered, his blue eyes wide with his shock.

I took his hand into mine and kissed his palm, like he was always doing to me. “If I had been the reason for her to run, she would have stopped long ago. But she didn’t, so that means that whatever’s wrong with her is her own problem. She lied, Lucas.”

“Yes,” he said, nodding his head excitedly as he pulled me into his lap. “Yes, Katherine. She lied. And you know it and you believe it now.” He crashed his lips to mine, sharing his excitement with me.

I laughed into his mouth, surprised and elated that all that tension seemed to have melted away from him the second I’d given him back the envelope.

“I want to take you to dinner,” he whispered, kissing along my jawline. “Please.”

“For what?” I laughed, pulling away from him.

Lucas growled and playfully tackled me onto the mattress. “Because I love you and I want to celebrate with you.”

“What would we be celebrating?”

He ran his finger along the side of my face, giving me such an intensely loving look. “A fresh start, both with college and the way you look at yourself.”

I used his collar to pull his face closer to mine. “I do feel different. Lighter. Like a big weight is gone from my shoulders.”

He lowered his head and placed a kiss over my heart before returning his eyes to mine. “It’s gone from your heart, Beautiful. And now you have plenty more room for all the wonderful people in our family, and all the new people we’ll meet while in New York.

As we looked at each other, there was love, want, trust, and an excitement for our future flowing between us. The last year and a half with Lucas had brought me things I’d never even dared to dream of, like love and real friendships. And I couldn’t wait to find out what else a life with Lucas would bring to me…to us.

Thanks for Reading!!

The third story is now up - Courageous Love