“Fucking waterproof mascara my ass,” she muttered under her breath, staring at her pitiful reflection in the mirror as she dapped some water on a paper towel and proceeded to wipe away the streaks of black running down her cheeks. Managing to wipe away the majority, she didn’t even bother to try and wipe the mess around her eyes as she threw away the paper towels and picked up her bag which she had dropped on the floor when she first ran into the bathroom. “You still look like a fucking mess,” her reflection seemed to hiss at her, a frown forming on her slightly chapped lips as she quickly averted her eyes from the mess looking back at her in the mirror. “I mean look at you! You look like a red eyed raccoon from all that crying and that huge stain on your shirt doesn’t really help the situation either.” her reflection taunted as the bathroom door suddenly opened and broke her out of her self loathing state.

Gripping the strap of her bag tightly she flew past the girls while trying to ignore the giggles and looks they gave her as she ran down the hall. She kept on running until she reached room 202 where her English class was currently being conducted. The look the teacher gave her as she entered the room was one that resembled pure hatred. “Sorry I’m late, Mr. Matthews.” she whispered, tucking a few strands of her long blonde hair behind her ear as she headed towards the back of the room where her seat was located.

“Just make sure to see me after class, Ms. Hawkins,” the teacher replied in his usual gruff tone and with a meek nod she tried to make herself as invisible as possible which she managed to achieve for that period. Hearing the bell ring, she stayed in her seat as her classmates left the room, simply staring out the window as she waited for the last student to leave so she could go and talk to Mr. Matthews and see what the hell he wanted to talk to her about.

“Antoinette come up here please,” her teacher said suddenly, breaking her out of her daze as the blonde teenager quickly scrambled out of her seat and headed towards the front of the classroom. “This is the forth time you’ve been late this week. If you keep this up I’m going to have to have a discussion with your parents.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Matthews. It won’t happen again,” she muttered, knowing that she had said this several times in the past week.

“It better not happen again, Antoinette because the next time it does I’m going to have no choice but to contact your parents let them know what’s been going on.”

Nodding, Antoinette said a quick goodbye before rushing out of the classroom with a loud sigh. Her next class was just down the hall and Mr. Matthews had written her a late pass in case she needed it, which she was thankful because the last thing she wanted was for the school to contact her parents- not that it would cause anything, but that was besides the point. She didn’t want to get them involved because it would cause more problems for her at home. Managing to make it to the classroom before the bell rang, she hurried to her seat which was thankfully at the back of the room and for the rest of the school day tried her best at toughing it out. She managed to succeed in this because when the last bell rang she found herself still alive but she wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad about that fact. Putting the depressing thoughts to the back of her mind she exited the school building, and just as she got a few feet away from the school, someone roughly shoved her from behind, however, she did manage to recover from the shove and save herself a rather painful one-on-one meeting with the sidewalk.

“Next time move faster Antoinette. Some of us do want to get home,” Allison Jane, the girl who had shoved her sneered as she and her friends walked past the dazed and upset teenager, laughing as they did so. Allison Jane was a girl in her class who had made it her personal mission to destroy her life ever since she moved here four years ago after her father relocated. She wasn’t sure why Allison and her friends disliked her so much but whatever the reason their bullying was only it making it harder for her to get up every morning and go to school. She had never bothered them or done anything to them. The only thing she could figure was that maybe she was a dislikable person or a good target for bullying.

Today during lunch Allison had tripped her. This caused some of her food to spill on her, which caused the stain on her shirt and hence the crying which led to the mascara stains around her eyes. Lunch had always been hard for Antoinette because she never had any idea where she should sit and this week it had been especially hard thanks to Allison doing /something/ to push her buttons. When this happened Antoinette took refuge in the bathroom and since she didn’t have a watch and was afraid to leave the rest room she always miscalculated when she had to arrive at her English class.

Determined not to be late for English class tomorrow, she picked up what little pieces of pride she had left as she started the fifteen minute walk home and once she arrived she noticed her sister’s car in the drive way. Apparently she hadn’t gone to work after her classes today because if she had her car wouldn’t be here until at least seven or eight tonight. Less than pleased with the idea that her sister would be there to greet her when she went inside, she sighed and headed inside as she tried to remain as quiet as she could while taking her shoes off at the front door.

