Title: My Death, As Predicted by Me

Author: Salamander Erg

Summary: Me describing my ideal way to die. In a pile of heaping, smelly irony.

Date Written: February 22, 2009

It is the year 2035; I will be standing on the beach with a group of my friends from the community theatre. We are taking pictures and just hanging out, basically having a grand ol’ time. When someone suggests that we re-enact a scene from our latest play, The Fall of the Princess. (It is about a Princess who must find true love by her eighteenth season of fall, overcoming obstacles that end with her learning some moral lesson and winning the man of her dreams.)

Naturally, I was cast as the Princess and I played my part well. We went through the whole play with no problems, even moving scene five to a cliff to be more dramatic. It is the climactic romance scene when the Prince declares his everlasting love for the Princess, sealing their fate to be together for eternity.

So there I am, standing back to the ocean, the sunset’s rays shining behind me, wind blowing gently through my hair, when the “Prince” stumbles on his lines. I roll my eyes at his amateurish behavior (because he was never that good an actor anyways) and start to tap my feet impatiently as he thinks of his lines.

He takes so long to think of his line that I start to daydream, when suddenly he snaps up and screams his line in triumph (“And if you should ever fall, or stumble, my ever-waiting arms will be there to catch you!”), making me lose my balance and fall over the edge to my death.

End