Your buttons are done up wrong.

Sam hurried in to our dorm room and shut the door quickly behind him. “What—” I started, but he pressed a finger to his lips and mouthed, “There are a bunch of girls outside.”

“So?” I mouthed back.

“So,” he breathed into my ear, “want to have some fun with them?”

“Fun like how?” I whispered.

“Let’s make sex noises.”

“What?”

“Shh!” He clamped a hand over my mouth. “Let’s pretend we’re having sex. Make the little girlies horny for the hypothetical gay boys.”

“Sam, I—”

“Pretend to have sex with me,” he growled, “or I will actually have sex with you.”

I swallowed. “Um, okay. What first?”

“Pretend,” he breathed, “that I’m kissing your neck.” He pinched the skin of my neck between two fingernails sharply, and I said, “Sam!” loudly.

He grinned. “Perfect. Hey, let’s go closer to the door so they can hear us better.”

“Okay,” I murmured.

We sat against the door, side by side, and he moaned loudly. “Lu-uke,” he said slowly, smirking at me. “Don’t—ah…” I almost laughed, but he gave me a warning look and continued his acting. “Luke, I don’t think…”

“Shut up, you stupid slut,” I said. Sam was shaking with silent laughter. “Suck my cock.”

Sam grinned at me like he couldn’t believe I was playing along with his stupid little games. But of course I was—didn’t I always play along with his stupid little games? “Luke, there are people outsi—”

“Do it!” I commanded.

“Uh… yes sir…”

We were both trying so hard not to burst out laughing. We could hear out into the hall, hear all the sophomore girls shushing each other and giggling. “I thought you were supposed to be a homo!” I told Sam. “That’s not sucking cock. What do you think this is, middle school? This isn’t the fucking band room closet! Now suck it!”

Sam had his face screwed up in an expression that told me he was about to start cracking up, but he forced it straight and said, “Yes sir.”

I moaned. Sam looked startled, but he played along, staying silent. I moaned again. He cracked a little smile as he watched me. When my moaning had gone on long enough, I finally asked him, “Did you ever have braces?”

“Nope,” Sam said, panting.

“Well, you have very straight teeth.” We put our hands over our mouths as the girls outside giggled horrendously. “Are you horny?”

“Yes,” Sam mumbled.

“I asked you a question, bitch!”

“Yes I’m horny SIR.”

I almost laughed again, right there. “What are you gonna do about it?” I growled.

“Fuck…” Sam whispered. “Shit. Luke, that’s…”

“I said, what are you gonna do about it?”

“Lu-u-uke,” he moaned. “Your hands are cold.”

I poked the dimple in his cheek with one finger. “But you like it.”

“Yeah, I—shit, Luke, that’s my favorite belt.”

I gave him a look. “Am I just undressing you or is this getting kinky?” I whispered quickly.

He smirked. “Just undressing me.”

I gave a sharp nod. “You’re going to have to live without it for a little bit.”

“Don’t rip these pants, Luke, I just bought them—oh…” he gave a shaky little moan. “Luke, don’t pull at it, the buttons will pop off.”

“Your shirt?” I mouthed. He nodded.

“It’s a uniform shirt, Sam, you can just buy a fucking new one.”

“But Luke, I… mm…”

“Are we kissing?” I mouthed.

“Yeah,” he mouthed back, nodding.

He slammed himself against the door, and I stifled my laughter as he made startlingly accurate-sounding kissing noises. “Oh, fuck it,” he said. “Luke, just fucking fuck me already.”

I smirked. “Then bend over, slut. You and I both know you like it with your skinny little ass all up in the air.”

Sam choked on his laughter. He moaned, grinning at me, his green eyes flashing with amusement. I slammed my shoulder against the door, creating a strange thump. “Luke…”

“What?”

“Harder.”

“What?”

“I said, fuck me harder!”

Garrett, another of the guys on this floor, came in through the adjoining bathroom, licking Cheeto crap off of his fingers. “What the fuck are you guys doing?” he whispered, looking at us, simply sitting on the floor.

“We’re pretending to fuck so the girls out there will get horny,” Sam hissed back as I moaned loudly to cover the noise.

Garrett nodded like this made perfect sense to him and went back through the bathroom to his dorm room.

“Orgasm?” Sam mouthed at me.

I, being the boy that I am, had to stifle a laugh at the word, before moaning louder than I had all day and falling back against the door with a thud. “Sam…” I whispered.

He looked at me, his green eyes searching my blue ones for something—an answer, maybe? “I love you, Luke,” he said quietly. I heard the girls outside ‘aw’ softly.

“Love you too, Sam.” I said. I mussed his hair and rebuttoned his buttons incorrectly. He rubbed his cheeks to make them red, and then I went back to my homework and he left the room.

-o-o-o-

Cindy, Janine, and Bethany pretended not to watch the boy as he exited his dorm room. They pretended not to notice that he had sex hair. He spared them a glance, though, as he walked by, giving them a soft grin. They giggled.

The boy reached the end of the hallway before Bethany called, “Hey, wait!”

She caught up to him, leaving Cindy and Janine to stare at her in bewilderment. The boy turned to look at her. “Yeah?”

“Your, um, buttons are done up wrong.”

Sam looked down with a little smirk on his face. “Oh. Whoops.”