Author's Notes: Mmmkay, so for this assignment we had to take a mythological legend or whatever and rewrite it in a different time and/or place. The myth itself was merely used as a sort of basis which meant we had a lot of creative control. I wrote this.

*ahem* Mine. Yes? Yes.

Excerpt taken from Wikipedia (the article has now been edited beyond recognition to what is posted here.)

The story of Susanoo and Yamata No Orochi:

Yamata no Orochi (八岐の大蛇, "big snake of eight branches"), often called Orochi or the Eight-Forked Serpent in English), is a dragon- or serpent-like creature in Japanese mythology. In the ancient Japanese scripture, the Kojiki, after Susanoo is expelled from heaven, he encounters two earthly deities near the head of the Hiigawa River in Izumo Province. They are weeping because they have had to give the Orochi one of their daughters once every year, and now they must sacrifice the eighth and last, whose name is Kushinada.

The monster is described as having eight heads and eight tails and eyes as red as winter-cherries. It is so long its body extends over eight valleys and eight hills, its belly is always bloody and inflamed, and its back is covered with moss and hinoki and sugi trees.

Susanoo asks for Kushinada's hand in marriage, and then transforms her into a comb which he places in his hair. He then asks her parents to brew some liquor that has been refined eight times, and then build a round enclosure with eight gates, each with a platform and a liquor vat. They fill the liquor vats and wait, and sure enough the Orochi appears. It dips a head into each vat, and is soon intoxicated, allowing Susanoo to cut it into pieces. When he cuts the middle tail, his sword is chipped, and there he finds the legendary Kusanagi sword.

The Story of Susanoo and Yamata No Orochi

Jamine was walking. Well, maybe he was running and maybe, just maybe behind him there was a giant dragon with eight heads but perhaps that was irrelevant. Or maybe it was not. The fact that he had the stupidity to ask what was wrong with two people on the side of road had something to do with it.

Jamine had been strolling casually along the road when he had noticed two people sobbing and crying. He had hesitated at first, the first half of his brain mumbling about danger and storylines. However, his stupid (the humanistic, emotional) side won out and he knelt down to ask what the matter was.

“Oh, oh, oh!” The woman wailed. “How terrible, oh fates begone! Our lovely, kind, virgin daughters have all been eaten! Eaten! Oh,oh, oh!”

“Um… riiiight.” Jamine turned to the man.

“What my wife was trying to say is that we have sacrificed all eight of our daughters to a horrible dragon and today he’s demanding our last and youngest… eh…”

“Kushinada, you old derelict!”

The man dodged a blow from his wife. “Yeah… Kushinada. Um… She’s a virgin, really pretty, and…”

“She’s got nice tits.”

Jamine sighed, knowing he had walked into another storyline. They lay everywhere, lying in wait for a hapless traveler. Yet these days young heroes were far and few between and so storylines had to come up with new ideas to entice people into them.

“And really large hips for many babies!”

“You get lots of babies from Kushinada! And big healthy ones too!”

“Yeah, yeah, she’d make an excellent mother! She’s kind, careful, caring…”

“And she’s got nice tits.”

“Right, nice tits.”

Jamine held up his hands. “Okay, okay, I’ll help you!” He wracked his brains for the storyline. Was a giant going to eat them? No, no… A god that changes into a cow and has illegitimate children? Hmmm… no… oh yeah! This is that story of Susanoo and…Jamine gulped. Oh… crap…

“Um… right. So, uh, I have to ask for Kushinada’s hand in marriage.”

“Right! Right! We give to you! No strings attached!”

“Uh huh… So she has to come here now. I have to change her into a comb.”

“KUUUUUSHIIIIIIINAAAADAAAA!!!!!”

A gorgeous black haired woman- with, indeed “nice tits”-came from out of the house. Jamine looked her over. Well, nothing seems to be immediately wrong. However, storylines always have a loophole. Especially a desperate storyline. “Okay, Kushinada, stand over there and I’ll turn you into a comb.”

Kushinada walked into the middle of the road and Jamine pointed his finger at her. “Turn… into a COMB!”

First her skin began to melt, oozing and reforming along her bones. Slowly, her muscles disintegrated, her melting skin tightening over her bones. Jamine winced as her hair fell from her skull, landing in large clumps on the ground. Eventually, Kushinada’s bones liquefied and she melted into a pile of loose, sometimes lumpy skin before the marrow reformed into the proper form and her skin stretched into the new shape.