“What the hell happened to you? You look like crap,” her sister commented when she spotted her walking towards the stairs, and Antoinette promptly ignored her as she walked the remaining distance to her room and once she was in the safety of her own four walls she finally let her guard down with a loud, tired sigh.

Her room was completely different from the other rooms in the house. It wasn’t decorated in a cheery, homely sort of way but rather dark and mysterious. Her walls were painted a dark, deep almost blackish purple with random pictures and poems she had drawn, written, and found in the internet. While her walls were practically covered her bedroom was pretty sparse with the exception of a bed, dresser, desk, and small bookshelf. She had never bothered to personalize all of her room because the decoration of her walls was good enough for her.

“Antoinette mom says to get cleaned up for dinner because we’re having company and she wants you to at least try to look somewhat presentable,” she heard her sister shout a few minutes after she had entered her room and Antoinette could only smirk in amusement because her sentence was absolutely ridiculous. There was no way she could clean herself up the way her parents wanted her too. Unlike her prim and proper parents and preppy sister, Antoinette had a very unique style. She preferred dark clothing, fluffy gothic dresses known as the gothic lolita craze over in Japan, and just things that tended to make her stand out in her family and school. That was another reason why she was teased so much. She dressed differently and had interests that apparently differed greatly from those of her fellow classmates. It was the same way in her family but Antoinette continued to try and be herself, hoping that maybe one day she would be accepted by somebody- anybody.

“How exactly am I supposed to clean myself up?” Antoinette muttered to herself, knowing her mother pretty much hated the way she dressed, disliked that her hair almost reached her butt, and just pretty much everything about her. Her sister on the other hand was her pride and joy. Ashlee was a college student with a good job, a nice boyfriend, and nothing about her screamed weird, strange, or abnormal.

Dinner was basically uneventful and Antoinette tried to make herself appear as invisible as possible. The less visible she was, the less the guests would notice her, which wouldn’t annoy her mother so much. It was for the best really, and her strategy worked out in the end, the guests never saying one word to her. Towards the end of the dinner Antoinette was quick to offer to do the dishes. Politely excusing herself, she quickly grabbed the dishes and headed into the kitchen, turning on the water right away so she wouldn’t have to hear the muffled conversation going on in the other room. When she was about halfway done she heard the door close, the blonde teenager blinking when her mother walked into the room and frowned at her. “Did I do something?” she blurted out, wanting to know why her mother’s demeanor had suddenly went from happy to some degree of angry.

“Your teacher Mr. Matthews called.”

“He did?” Antoinette asked in a small voice, cursing herself for even trusting her teacher when he said he wouldn’t call her parents. “What did he say?”

“He told me you were late to his class almost all of this week and lately you’ve been slacking off in your work and in class.”

It was had to concentrate on class when you had to think of ways to avoid being the target of a bully but Antoinette managed to bite her tongue and just simply nod.

“So you admit it?”

“Yes, mom but you see there are these girls that are always picking on me-”

“Antoinette that is no excuse. I know the kids can sometimes be a pain but you have to ignore them and focus on the learning part of school- not the social part,” her mother muttered. “Besides, maybe if you tried to fit in more you wouldn’t have that problem.”

“Mom I don’t want to try to be something I’m not.”

“Just finish the dishes,” her mother muttered and with a timid nod she did as she was told all the while wondering why her own mother appeared to dislike her so much.

Her parents weren’t her birth parents. After Ashlee had been born, their mother was told she could never have any more children which prompted her to contact an adoption agency when Ashlee was two and a year later they adopted her. Antoinette didn’t know anything about her birth parents. She desperately wanted to know something- anything, because maybe if she knew some little piece of information about them she would feel like she belonged somewhere instead of feeling like an outsider within the family that had raised her.

There was no doubt in her mind that her parents were disappointed that they had ever adopted her. She hadn’t turned out like they expected or lived up to what their perfect idea of what a child was. It was rather depressing to come to the conclusion that your family didn’t exactly care for you but Antoinette refused to be someone she wasn’t. Even if it meant her parents didn’t care for her she couldn’t pretend to be the child they wanted her to be. Doing that would only make her more miserable and though living day to day practically alone was hard, she figured that one day there had to be someone, anyone out there that would and could accept her.

