I drove down my old road today
the old dirt road where my home used to be
but it’s not my home anymore

I took two rights, two lefts
past the glistening blue pond
now frozen over
my tires touching the dividing line
where pavement turns to packed dirt and
potholes
past the houses of my neighbors
but they aren’t my neighbors anymore
and pulled into the driveway that isn’t mine
and parked
and gazed at the garden my mother used to plant in
but all the flowers are dead, now
and looked at the house where I grew up
small and blue
a distant memory
strangely familiar

I looked into the yard
at hills I used to roll down
the green grass dead and brown, now
remembered the trees that existed -
long before the new porch –
now cut down

I looked for the nooks
where we used to hide eggs
with Smarties and pennies inside
but I couldn’t find them

I looked for my fat, black dog
but I know he’s dead and buried in the back

I looked over the lake
black waves rippling
where I used to run and jump in,
headfirst,
fearless

I saw the mailbox
with four numbers
that are no longer my address
on this street
where I no longer live
at this house
which is no longer mine
with my memories
that are no longer the present

only the sun is the same