Title: What She Never KnewAuthor: Lydia Pedersen

Date: Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Authors Note: Pay attention. Everything I say is for a reason.

Piece One:

As she looked out the window toward the horizon she thought about life. Filled with her own shame of having done what she did. In the beginning it hadn't been so bad, but now the thoughts and feelings haunted her into guilt. They floated in the air around her. They soaked into her pores. They weeded in and out of her mind and deteriorated her brain cells, little by little. They soared through the innards of her body, poisoning her vital organs, her muscles, her bones, her fat, her skin, HER BLOOD, making her reel with nausea she had never experienced before now, that came constantly without rest, and made her body ache of sores.

She wouldn't be able to stand it much longer, she knew. She was a goner.

Dead. Dying.

DONE.

Finished. Perished. Deceased. Erased. Forgotten. Passed. Extinct. Eliminated. Extinguished. Burnt out. Onto a better place. Kicked the bucket. The End of the Line. Mortal. A stiff. Useless. Pointless. Meaningless. Nothing.

She wouldn't last. She couldn't take it. She gave into her long ago murdered emotions. And yet all along, they had been revived, but buried, deep, hidden.

And her eyes betrayed her wants and perception because it took on a life of it's own and apparently felt her face was too dry. And they apparently felt she needed to burn, for she stared out the window as the sun kissed and burned her age-spotted, flappy skin and deeply evident wrinkles, like an old lover reunited, but long forgotten.

It had been so long. Without the bright, blinding, burn of the star, so dangerous to her health, she had become a ghost, without something or someone or somewhere to stalk and haunt, but being haunted herself.

As she looked out at the world, and the world looked back, she was finally able to let go. Escape.

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