However, it was easier said then done.

~*~

“Antoinette get the door!” shouted her mother from the kitchen, this breaking her out of her daze and with a sigh she pushed herself off the couch and shuffled towards the door. It had been a week since her teacher had called and she was more or less grounded but she saw no need for that. She never went anywhere anyway. Letting out another sigh, she told whoever was ringing the doorbell that she was coming and once she finally reached the door she opened it, blinking in surprise when she was greeted by two red headed girls who were both wearing big, goofy grins.

“Hello!” the shorter one, of them said, the other one simply nodding with that smile still on her face.

“Hello..?” she responded but it was more of a question then a statement.

“Oh sorry we forgot to introduce ourselves! I’m Cosette and the quiet one over here is my sister Demi. We just moved next door and our moms suggested that we go around the street introducing ourselves to our new neighbors so… here we are! I hope we are not interrupting something or are bothering you.”

“Um… hi there,” Antoinette replied quietly, observing the two at her door before she decided to offer her own name since it was the polite thing to do. The twins looked exactly alike. They shared the same facial features, expressions, the wild ginger red hair, and dark brown eyes. The only differences were Demi being at least a good three inches taller then Cosette and the way their hair was styled. The shorter of the twins sported two messy braids while the taller one had her hair styled in pixie cut. Realizing she was staring, she felt a faint blush coming on and after clearing her throat she deemed herself calmed down enough to reply. “I’m Antoinette,“ she murmured, “and no you didn’t bother me at all-”

“Antoinette who’s at the door?” her mother called from inside the house, frowning as she walked towards the front door and spotted her daughter talking to two red haired girls who looked exactly alike.

“Mom these are our new neighbors Cosette and Demi. They just moved in next door.”

“Nice to meet you and if you don’t mind could you please come back another time? We are terribly busy at the moment,” her mother said and before the twins could even respond she shut the door and locked it, leaving the room without even a word to Antoinette. Her mother was only friendly when she wanted to be and when not she could probably be considered one of the rudest women in the world.

The weekend came and went much to her dismay because even if she was stuck inside for most of Saturday and Sunday she wasn’t at school where she had to deal with people who loved to make her miserable. Climbing out of bed early Monday morning, she went downstairs to make herself some breakfast and once she was finished with it she went back upstairs and did everything but get dressed which she usually reserved for last. Antoinette didn’t know why she did that. It was simply something she had always done.

Shuffling over towards her closet she pulled out a simple long sleeved black top and after she had quickly shed herself of her pajamas she pulled the top on. Happening to glance out the window as she was pulling on a pair of black boy shorts she spotted a casually dressed Cosette and Demi walking down the street, their backpacks slung over their shoulders.

She was still disappointed that her mother ruined her chance to talk to the twins. They seemed nice. Maybe… no that was stupid. Why was she thinking that way? No one she ever met turned out to be nice. They might’ve started out that way but eventually they’d turn out to be mean and vindictive bitches. Her mother had probably done her a good thing that day even if that was the last thing she planned to do. Turning away from her window, she grabbed a fluffy, black knee length skirt before slipping on her lace up boots. “I’m heading off to school!” she shouted, only sighing when she didn’t get a response and with that she was on her way, everything going like it usually did until she got to the end of her street, because when she arrived someone jumped out of the bushes and screamed something.

“Hey!” Cosette said with a smile, blinking when Antoinette put her hand over her chest. “Did I scare you?”

“You jumped out of a bush, Cosette so of course you scared her,” Demi commented in a dry tone, flashing Antoinette an apologetic smile.

“Well you were waiting in it with me!”

“…. but I didn’t jump out like you did. I simply wanted to pop out once I spotted her and say hello.”

Blinking, Antoinette observed the childish argument between the siblings for a few seconds before quietly attempting to walk past them but just as she went to do that Cosette gasped and quickly grabbed her arm in order to prevent her from sneaking off.

“And where do you think you’re going?”

“To school,” was the only reply she got.

“Well walk with us! Why do you think we waited at the end of the street anyway?”

“I think what you are doing borders on stalking,” Antoinette murmured, blinking when Demi let out a small chuckle. No one had ever laughed at something she had said before and to /actually/ hear someone do so was amazing and slightly embarrassing.

