Dear myself, 1211 northern China, Shenyang

I was born in a period when the Mongolians invaded China. All my life, my parents and I were running away from the invincible army, the Mongolians. Therefore, I was separated from my parents when I was eleven years old, when the Mongolians finally launched their attack on our village. The soldiers slaughtered every single living in the village, flames, bloods and corps everywhere. Luckily, I was managed to hide in a house a few miles away from the village. From far, I could hear people running and screaming in mercy and pain. As the sounds of refugees approached the house where I was hiding, I thought my doom had arrived and there is no way I could escape my destiny. Until the soldiers arrive and find me, I may still have a few minutes to live; all depend on the matter of time. Then the door slammed opened, I was sitting on a chair waiting for my death. In my head, I was thinking what will happen after my death, Will I be able to join my parents, whom I believed dead?

As the footsteps approached me, I closed my eyes and prepared myself for what is coming next. But what I was surprise to hear the familiar language coming from the living room, it was Chinese. Mongolians couldn't speak Chinese.

Without knowing exactly what happened, I hurried jumped off the chair and ran forward to the voice. In front of me, there were the group of refugees, most of them were injured and some were dead. Among them, stood a woman, she was the only standing, and she suddenly called:

"Hurry folks, we don't have much time left. Heal the injured ones and get moving after.

Then, another voice calling form the outside

-Daki, come and help me to carry this man here, hurry before he dies". The woman who was standing hurried ran outside and both women returned, carrying an injured man.

The woman hurried took a cloth of her bag and started whipping the man's legs with it.

"Qi, talk to him while I stopped the blood". The other woman obeyed and started talking to the dying man. Meanwhile, the others were crying in harmony and some started moving. Cruelly, I ignored the others; my eyes were only observing the two ladies and the man.

-No, the women cried, no, don't give up; hang in there, no…you can't die, you…you still have your family waiting for you at the bridge, hang in there! The bridge is not so far away from here. Very soon, you can see your sons and wife!

No response form the man, his face was very pale. His legs were gone; they were covered by cloths and blood. He was panting very heavily and said:

-I…I… want to…eh…see ah…my sons…them…become…men…strong…family.

My…eh…home…I don't want to…die…please…save me…plea…save…

The words died. His lips stopped moving, his eyes still opened wide with tears running down his cheeks. The women then understood that he was dead. They wiped their teary eyes with their sleeves and slowly closed the man's eyes.

-Rest brave man, I will tell your family your story, the man who saved two young women from those devils, and now they thanked you and you may sleep in the eternal peace…Both women pronounced the words one by one with pride.

-Alright sister, let's keep going; don't let this man's life go to waste.

-Damn those Mongolians, I will make them pay what they did.

-I believe you are not the only who want revenge. Look everyone is gone, let's hurry up as well.

The room was indeed empty already. Nothing left but corpses and blood and three of us left. When they were about to leave, one of them noticed me.

-Oh my! A survivor, Qi look, a little girl. The woman shouted to the other woman and looked at me. OK! Hurry girl, come, and hurry! Don't just stand there, hurry, they are getting closer as we speak, hurry child, hurry.

She then grabbed my wrist and ran out of the house. The light outside the house seemed to be so bright, I covered my eyes and continued running with them, and there my journey began.

After a few hours of run, we finally stopped near a lake and rest but not for long, since the army marched closer and closer each second. The women appeared to be the daughters of a skilled blacksmith and both of them were secretly trained by their father to act like soldiers in case of wars. They knew how to fight and protect themselves. The older sister claimed to be Daki and the one younger called Qi. They were planning to take a boat at the nearest port and escape to Beijing, a place where weren't attacked by the Mongolians yet.

"A place that has not been attack… A place that has not been attack…"In my head those words echoed in the deepest abyss of my soul. I asked them if they minded if I come along and they agreed. We drank a few scoops from the lake, picked some fruits that were found on the tree and continued moving.

Days after days, we had travelled in the mountain; those days never seemed to end. The hunger, thirst and tired were killing me; I felt that I couldn't go on anymore longer. But Daki and Qi will always cheer me up. I was glad that I was able to travel with them.

-Shhh, quiet down, someone is coming this way. Qi get ready! You! child hide near the bushes.

-My name is Miu.

-Alright MIU~~~, exaggerating my name, now is not the time for this, be a good girl and hide there, don't make a single sound. Alright?

