It would be good to give much thought, before

You try to find words for something so lost,

For those long childhood afternoons you knew

That vanished so completely --and why?

We're still reminded--: sometimes by a rain,

But we can no longer say what it means;

Life was never again so filled with meeting,

With reunion and with passing on

As back then, when nothing happened to us

Except what happens to things and creatures:

We lived their world as something human,

And became filled to the brim with figures.

And became as lonely as a sheperd

And as overburdened by vast distances,

And summoned and stirred as from far away,

And slowly, like a long new thread,

Introduced into that picture-sequence

Where now having to go on bewilders us.

I heard the poem with so much interest. For some reason it made the hairs on my arms stand. My breaths came in huffs. I could literally feel the blood draining from my arms and legs. I don’t know why but the poem frightened me. To me, it meant what we had lost. When we were children, we were innocent. We lost that innocence and it was replaced by violence and lies. I knew life had changed but it didn’t mean it had to be so cruel.

The teacher stared at us with hope that someone had been listening enough to want to give their opinion. I looked around the room to see everyone doing something else. One girl was chewing gum while looking at her nails; a boy was texting, and my best friend Erin was just looking into the distance. Her expression held something unusual and intriguing. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking about. Something in those eyes illustrated wisdom. Maybe she too had thought what I did.

“Anyone?” Mrs. Cecily asked desperately. I just stared at Erin hoping she would answer. Erin’s expression didn’t move. Her eyes were unfathomable. There was something lying behind them.

I shot my hand up in the air. Mrs. Cecily automatically beamed, “Yes, Nadia?”

I cleared my throat. “I think she meant we’re no longer innocent.” I went on to explain how the poem made me feel. Mrs. Cecily was both shocked and proud.

It was already lunchtime. I was starving.

“Erin” I mumbled in singsong.

Erin raised an eyebrow at me suspiciously. “You want to go out to eat,” she answered.

It was funny how she knew me so well. Of course we were best friends.

Being senior had its privileges, one of them being able to leave campus to eat lunch. We were all craving Burger King, which wasn’t far at all. Not only were Erin and I going to eat. Charlie, Noelle, and Victoria were coming as well. When we got in the car, it didn’t want to start. Erin had to try to start it about five times before it actually did. My stomach was churning by the time it was already on.

When it finally turned on, a girl named Reese who was giving Charlie an assignment she hadn’t finished held her back a few minutes. Charlie hopped into the car excited she didn’t have to do the homework on her own. She snapped open her notebook and copied what the other girl had written.

“Marie, you are such a cheater,” I mumbled. She was sitting next to me with her nose practically in the notebook.

“Yeah, well at least I’m not like little miss Erin over there” Marie replied.

Erin snapped her head back at us at a stop sign. “What? What do you mean?” Her long black hair accentuated her beautiful pearly white teeth. I always admired her beauty. She was a subtle yet demanding beauty. Erin’s skin was a beautiful dark caramel color that went so well with her dark eyes and dark hair.

Charlie chuckled. “You know. Flirting with Eric so he’d give you the answer sheet.”

I was sitting behind Erin so I could see through the rearview mirror how she slightly smiled. “Don’t be dumb Charlotte. I have a boyfriend.” Erin took her usual proud position when she said “boyfriend.” We all knew she loved him more than life itself. Lately she had been talking less about him though. Maybe they were going to break up. If they did break up girls would be happy. He wasn’t an unattractive guy at all. Actually he was really good looking and sweet.

We were all smiling at Erin’s answer even though I knew it spiked a bit of jealousy in Charlie and Victoria. I watched as neither of their eyes crinkled, which meant it was a fake smile. Noelle was sitting in the front seat so I couldn’t see her smile. Although they were both beautiful, they sort of have envied Erin. Erin was not only beautiful and sweet but she also had a grade point average of 3.80 and she was definitely getting into the college she applied for. Erin had it all and yet lately she seemed a bit more gloom.

We stopped at a red light. We were all silent listening to the radio when our song came on. The beat just put us in the mood and we were all dancing and laughing when the red light changed to green.

Erin had only begun to accelerate when we all realized something. We all looked to our left and there it was. There was no time for anything. Nobody could say anything or scream or shout. There was nothing we could do. Not many of us could recall anything because it was so quick. Only I remember something as if it happened in slow motion. I remember.

Erin looked to her left but nothing in her face that signaled any panic. Something inside me told me I should look though. Erin’s face was unforgettable. Her features still haunt my dreams. Erin looked… peaceful. Although I knew I had an extremely terrified expression, she was wearing the most serene expression I had ever seen on her. Although it seems crazy, it seemed like she was expecting it. Not only did she expect it, she wasn’t afraid of it.

I snapped out of my daze and there it was…

Dark.