“I apologize for my sister. She’s always eager to make friends and more often then naught her efforts get taken as stalking and obsession." Demi explained with another chuckle. "However she does mean well."

Antoinette didn’t quite know how to react to that sentence or to the twins. Demi was being friendly with her and Cosette seemed like she really wanted to be her friend which was something Antoinette couldn't comprehend because it was all very foreign to her. "I'm flattered but I think you could find someone much more interesting then me to befriend," Antoinette murmured, meaning this full heartedly while trying to protect herself from getting hurt in the long run. She didn't need someone else turning on her just because they deemed her weird or strange.

"Okay listen I find you cool and so does Demi. Your sense of style is just different from anything I've ever seen and plus you seem like a really nice person so either accept our offer of friendship or I will be forced to resort to drastic-"

"Again I apologize for her. Cosette tends to get overly excited very easily," Demi told her, "but instead of accepting an offer of friendship would you mind accepting an offer to walk to school with us?"

"Sure," Antoinette said before she could stop herself and with a sigh she resigned herself to her fate and walked to school with Cosette and Demi which actually turned out to be quite a pleasant experience- though she was reluctant to admit it to herself. Antoinette parted with her two acquaintances once they walked into the building. After a quick but polite goodbye, she headed to her locker, grabbing her books for her first class before heading to homeroom and to her surprise, a few minutes after she walked into homeroom Cosette walked in. Feeling her cheeks heat up when Cosette called out her name and waved idiotically she tried to duck down in her seat but the little trick failed, of course.

"Isn't it cool that we're in the same homeroom Antoinette?" Cosette asked with a grin, nudging her new 'friend' as she tried to get a response out of her.

"Yeah, I suppose," she managed to reply, smiling nervously as she sat up in her chair. Why was she unable to figure out how she should react when it came to Cosette- especially Cosette? Maybe it was because she wasn't used to someone who was so perky, full of energy, and declaring that she should accept her offer of friendship.

"Who's your new friend, Antoinette?" Allison said from her seat beside Antoinette, smirking as she cast a faint glance over towards Cosette before turning her attention back to Antoinette who was squirming uncomfortably in her seat, her eyes downcast towards the floor. “I didn’t know the goth queen could actually make friends.” she sneered.

“Goth queen? That is such a cool title! It’s much better then being the reigning queen of the stuck-up bitches,” Cosette commented with a grin and if it hadn’t been for the bell ringing then Allison would’ve definitely had something to say. Giggling when Allison stormed out of the classroom, Cosette cast an amused glance over in the shocked Antoinette's direction. "You okay?" she asked, "I'm only wondering because we do have to get to class unless you fancy being late."

Nodding dumbly, Antoinette grabbed her bag and followed Cosette out of their homeroom and to their first class which was Math where they met up with Demi. The three ended up parting for the next class but during lunch they met up again. Antoinette did attempt to avoid joining the twins for lunch that afternoon but the second Cosette spotted her she was doomed, the hyper girl jumping up and rushing over towards her before she could even think of a way to escape. Led over to the table, Antoinette sighed when Cosette gently but firmly pushed her towards the table and after reluctantly taking a seat she ran off saying she needed to go to the bathroom which left her alone with Demi. Demi was the quieter and less boisterous of the twins, so being around her was less exhausting then being around Cosette who always seemed to be all over the place.

"Is my sister annoying you?"

"No, she's just very loud. It's hard to get used too," Antoinette murmured with a faint smile, her smile growing when she thought about what Cosette had said to Allison during homeroom earlier that day. "She's very nice though."

"Ah yes my sister is very nice. She's crazy and loud as hell but when she likes someone she stays loyal to them no matter what," Demi said, smiling when Antoinette gave her a confused look. "My sister told me about homeroom. She said you were being picked on by this evil queen of the bitches."

"Oh you mean Allison. We've never really gotten along," she admitted with a forced smile, a pale, slender hand reaching up to tuck a few stray hands of blonde hair behind her ear as she gazed nervously at Demi.

"Hm," was all Demi said and a few seconds later Cosette came back, giggling loudly as she talked about how she felt much, much better now that she had pissed. Lunch went well and Antoinette found herself enjoying it- though it was hard for her to admit it to herself. She couldn't understand why she enjoyed it so much but with the bell ringing she didn't have much time to really think about it before she had to hurry to English class.

