How To Hire Evil Scientist Geniuses

This guide works both as a stand-alone, or you can take it as complimentary materials to "MidNight's How To Be A Superhero, Supervillain". Thank you, & enjoy!

Have you ever needed(note the needed, not wanted.)to get an Evil Act(Mawhahahahahahaha!!!) accomplished, but (unfortunately) lacked the necessary know-how to bring it to its fruition?

What you need, Evil Minions, is an Evil (insert field of science in which you require assistance-Chemistry/Physics/Biology) Scientist.

-Step 1-

Kidnap the Evil Scientist(s) of your choosing.

-Step 2-

Brain Surgery! (Yippee!!!) Remove the Evil Scientists' brains & hook the brains up to its own separated, isolated computer that's installed ONLY with a powerful search engine.

(Personally, I'm using the the AskScientist system, based on the popular AskJeeves web search service.)

-Step 3-

& Viola! Your Ask(Evil)Scientist service is now ready to carry out your Evil Plans! Just type in a question & wait while those Evil Genius Brains formulate your answer. Be patient. These are Evil Genius Brains hooked up to computers, not just a stupid machine.

Miscellaneous!

-Ensure beforehand that there are no Heroes/Heroines in the Evil Scientist's family. (If you are unfortunate enough to encounter such a situation, act quickly! Kill the the other fella before he kills you!)

-None of the computers are allowed to have emotion chips.

-Each Evil Scientist brain search engine must be kept entirely isolated from one another. No Internet access goes without saying.

-All Operating Systems must be incompatible with the standard Windows/Mac/Linux Computer systems.

-Batteries don't try to show off to one another, "accidentally" destroying a considerable chunk of one's infinite realm, in some freak experiment contest.

-The absence of an emotion/conscience chip renders the Evil Scientist brains incapable of disloyalty to you, or striving to undo the "evil damage" that his twisted inventions for you have wrought.

-15th Feb '09, 11.07pm