-No, I don't want to, come with me, Daki, Qi!

-No my dear, we won't fit in now hurry!

-Ok. I jumped in the bushes and disappeared within the leaves. I managed to find a spot that I could see both of them. Then a group of men appeared, around four of them.

I remembered Daki used to tell me about the mountain bandits and those men fit the description.

-Oh, Girl, pretty girl, come here girly, let's have some fun! They called.

Daki was pretending to ignore them. The woman already had her little draggers prepared under her skirt and Qi hid on top of a tree. As they drew closer, Daki turned back and in a quick move slashed one of bandits' throat. He immediately fell down the floor, struggled and then died. The others took out their weapons and ran toward Daki. Qi in the other hand appeared behind them and knives in her both hands, stabbed two of the bandits. The only one left tried to escape but Daki managed to push him down the cliff.

I came out of the bushes, as I walked pass the dead, I could felt the chill. I couldn't bear to see anyone getting killed anymore. To think that blood sank to the river will mixed up with the water and later on we will drink it, won't that the same as drinking the dead's blood? And the corpses later on decomposed with the earth will soon grow a plant out it.

Won't it be the same as eating the dead's flesh? After thinking of that, I started to tremble. I couldn't imagine the future. For me the future will be red, a river of blood and mountains of copses. I don't want to see the future. I imagined the Mongolians standing on corpses and eating each other and drinking blood that they squeezed from the victims.

I thought I was going insane.

1212, northern China, Dalian's port

We finally arrived at the port. It was filled with refugees, the ship was all full. People were jumping on each other in order to get on the ship. Those that couldn't make it to the ship started to pull down those on the ship. They were so violent; they started killing the other passengers to make sure that they will be the only one left to get the next ship.

Many were crying, screaming, cursing. Daki, Qi and I hurried hid ourselves in one of the cargos and were carried in the ship safely. A few minutes later, the ship departed and the rest started jumping in the water and swam toward our ship. Among them, there was a lady; she was the first who reached the ship. So I pulled my hand to her so that she could grab my hand and get on the ship. She gave a grateful smile and while she was about to get on the ship, the captain push me away and chopped off the lady's arms. She fell back into the water and her blood spread in the water like a red paint. With her legs still kicking against the water in order to float, she was screaming in pain. The water splashed to me along with some of her blood and a few second later, she sank into deep water and never come up. I was horrified. Daki yelled at the captain for murdering the young lady, he quickly swung his sword toward Daki and almost cut her throat and put the sword back to its shed.

With a cold look and voice he answered: "Look here, see all those people in the water?

Daki nodded.

-At least forty of them, do you think our packed ship can fit so many?

Daki, pressing her left hand with her right, she shook the head with her both eyes closed tightly. So tight until we could see her veins.

-If I let that lady up, all of those will followed up. And in that case, I guess I will throw you and that little girl and some of you women down so I can get the others up. You women are useless after all, so quit nagging." He turned his head toward the sailors and ignored the others in the freezing water. I looked at them, I wanted to cry, I felt so sorry for them. I want to help them but I couldn't, I hurried closed my eyes tightly and used my hands to cover my ears from hearing the horrifying screams. Qi took me in her arms, and both of us cried in silent and said prayers to those in the water.

1212, Yellow Sea
The journey to Beijing seemed longer than any moment of my life. There was nothing but the horizon. Many of the passengers died of sickness and lack of water, everyday I would prayed. All I wanted was to survive, hoped that we could to see the light of the next day.

"Hurry up, I want to see the land, I can't take it anymore, I felt sick, I hate the sea… murmured a boy next to me. He was around my age.

-Sea sick? How lame. Not manly.

-Hey, I am the son of a proud soldier ok? You need to respect me little girl.

-I am not little, I am going to be twelve tomorrow. I replied by looking at the moon.

My birthday, the full moon…Last year, I celebrated with my parents…but this year, I will be celebrating alone. I replied again, my eyes a little bit teary.

-What? Don't cry, you are not alone, look at these people on the ship, and plus me too."

I stared at him and smiled. He smiled back too.

After dozing off a little, I realised it was day already. But I still don't see the land. I look down at my shoes and examined them for a few since I was very bored. This pair of shoes was gifted by my grandmother before she died. Nothing special, so I moved my eyes and stared at the wooden floor. Then suddenly, I saw a pair of dirty shoes in front of me. I looked up and it was the boy from yesterday with his arms behind his back. He greeted me morning and I smiled.