Antoinette didn’t see Cosette or Demi for the rest of the day. Part of her was delighted because it saved her from experiencing any odd feelings but another part of her was sad. She had started to hope she had made two new friends and wanted to spend time with-
“Antoinette walk home with us!”

Never mind. It looked like she would be spending time with her new friends after all. “I have to get home.” she told Cosette and Demi as they made their way out of the school and wasn’t sure why she had said it. It had just popped out before she could stop herself.

“Well that’s perfect then! We can stop there and ask your mom if it’s okay for you to come over to our house for the afternoon.”

Gaping at Cosette, she glanced over at Demi for some help but all she did was sigh and give her a sympathetic look. During the walk home Antoinette tried to think of every possible way to get herself out of this situation but nothing worked and to her horror her mother didn’t seem to have any problem with her being gone for the afternoon. Heck, she seemed delighted even! Sighing, she allowed herself to be dragged over to Cosette and Demi’s home, smiling nervously as Cosette bolted into the kitchen while Demi followed quietly and slowly behind her sister, letting Antoinette know that it was okay for her to make herself at home. Removing her shoes, she placed her backpack on a chair before heading inside the kitchen where Cosette and Demi were talking to a short woman’s whose red hair was pulled back in a bun.

“Hello there. You must be Cosette and Demi’s new friend, Antoinette,” the woman said in a cheerful tone, gesturing for her to come over and take a seat at the table with them and reluctantly Antoinette did just that.

~*~

It was after eight when she finally got home and no one made a fuss as she walked in and quickly headed upstairs. Her mother only came up once after she had gotten settled in her room just to let her know that they wouldn’t be home tomorrow because of some get together with their friends and that was that. She didn’t even chastise her for being late and Antoinette would’ve cared if she hadn’t been on an energy high at the moment. Her afternoon at the Delany household had been wonderful. At first she had been shy but after a few hours she did come out of her shell a little bit and that enabled her to have a pleasant time. Demi and Cosette had very welcome parents. The mother she had met in the kitchen, Kathryn was very perky and Cosette seemed to take after her, and their other mother, Mara, whom she had met later that day was silent and didn’t say much but she seemed nice nonetheless.

Going over to the Delany household eventually became a frequent thing for Antoinette. She would go over there almost every day after school and Demi and Cosette’s mothers seemed more than happy with her constant presence. It was nice to be able to feel like she belonged. At her own home she felt like an outsider since her family never made her feel welcomed. They treated her as if she was a nuisance. I mean they had tried hard but eventually it seemed like they had given up on her. It hurt that her family thought of her as an annoyance and chances were they regretted the adoption… but this wasn’t the first time she had thought that and it wouldn’t be the last.

School was a bit easier. She now had at least someone to sit with at lunch and while Allison hadn’t quit her bullying she found herself actually enjoying school. However, just because things were slowly changing for her, didn’t mean everything was all hunky-dory.

“Can you spend the night tonight?” Cosette asked eagerly one day while they were sitting in the kitchen doing homework, the red haired girl frowning when Antoinette didn’t answer right away. “Antoinette!” she whined, puffing her cheeks out in frustration when her friend blinked and looked at her with an innocent expression. “I asked you if you could spend the night tonight.”

“Ah, I don’t know. My parents have this dinner thing and I might have to go along.”

Antoinette responded, still rather shy around her two new friends. She had known them for nearly a month and while she was getting rather comfortable around them it was hard for her to open up completely.

“Your fifteen though! You can make your own decisions!”

“Excuse me, Cosette?” Kathryn asked from the other room and with a sheepish grin Cosette told her mother that she loved her and to just ignore what she had just said.

Smiling softly, Antoinette went back to doing what she had been doing and about an hour later she was ready to head back home. “Bye. I’ll call you when I can,” she told them, saying goodbye to Cosette first and Demi second.

“Try to get away from your parents tonight. It would really mean a lot to Cosette and I if you could spend the night.”

Feeling herself blush at Demi’s words, she nodded, giving her a small wave before she went back home. Greeted by nothing but silence at first, she shrugged, heading into the kitchen to get a snack when she suddenly bumped into her mother. “Sorry mom,” she blurted out, smiling nervously at her as she walked around her and headed towards the refrigerator to get herself a snack of some sort.