Jamine looked down at the razor on the ground.

“Um, I guess that’s close…”

He hesitantly reached down and picked up the flesh toned razor. He carefully put it in his pocket and turned to face the parents again. Er… what happens at this point again?

“Erm… brew some liquor, refined eight times and put into eight vats… build a fence around each of them and… have a… platform built for each.”

The two adults turned around.

Ah yes, Jamine thought wryly, the giant loophole. Something that has to be done over years is done in the blink of an e-

The eight vats of liquor refined eight times each surrounded by its own fence and platform appeared.

“Done. So what now?”

“Um… we wait for Yamata No Orochi.”

“Well, while we’re waiting might as well have tea.” The wife went into the house and put on a pot of water. Jamine stood at the doorway, uncertain about what to do.

“Come, come sit down, have tea.”

Jamine had been drinking tea for five hours (and feeling a little bloated) when the ground rumbled.

“Well,” The wife got up and brushed off her dress. “We had better leave… this young man to do the dirty work. Come, husband, let us hide in yonder woodpile.”

Despite knowing they were being used by the storyline Jamine still felt a little hurt they would leave him alone with Yamata No Orochi bearing down upon him. Jamine decided that he would also watch the dragon from behind a safe barrier and so hid behind a large tree.

Yamata No Orochi came like a flurry of lava, exploding from the volcano in an explosion of power and sheer animal fury. He had eight slavering heads, each gazing madly about with beady red eyes. On his back were trees and moss, growing straight from its knobby spine. The dragon paused at the edge of the vats of alcohol. The heads sniffed the air and it slowly moved towards the massive containers. One by one its great heads approached the alchohol. Jamine held his breath as Yamata No Orochi sipped the brew…

And plucked out eight tiny tea cups whereupon he dipped them into the alcohol and sipped delicately. Jamine groaned.

Five hours later all eight vats had been drained and Yamata No Orochi was stumbling quite heavily around. Jamine decided this was the time to confront the beast and get out of the storyline so he stepped from behind his tree.

“Yamata No Orochi!” the dragon’s heads wobbily, blurrily looked in Jamine’s general direction. “I am here to either slay you or make you stop eating these nice couples children! I can’t remember which… this storyline’s really messed up.”

Yamata No Orochi stumbled closer. “Oh, oh, shyeah? Y-you thiiink you gonna beat ME?!” The dragon waved an arm. “ME?! The f-fan-… great Yamta Or… the great dragon!?”

“Well, you see I’m stuck in a storyline-“

“HA! Hahahahahahahahaha! I-I’ll fffffight shoo!” To Jamine’s horror Yamata No Orochi lunged for him.

This isn’t supposed to happen! Storyline’s don’t put anything in actual danger! Jamine ran, and as he ran he glanced about. Oh crap, the color’s back and the birds are singing. There’s even a deer in the forest. This is not the storyline. Oh shit, oh shit, oh SHIT! Yamata No Orochi thundered behind Jamine, tearing up farmland and houses as he went. This was definitely not the storyline. A storyline never allowed any other damage to be wreaked or person hurt. I’m gonna die! I’m gonna die! There was a very loud THUD. Jamine slowed, then stopped. He glanced behind.

Yamata no Orochi was laying unconscious on the road. Each heads tongue was lolling from the mouth. Jamine poked the a head with a very long stick. When he didn’t move Jamine sighed in relief and brought the Kushinada razor out from his pocket. He threw it to the ground and yelled as loud as he could, hoping the storyline would hear him.

“Turn back! TURN BACK!”

To Jamine’s relief Kushinada once again became human. “Come on,” He said, grabbing her arm, “I should take you back to your parents.”

“No.”

“Um… what?”

“No! Those two coots aren’t my parents! I’m a princess of a distant l-“

“Oh, no. Not another one!”

Kushinada glared at him. “Well? You better take me home right now or I’ll have every human looking for you! With a bounty on your head you sure as hell won’t be going anywhere!”

Jamine sighed. “Listen, I just got out of a storyline! I’m not about to go back into one!”

“Too bad. I need an escort and you’re the only one around.”

Jamine tried to leave but his feet were stuck to the ground. “Dammit.”