A Bridal Affair

“Are you sure?” Melody asked, gripping her bouquet a little too tight.

June, Melody’s sixteen year old sister, frowned so deeply that it made wrinkles that were not naturally on her young face suddenly appear. June held her own, tinier version of her older sister’s bouquet limply at her right side. She sighed.

“Yeah, Sis. I’m sorry, but it’s true,” she answered.

“How do you know?”

The words were strained, forced. She suddenly was too aware of the fact that she was standing in her heavy, white wedding gown. The dress, heavy with tulle, satin, and beading felt like a weight on her body. In a silly moment, she reflected on the paper dolls she used to pop out of books and strap clothes onto their form. This must be how they had felt.

June stared sympathetically at her and shook her head, which caused her bobbed, blonde hair to sweep her face a couple of times. The teen shrugged, causing one of the spaghetti straps of her blue could-have-been-a-prom-gown bride’s maid dress to fall loose. In a quick move, it was back in place.

“Do you really want to know how I know?” she asked simply.

She threw her eyes to the doors that led to the nave and the alter. Melody’s own eyes followed hers. In moments, she was going to take the “long walk” and exchange vows with her cherished one. Her lips tightened into a thin line. June reached up and swept a curled lock of her sister’s chocolate brown hair off of her shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” June whispered.

The stems in the bouquet Melody held were sure to be destroyed by now. Her grip was so tight that her hands were aching. She was in no mood for apologies. She shook her head dismissively as her other bride’s maid and Maid of Honor—Melody’s dearest childhood friend, Katherine—entered behind the two.

“Never mind,” Melody said, turning to the newcomers.

“Nervous?” Katherine smiled.

The Katherine’s dress was identical in style to those of June’s and the other bride’s maid’s—Gloria, a coworker at the same firm Melody worked for—except that hers was black. Her hair, a bright red, was pulled up and twisted elegantly. And her smile was so wide that it reminded Melody vaguely of The Joker, Batman’s ever-grinning foe.

“Well? You are so nervous, aren’t you?” Katherine pressed.

June whirled determinately away from the group, facing the double, ornate doors. Melody, however, returned her Maid of Honor’s smile. She exhaled slowly and, hopefully, unnoticeably.

“I think I’m just fine, really,” she responded.

“I guess it helps to know that you didn’t have to pay for all this, huh?” Gloria’s squeaky voice interjected.

“Well, a little. My future in-laws were very generous in paying for Jeff and mine’s wedding. My parents chose to cover the honeymoon.”

If it were at all possible, Katherine’s smile seemed to widen. Melody had to fight looking away, afraid that the woman’s face would shatter. Then, she reminded herself, she really should not care.

“Isn’t that backwards?” Katherine asked.

“Yeah, but that’s the way everyone’s budget worked out. They didn’t argue about tradition at all.”

June turned suddenly, placing a hand on her sister’s arm.

“I think they’re ready,” she said, in tones that suggested a code rather than the words she had actually said.

“Okay,” Melody said. She added, turning to Katherine and Gloria, “Places.”

June followed her to the back of the procession, eyes wider than the china that Jeff and Melody had picked out weeks ago. Melody smiled brightly at her younger sister.

“What the hell are you doing?” June hissed.

“I’m getting married, June. I thought I clued you in on this?”

“But…after…?”

“June…trust me, okay? Get behind Gloria, now. And don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

June nodded and did as she was told, glancing back only once or twice at her sister as if Melody had become quite deranged. However, once the doors opened, the procession began, and June moved as she had practiced.

Melody watched from a little ways back from the door as everyone fell into place. She muttered soothing words to the young flower girl standing nervously in front of her, the little basket of petals shaking in the girl’s hands. Even from the distance she was at from the alter, Melody could see her groom.

He looked rather good in a tux. Always had. His own, blond-brown hair was naturally curly and grew to a “white-man’s afro” if not kept neatly cut. He was going to let it grow out for the wedding, just to annoy her. Melody had cut it herself and quite well, she thought. His eyes were perfectly oval and green, details not clearly seen from her position, but she knew them well enough to pretend she could.

She sighed, sorry for a moment for the plan she had formed only seconds ago. Then, watching Jeff smile at Katherine as she took her place, Melody smiled. When “The Wedding March” played, she pranced down the aisle.

Jeff’s family pastor performed the ceremony. Melody did everything as was rehearsed. She said her vows, listened in devotion as Jeff spoke his, and exchanged “I dos” with him. All the while, she could feel June’s eyes boring a hole into her back. Finally, the elderly pastor pronounced them married and instructed them to have the traditional kiss. But Melody stopped Jeff’s lips, inches from hers.

“I just can’t wait until the reception. I have to do this now,” she whispered to her new husband.

Her grin was Cheshire as she turned to her gathered guests. Her eyes swept the audience, finding Jeff’s parents, her own, then her sister, whose eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into her hair. Katherine looked like she was choking on air, and Gloria looked blissfully unaware.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Melody began, addressing everyone.

“What are you doing?” Jeff whispered urgently.

She ignored him. “You see, I just couldn’t wait for the reception. I have to thank all of you for coming to our wedding. You don’t know how much it means for me to have you all here to witness this event.”

The crowd went from alarmed to benevolent. There were many a “aw” and “She’s so sweet!” coming from the group. Melody waited for them to subside before she continued.

She found her parents. “Mom…Dad…thank you. Thank you for raising me to be a smart, independent woman. For teaching me that I am worth it.”

Her mother’s eyes were narrow, but both her parents smiled and mouthed “I love you” to her anyway. She turned to her in-laws.

“Paul…Becca, thank you for this lovely wedding. And for raising your son so…well, raising him.”

Both of them were too shocked by her pause to even remember to smile. From them, Melody found her final, true target. Jeff stared at his new bride. His green eyes were as narrow as slits and his mouth was pulled tight.

“And Jeff…dear, dear Jeff. Thank you for…sleeping with Katherine last night, you horrible bastard!”

The crowd gasped. Jeff sputtered for a few seconds before Melody shoved her very expensive bouquet of roses—very thorny roses, she hoped—into his face. Turning, she then locked eyes with Katherine, who looked as if someone had poured ice water down her back.

“Bitch,” she said.

Gathering up the skirt of her gown, Melody strode out of the church to the sound of much shocked and appalled chatter. She was halfway across the asphalt parking lot before she heard the clicking of heels behind her.

“Sis, wait up!” June shouted.

Melody slowed. Once June was in step, she regained her pace, and her sister matched it.

“Nicely done. But why did you go through with it anyway? You could’ve stopped before it was over,” she asked.

“And leave him without Paul and Becca sticking their irresponsible son with the wedding bill? Hell, no!”

June laughed. “So, where are you going now?”

“To the courthouse to get an annulment.”

Melody found her way to her car, opened the door, and climbed inside. June followed suit, handing her sister the keys after she had had a moment to fumble for them. Melody cranked the engine. Then, turning to June with a laugh, she smiled.

“June?”

“Yeah, Sis?”

“Thanks for not being my Maid of Honor.”

The two of them cackled as Melody floored it out of the church parking lot.

End Notes: This was written as my Creative Essay assignment for my EN 324 Oral Tradition class. The assignment was to write a contemporary retelling of an urban legend or folklore, often called a fakelore. I chose the urban legend of the bride/groom announcing in front of the whole church that the other had slept with the maid of honor/best man. I combined several elements from the several different versions. If anyone is interested in the legend, please visit the wedding section of snopes [dot] com.