“You’ve been spending an awful lot of time over at our neighbors,” her mother inquired out of the blue and this sudden comment made Antoinette frown but she didn’t voice out her suspicions. All she did was nod and try to focus on the task at hand. “Is there a reason why you are always over there?”

“They’re my friends mom. I like to spend time with them.”

“You’ve never done that before.”

“Well that was because I wasn’t really close to anyone before. I am now,” Antoinette explained, trying her best not to sound as exasperated as she was feeling. “Why are you asking me all these questions, anyway?”

“I’m just worried that your getting too close to them.”

“What do you mean by that?” she inquired, frowning as she turned to glance at her mother.

“Isn’t getting close to them kind of necessary? They are my friends you know.”

“I’m not talking about that kind of close, Antoinette,” her mother muttered.

“Then what kind of close do you mean?”

“I’m worried that your getting more then just a friendly sort of close with those girls. They were raised by a pair of lesbians so who knows what they’re like and since you’re over there so much I can’t help but worry that it’s too much exposure-”

“Exposure to what, Mom? Gay people?” Antoinette asked in disbelief, not quite sure if what she was hearing was right.

“Antoinette I just don’t want them to influence you in anyway. You are only fifteen and it’s easy to sway young people-”

“Mom I don’t understand what your saying,” Antoinette muttered.

“What you do reflects badly on us and I don’t want you being drawn into that lifestyle. We didn’t raise you that way.”

“You don’t want me to spend all your time over there because you’re afraid I’ll turn gay and then disgrace the family name?”

“I didn’t say that-”

“… but it’s what you meant.”

“Antoinette I’m not trying to start an argument. I just wanted to talk to you and make sure nothing is going on.”

“Well nothing is going on and even if it was I don’t see the big deal, mom.”

“The big deal is that it would embarrass your sister, me, and your father!” her mother snapped. “You already do enough to embarrass this family with the way you look and the last thing we need is something else to add to the list, so for the sake of this family please just stop going over there so much.”

Antoinette wasn’t sure how long she stood in the kitchen just staring blankly at the wall as she tried to desperately comprehend what the hell had just happened. Her mother had just told her to her face she was a disgrace. Why would she say something so hurtful? Didn’t she love her even a tiny bit? Biting down on her bottom lip she took her snack and quickly shuffled upstairs, shutting the door behind her as she silently ate the snack and tried her best not to burst into hysterics. She had always felt like the black sheep in her family and her mother saying IT just confirmed her fears. Antoinette was the black sheep. She didn’t fit in with them and she didn’t want to try because then she would be miserable. Trying to be someone you weren’t never ended well…but it still hurt like a bitch.

She ended up staying in her room for most of the day. During the time in her room she was sure she heard the phone ring and then heard her mother say something about her being grounded or whatever. This angered her but she didn’t do anything about it. She just sat on her bed, stared blankly at the wall, and sulked until it was dark out. It was around this point Antoinette got sick of sitting on her bed sulking and in a spur-of-the-moment decision she snuck out of the house and went next door. About a few seconds after she knocked at the door Kathryn opened the door and greeted her with a warm smile, quickly ushering her inside as she closed the door behind her. “Sorry for showing up out of the blue. I just really wanted to come over.”

“Don’t worry about it Antoinette. You’re welcome here anytime,” Kathryn told her, letting her know that the twins were upstairs before she disappeared back into the living room where she had been watching a movie with her partner before she rudely interrupted them.
Heading up the stairs, she knocked on their bedroom door and as soon as it was opened Antoinette found herself being tackled to the floor, a slight whimper of pain escaping her as her head bumped against the floor.

“Cosette get off her,” Demi shouted, smiling a rather sheepish smile as she extended a hand to the female lying on the floor once Cosette had climbed off her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Sorry about that, Antoinette! I’m just happy to see you!”

“It’s all right Cosette,” Antoinette murmured with a smile. Tonight she was determined just to have fun and try not to think of her family. She would try not to think about what consequences her sneaking out might bring tomorrow when she finally went home and just focus on her two friends who made her feel like she /actually/ belonged somewhere.