-Eh…Well…, he hesitated a little; Here I brought you these, putting his hands toward me. It was a little doll, pretty old though.

-Nice doll, you have there, I never thought boys played dolls. I chuckled

-No, no, no~~~ it is for you not me! It is for your birthday.

-OH~~~ I see, as I observed the doll, wait a minute, it is for me?

-Yes, I am giving it to you. I mad this for my mother, but she left this world, so take it.

-Thank you. I appreciate it, thank you. I smiled back. You are a good boy after all.

You can be a good soldier in the future.

-Oh thanks, I will. And I will protect you from the devils. He said with his face blushing.

I am Kiba; my name means wolf's jaw.

-Ah, eh, my name is…I am Miu. I said shyly.

-Miu~~~, he pronounced my name as if my name was a music. Miu is a nice name.

We became friends on the ship. We would play hide and seek, marbles, sing songs …etc

I felt so happy with him. Every morning, I would run to find him and play. With him, I realised my worried got fewer and fewer. We would stare at each other and smile when we were tired of running like what my parents used to do when I was young. I really liked him, I meant, he was brave and a nice boy. He and I could be happy together.

Then the sky became darker and darker and so were the clouds. Then it started raining very heavily. The captain announced to us that a storm was coming. All the passengers were panicking and Daki, Qi and I were hiding inside. I looked around and wasn't able to find Kiba. I ran out in the rain to search for him, I tried to win against the wind which was pushing me to the hedge of the ship but I couldn't. And with a final push, I almost went flying if it wasn't for Kiba, grabbing my hands with his. He said he was inside all the long and he heard my scream that was why he came to search for me. Suddenly, the ship shook and Kiba lost his balance and fell over board. I tried to grab his arms but I didn't make it on time. Splashed in the waters and disappeared. I couldn't believe it, I almost caught him, just a few centimetres away, and I almost saved him. I tried to search for him in the violent water, I went to call for help but no one answered me. My eyes followed the currents up and down but no sign of Kiba anywhere. My heart was frozen.

"He is dead, Kiba is dead, it was my fault. It was my fault. I was so useless. Kiba is dead, I will never see him ever again, I can't talk, touch, play with him anymore.

He won't smile at me anymore. He is dead, really gone. I…" I repeated, and repeated and repeated those phrases again and again. My heart squeezed against my chest so badly that I thought it will explode in any second. I scratched my hands and face with my nail, it hurt but Kiba suffered even more pain than I do. I wasn't able to forgive myself for Kiba's death. I had seen so many deaths but never have I felt to hurt. I wanted to see Kiba again; just one more time is enough, just one, why god, all I demanded is just to see him one last time. I wanted to tell him: "I am sorry Kiba and I …love you."

A few hours later, we reached Hebei, only five hours after Kiba's death, we reached Hebei. Daki and Qi tried to confront me but they failed. My heart was gone. I don't want to go on anymore. The tears from my eyes won't stop dripping. When we got down the ship, everyone was crying of joy. With another few more days of travel, we finally reached our destination, Beijing, the place had no war yet, and everything was so beautiful, nice, and clean. I saw everyone walking around the street so happily, I couldn't stand it, and I was angry and jealous.

-Not fair, these people don't suffer at all. Not fair, why me? Why Kiba? Why us? Why not these people in Beijing?

I started to cry again.

1215, Beijing

A few years later, I managed to calm myself down a little and I worked in a teashop that Daki and Qi opened. Business was very good; it was nice that I can finally live like a normal girl. My fear had faded away, but my feelings toward Kiba had never changed, I kept the doll he gave me as a lucky charm. So there I was, serving the customers while happily smiling at Daki and Qi when I heard the alarm. It wasn't any alarm; it was the alarm of war. My smile suddenly turned bitter as I stared at Daki and Qi, they themselves looked pale like ghosts. The alarm was telling us that the Mongolians had arrived and besieged Beijing. I dropped the glass that I was supposed to serve the customer and stood there as I observed the people running in fear and from the other site of the closing gate, I saw the huge Mongolians army marching closer and closer to destroy me again.

"Someone, please stop this nightmare for me."

Sign Miu Wu