he holds me.
a newborn, his daughter
first. only.
and I would not be so unjust
as to accuse him of not
loving his infant child.

was it gone the next day?
when i was four?
when did he stop loving me?
was it gone the moment
i was relinquished to my mother?

if i’d known it would be so,
i’d have made him hold me forever.