his name is nightmare because

he is vivid and unforgettable and

completely terrifying, and though

i know that he isn't really there

i still lay in bed at night sobbing till

my lips are cracked desert dirt and my

cheeks are just raw slices of salty meat.

his name is nightmare because he

is always there, crouching in the

shadows of my sanity, waiting with

adrenaline-laced blood and

hooked claws just aching to drag me back

into his razorblade ribs.

his name is nightmare because

he only comes at night and always

leaves me awake in bed, screaming

and crying and shaking and wishing

that he would just

leave.

me.

alone.

his name is nightmare because,

unlike dreams, he never fades,

no matter how hard i trytrytry

to forget him and what he's done to me.

his name is nightmare because

he is everything i am afraid of

and everything that will never be.

2.18.09