I silently walk into the house a few hours later. I don't hear a sound from within. Sigh of relief. I close the door and go to my room, lock the door, and lie on the bed. The TV is something to entertain me. I watch for about 20 minutes. Then I hear a sound. She is home. A knock upon my door. "Help me put away the groceries, dear," asks my Aunt. God, it sickens me for her to call me dear.
I force myself to the kitchen. No words for several minutes; crumpling of paper, crinkling of plastic. The groceries are all put away. I start to leave. "Wait," she says. Chills run down my spine.

"Where were you today?"

"Just hanging out with Lucas and Melody at the park. It was pretty crowded due to the festival thing they had," I respond, hoping she'll let me go.

"Alright," she says, a bit warily, "dinner will be ready in an hour."

I am released back to my room. I lock the door behind me again and watch television. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Every second spent with her, it tears me. She's some kind of demon, a devil in disguise.

I flip through the channels. My mind falls upon Melody. Melody... Maybe it's wrong. It doesn't feel wrong, my feelings for her. Melody is...wondrous. The way she held me today. The way she cared. I wanted that. I wanted her. I needed her. To care for her, to hold her, to just BE with her. I think of her sparkling blue eyes, speckles of brown mixed in. Her hair shines in the sunlight. Beautiful golden strands flow down her shoulders...

My thoughts are interrupted by her calling me to dinner. I'm not so hungry. As if I ever am around her. I force myself to walk to the kitchen, grab a plate, and sit at the table.

"What did you do today, Helena?" she asks, pausing before saying my name.

"I told you, I just hung out with Lucas and Melody at the park," I say.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes."

"What'd you guys do?"

"Walked around and just hung out I guess."

"That's nice."

I hate small talk.

About ten minutes later we finish eating and I go back to my room. I call up Melody.

"How are you doing?"

"Same as always."

We talk for a few minutes. In the middle of the conversation I hear a little click, followed by light breathing. She is listening in on my calls. I concentrate on her breathing, waiting for her to hang up.

"Helena? Helena?"

I am startled out of my semi conscious state.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"I asked if you want to spend the night at my house, so...you know, you're safe."

Damn, I was praying she didn't say that.

She, pretending to pick up the phone just then, said into the phone, "Helena, I need to use the phone, please."

Melody quietly gasped, realizing.

"Alright. Bye Melody."

"B-bye Helena…"

I hear the tension in her voice. I hang up and listen for a moment. Footsteps. I walk rapidly to the door and close it. Lock secured. I crawl underneath my bed. I know it is nearly impossible to avoid. But trying to avoid it buys a little time.

Footsteps linger outside of my door. "I know you're in there Helena. Open up now, before I have to open this door myself." Her voice isn't stern nor is it assertive. It's sickly seductive. A couple minutes pass. "Still won't open the door my dear? I guess you've left me no choice but to open it myself." She picks at the locks. It only takes 30 seconds before she's in. My stomach lurches. Pounding in my chest increases. I hold my breath. "I know you're in here, so SHOW YOUR FUCKING FACE!" she screams at me, her voice now full of anger. I close my eyes tightly. She stops at the side of my bed. My eyes shoot open. 'Not under the bed, not under the bed, not under the bed,' I pray. I listen closely as her bones crack as she crouches down beside the bed.

The covers are sharply pulled up. My arm is yanked sideways. I am lying on the floor. Her eyes bore into mine. They are full of maniac desire and fiery. Fear stabbed into my body. I try to scramble up. Instead she jerks me upward onto the bed. She lays herself upon me. My clothes are torn off. I am suffocated by her intense kiss. She rubs her body against me. Her breasts press into mine. My hand is grabbed and I am forced to pleasure her. She uses me as some sort of sex toy. It's sickening. I block it all out, becoming numb.

As soon as she is done with me, she leaves without a sound. I lie upon the bed for a while. Then I slip off and into the shower. Try to wash the dirt away. I scrub until my flesh is raw.

I can never sleep in that bed. I grab my pillow from the closet and toss it and a blanket onto my couch. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. I am trapped in the nightmare of living. What is life really? At least what is it for me? Just some twisted hell, a symphony of horrors.

I walk to my dresser and open the first drawer. My fingers fall upon the handle of a knife. My knife. I bring it to the couch, staring at it. A gleam in midnight's darkness brought down to my arm. A sharp pain as it slices my skin. Blood drips out, rolling off my flesh onto my leg. Another slice. More blood. Somewhat comforting. I stop for a moment and focus my eyes all the other scars spread out on my arm. They barely ever fade. Would it matter if they did? I wipe off my blade, place back into the drawer. Cleaning off my arm, wrapping bandages around it. Spread out upon the couch. Eyes close. Slumber takes a hold of me. I wish to never wake up.

Half blurred dreams,
And silent screams,
Are what the night promises.

Words and words repeat in my head. They are engraved within my mind. Disjointed words float around me. It's all so confusing. I'm not sure how the words came to be floating around. How I came to this place. Why everything seems to be pounding. Pound, pound, pound. Louder. Painful. Make it stop. I cannot think or breathe or find a way out. I am trapped. What does it mean? Anything? A crash. A scream. I turn. Melody lies motionless upon the ground. Pools of blood surround. Eyes are open, staring blankly ahead at me. Directly into my eyes. Helplessness and emptiness in them. Oh god. I rush beside her. My hand is placed on her shoulder. Freezing cold. Hand pulled back in surprise. Stained in blood. No...

I stand up and look around. The pounding grows louder. Thump, thump. Thump, thump. Right behind me. Or is it beside me. No. Inside of my head? It won't vanish. No, no, no. I run now, far and fast. Air rushes through my hair. The pounding seems to die down. It melts into my heartbeat. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. I stop running. I have come to a grassy area. Green, fresh grass. A single tree rests upon it, providing refreshing shade. All at ease. I sit here for a few minutes. Soothing. Calm. Peaceful. Happiness.

Suddenly, there’s a low rumbling. Thunder. I gaze at the sky. Dark, black clouds. Lightning clashes with thunder in the sky. I fall to the ground in pain. The pounding has returned. Stop, stop, stop. Please. Through squinted eyes I see a cliff. Feet away. I move closer to it. Crawling. Closer, closer. My head hangs over the edge. Some sort of relief floods over me. I have found the perfect ending. The final escape. Now I stand. Balanced on the edge. Arms spread wide. I glance back. There is Melody. She exists, unharmed, behind me. Tears in her eyes. Arm outstretched. Words formed upon her lips, "Don't go..." I close my eyes, tears drip beneath my eyelids. "I'm sorry," I say silently to her. Faced forward. Faint light arises from below. There. I must go there. Body stiff. I fall forward. Falling, falling. Deeper, deeper. I am free.

A/N: Don't cut yourself kids! It's bad, mmk?