i want
to feel myself siphoned
to a distant place.
i want
to crawl up the wallpaper at night
while the spider webs sleep
and float off into the beckoning city.
i want
to pile the mound of swirling hurt
into lines across the paper
and make this make some sense.
i want
to feel someone's words as my heartbeat
and not be pushed away.
i want
to watch my mind wander
to a place where it will find my dreams
and mend the rage splitting at the seems.
i want
to parcel off my heart
to a place far, far beyond the sinking mountains
and not ever have to feel
a shred of this.